The Goat of Sauron

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

Christinemaricomics

I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

Disobedient Roadrunner (by 77krc)

don’t ever put them in a situation

Oh god please turn the sound on

@hellahezz

Big jump

Baby owl

(via)

living with a tall dude is ridiculous I just turned around and he was walking our cat around on the ceiling

you wouldn't get our bond

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur "very beautiful, very powerful" at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

Nothing says existential crisis quite like a sun bear

Happy Existential Tuesday from Sardines

Happy Existential Tuesday from Sherman

Happy Existential Tuesday from Doreen

Happy Existential Tuesday from Humperdink

Happy Existential Tuesday from Gorgonzola

Happy Existential Tuesday from Funfetti 

Happy Existential Tuesday from Geezer

Happy Existential Tuesday from Mashugana

Happy Existential Tuesday from Maurice

Happy Existential Tuesday from Reginald

Happy Existential Tuesday from Finkelstein

Happy Existential Tuesday from Tentacle

Happy Existential Tuesday from Beezlebub

Happy Existential Tuesday from Coaster

Happy Existential Tuesday from Squid

Happy Existential Tuesday from Mildred

Happy Existential Tuesday from Cobblestone

horrid little cat saved me from my devil's nap by putting her paw directly into my mouth

pov your sleep paralysis demon is very cute

oh this is not even CLOSE to the angriest chickpea looks. at any given moment she has the face of someone about to knife you for bread in the sewer. this is just how her face is! a selection of miss piss for your perusal:

emotionally competent cassowary

Image originally created by @brieflycleverspoons

You belong to this world. You are not an outsider in it, you are not unimportant. You are a part of humanity, you have the same rights, the same dignity, the same value as everyone else. You belong here. Don't let anyone convince you of otherwise, don't let your anxiety tell you anything different. You are wanted here. You're not alone.

Pero buatefack

You can do that?!!

thinking about this older Black lesbian i met once (genuinely older, like, in her 50s), who said that while she's polyamorous she's not in a polycule, she's part of a galaxy. she explained that some people were planets, they were a big part of her life and very consistently present, others were comets, only in her life for a little while but enjoyably so, and others were moons, present, but not as present or consistent as others. and the way she talked about it and the smile on her face were both beautiful.

i just really love this idea. way too many polyamory set ups are like "this is my wife and my almost-wife", just echoing straight marriages with a small twist, and not only is this a model that breaks away from that, it also allows for like, the reality of how even the people who love you might not always be available, whether because of time or distance or disability, and that's okay. i think i might adopt this model, actually.

i think it’s p awesome that the first compasses invented in china were not magnetic, but in fact mechanical - the cart with the little wooden man pointing south was built in a way that no matter which way the cart turned, the little man would always point south

this is a model of what it looked like

how does this work? it’s so cool and confusing

the gears are aligned in a way to always turn the little man in the opposite direction as the cart at the same rate of rotation. so if the man points at you, and you turn the cart clockwise 90 degrees, the man will be turned counterclockwise 90 degrees, and still be facing you. if you turn the cart counterclockwise 90 degrees, the man will be turned clockwise 90 degrees, and still be facing you

as for how they got the cart to point south to begin with, that goes into fengshui and cardinal direction geomancy. but long story short, the workshops that built these carts would have their front doors facing south to begin with (using the sun and the stars to figure out which way is south), so all they would have to do is build the cart facing that direction, and the little man will always point south

thank you!