funnytwittertweets
Whales are cool as fuck and im sick of them being out in the ocean where I can’t see them
This is the best AITA because on the actual matter at hand I'd say he's kinda right (ish), $4900 for a week of work is really good money and they can always celebrate later. He should have obviously talked it over with her first but still. What makes him an asshole (or just like, a really really weird person) is every other detail that is tangentially mentioned.
found the artist's name in the notes and went looking because this slaps (it's called A Place Where I'll Dance) and its not even their best song. check this shit out:
I didn't know this was a thing but now I need so much more of it
I didn’t know this
was a thing but now I need
so much more of it
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
how did Lou stay so straight faced that is a fucking skill
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
how dare you say we piss on the poor
Like can we summon this m
like to charge reblog to cast
A monster?
A Hero
Sweet pangolin baby. A little guy. A friend
LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST
reblog to enlist your mutuals in building the House :)
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”
JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
Sooo hilarious but I can completely see this being a real conversation between streaming execs 😏
(original vid: Asif Ali - instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2p8jpkzz)
“they even put an Indian guy in WandaVision”
hang on a second, I gotta look up something
yeah, this is really funny
The worst thing in the entire world is when you’re sweeping a big pile of dirt into a dustpan and it leaves that little coke line of grit behind. No matter how you position your pan or your broom and no matter how many times you sweep over it your outcome cannot change. As immovable as fate. I hate it so
Get a wet paper towel and wipe up the last line of dust with it. No fate is so immovable that we cannot change it.
Always nice when math helps make it all the more clear how ridiculously reasonable the worker demands are.
This is what the studios have brought everything to a grinding halt for.
Anonymous asked:
Blocking only creates uninformed bubbles.
actually blocking creates a fun internet experience where the people u dont like cant bother u
Actually blocking prevents combat damage from being dealt to the player by instead assigning damage to the blocker.