nintendo: can't have alcohol in our child gambling games!!! solution???

Me after consuming nineteen (19) glasses of vacation juice:

Victor Frankenstein: I’ve created life but I refuse to put any effort into helping that life develop. I won’t teach him, love him, or defend him even though I forced him into existence with a fully operational adult brain lol. Peace, bitch.

The Monster: Am Eloquent Baby

Boomers: He’S NOt thE ViCtIM, HE’s tHe MOnsTEr

An ironic parallel considering the idea of “tough love” parenting that plenty of boomers like to use. If they buy into the idea that their kids just have to toughen up and face the real world without guidance or emotional support, I’m sure it does scare them to read a story where someone who wasn’t given any support began to resent their creator and turn on them.

it’s like that post that’s like ‘knowledge is knowing that frankenstein is the doctor; wisdom is knowing that frankenstein is the monster’. like the whole point of the post is that frankenstein’s monster is a victim of viktor frankenstein’s own monstrosity.

mary shelley did not lose her virginity on her mother’s grave just for people to misunderstand her best known work over a century later.

she WHAT NOW 

ok

thank

from “what does love mean? see how 4-8 year-old kids describe love” by ladan lashkari

[”when someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. you just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” billy - age 4]

what is it about me sitting in my little corner of the Internet and saying “I actually don’t hate myself as an adult now and I want to be nice to people and that’s my entire thing” that makes these anons start foaming at the mouth

I’ll be perfectly honest, I’ve spent the better part of a decade wishing I weren’t fucking alive and beating depression off with a caveman’s wooden club. If I get to a point in my adult life after all that shit where I can finally say “I don’t want to see myself dead anymore, I like who I am” and you have the gall to tell me I have too much self confidence now, I’m gonna take the club I killed my depression with and I’m gonna start beating you with it

Basically,

what others call a rebellious phase I call the sudden realization I don’t deserve to be treated like garabge

IT HAS BEEN SAID

If Boomers didn’t want my generation to be full of obstinate spite against widespread evils then why did they expose me to these lines in Lord the Rings at the tender age of eight:

fuck your Climate Change Denial-ism, we’re going to get through this

May the strength and endurance of Sam Gamgee flow through your veins.

ever notice how men criticize games like animal crossing and stardew valley on the basis of “the entire game is just doing tasks” without recognizing that “kill bad guy” is also just a task but violent?

”it’s so boring all you do is talk to people and do tasks so you can buy new things” yeah and all you do is press a bunch of buttons to kill people so you can buy new things? perish

my activity page has not known peace since i made this post i have hundreds of insufferable gamers crawling up my pant legs now but luckily i have a secret up my sleeve… i too am a gamer man. im immune to the gamer venom   

This has the same energy as that post that’s “Red Dead Redemption is just Barbie’s Horse Adventure with violence”.

Apparently Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Birds of Prey wielding a crossbow isn’t sexy according to a man ??

it’s almost as if men are used to seeing women in film through a male gaze where they are sexualized and objectified for male pleasure and approval.??

huh anyway MEN are weak and ladies enjoy Mary Elizabeth Winstead looking hot and powerful as Huntress

like THAT ^^^^^^^^^ is sexy men need to grow up

Hmmmmm I wonder why

I know this isn't specifically about Harley Quinn, but since it's her movie, I gotta make the comparison. I mean I wonder why all men were drooling over this Harley

But I havent heard a single male praise for her hotness since the trailers for her movie came out and they find out now she looks like this

I MEAN

I W O N D E R W H Y

the difference a woman makes thank god

after hanging out for a few hours, she had to go because her three kids were home from school ♥

This is one of those posts I hope never ever dies

but you let him sit there and do it for 5 whole minutes so. you deserve it

me: *saying “WHAT?” seven times to someone giving me coherent face-to-face verbal directions*

also me: *hears a faint noise and randomly lifts head like a deer* hey did u guys hear that??? wtf how could you not hear it-

But why only date women 6 months out of the year? And has she said what she’s gonna do if y’all continue to date up to her cut off point in December? Is all this linked to her Tarot work?

Honestly, is she willing to hold a panel? Because I have so many questions…

The stunning conclusion to the Bisephone Saga that somehow manages to raise more questions than it answers:

Epilogue:

(originally sent to me December 23, 2019)

These three are the peak of pokémon designs, they should be the starters 😤

I love how they all have a butt face but in different forms.

There’s this cool thing I’ve noticed with doctors where I can walk in, sit down, and say “I have X thing and I need help” and they go :)) Oh sweetie u know ur not a doctor right? :)))

or I can say “I have a family history of X, I have 95% of X’s symptoms, people with X have advised me that I might also have X, and I would like to be tested to see if X is my problem” and they go :))) o honie babie child :)))) web MD is not reliable :)))) u only THINK u have X but its okay ur not a bad person :)))) its ok u don’t need to fake an illness for attention :::))))

BUT if I go in and say… I do not know what is wrong plz help they’ll be like “ah yes by the stain on the left knee of ur jeans and ur messy eyebrows I can tell u have X,, have u ever heard of it” and I absolutely hate it, I hate knowing exactly what’s happening and having to pretend I don’t just to be taken seriously, I propose it be titled The Sherlock Effect

I 100% agree but why the Sherlock effect?

Thinking you can know everything about someone within 15 seconds of looking at them, cool in theory but irritating and dangerous IRL, plus my doctor literally quoted Sherlock Holmes at me while explaining that I have Hysteria, a thing I don’t have, because I’m getting treatment now for the real thing I do have

Some fuck ass doctor diagnosed you with HYSTERIA? IN 2019????

give your male characters asses you fucking cowards

you mean like blizzard?

Exactly like Blizzard. They are ass Gods lol

GIVE EVERYONE TACTICAL BUTTCHEEKS

TACTICAL BUTTCHEEKS

You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then she’s just like: ‘I’m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan’

Vader: You’re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part

Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me???  I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on there… 

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission? it’s more likely than you think

ok but this is like legitimate Canon Improvement because I’d always wondered why Vader was so wildly furious at the start of the movie like “rahhhhh bring me the passengers I WANT THEM ALIVE!!!!” and now I’m like

ohh yeah okay they literally JUST blew up Vader’s base, stole his sh!t, and took off while giving him the finger from the window

IT GOT BETTER