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O'er the Land of the Brie

@thejadedkiwano / thejadedkiwano.tumblr.com

IDEK. Have some chocolate.

[Video description: Four videos that have been stitched together; the first three are captioned. One: A lawyer in a suit says smugly, "I sued a 9-year-old kid and won!" Two: A bearded person sits outside and says ironically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a basketball game and won." Three: A person wearing a yellow bandanna as a sweatband says dramatically, "I challenged a nine year old kid to a bench press competition, and won." Four: A (presumably) nine year old kid walks across a lawn, shaking their head slightly and sounding out of breath as they say, "I had the worst day of my life." End description.]

Description by @mocweepe

Pavitr: Violence isn't the answer.

Hobie: You’re right.

Pavitr: *sighs in relief*

Hobie: Violence is the question.

Pavitr: What?

Hobie, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Pavitr, swings after him: NO-

This day is the hardest so far, because it is an entire eight-plus hours of just winding tunnel. It is a day of travel of that same ten-foot wide, continuous tunnel, and it is maddening. - c2e50

different types of people on a road trip.

[Image description: A gifset of the Mighty Nein walking through the tunnel in episode 50 of the second campaign.

Gif 1: Laura, as Jester, starts singing, “Sixty-six bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-six bottles of beer.” Marisha, as Beau, starts waving her hands and clapping to the beat, Travis leans into his hand, and Sam stares forward. All of them have deadpan expressions.

Gif 2: Everyone from the previous gif, with the same soulless expressions, sing, “Take one down, pass it around, sixty-five bottles of beer on the wall.”

Gif 3: Caleb stares forward and says, “It’s two o’clock.” Offscreen, Nott says, “Shut up.”

Gif 4: “It’s three o’clock,” Caleb says. “No,” replies Nott.

Gif 5: Fjord says, “If you’re gonna do those maybe put some chimes behind it?” Caleb later says, “Ding dong, ding dong. It’s four o’clock.”

Gif 6: Beau says, “Hey guys. I’m just saying. If we’re gonna be underground in a blank, boring, shithole tunnel for a whole ‘nother day...”

Gif 7: Beau rummages through her bag before looking back up at the rest of the group. “I still have these mushrooms left over from Mollymauk.”

Gif 8: Beau holds up her bag in offering. “Might just help make it fun!” she says with a hesitant grin.

Gif 9: Jester says, “Beau! You know what we could do.” Offscreen, Laura says “I hand her the smutty book,” and Marisha mimes receiving it, gasping and grinning when she sees what it is.

Gif 10: “Wait wait wait!” Jester says. She leans forward with a devious expression. “Read it out loud.”

Gif 11: “Okay!” says Beau with an equally devious expression before excitedly flipping the book open and leaning back to glance over the first pages.

Gif 12: Beau says, “It already starts good you guys.”

Gif 13: Beau reads, “It was a glistening night. The snow fell on the winding paths. She could feel her nipples...” She cuts off with a wide-eyed expression. “(all caps) It starts so soon (end all caps)”. End image description.]

[Plain text: This day is the hardest so far, because it is an entire eight-plus hours of just winding tunnel. It is a day of travel of that same ten-foot wide, continuous tunnel, and it is maddening. - c2e50. End plain text.]

[Image description: One last gif of Jester slowly craning her head back and groaning, “Twenty-one bottles of beer on the wall.” End image description.] (image description via @imber-florum)

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ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

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apple bottom jeans — this is a reference to the apple that was eaten from the forbidden tree of Eden

boots with the fur — this references the way Adam and Eve had to clothe their nakedness once they had eaten from the Tree

the whole club was lookin’ at her — traditionally it is Eve’s fault for succumbing to the temptation, and most scholars blame her and future women for original sin

she hit the floor — this is a reference to the snake, who was cursed to crawl in the dust

next thing you know — the Lord immediately responded to kick them out of the Garden of Eden

shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low — this represents the way humanity fell from grace and gave in to temptation, and was repelled from the garden

well then, random tumblr user, you will be happy to know that he did, in fact, see it

you guys who are saying that polls need to have the "all of the above" option are simply wrong.

the fun of tumblr polls is in forcing you to make a decision. in giving you the agony of choice. in trapping you between your two favorite answers and relentlessly mocking your weakness.

"all of the above" is cheating. it's lame. it lacks conviction.

you lack conviction. choose, weakling.

You guys understand.

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"You win if you die on the hill with the most corpses" is going in my diary tonight