me when people act like friends being married at my age is normal

@princely-affairs @benevolentcrabcake

whenever I go to zoos and drop my ice cream on the ground a bunch of ants come over to it.  so my question for the zookeepers is why are you letting the ants out of their cages

Did you know some people stop being tired? Like, they enjoy a cup of coffee and then go on with their day, feeling awake and functional? They don’t feel exhausted all day long? Like that’s so weird, what’s up with that.

source?

Lewis Black has a message for millennials planning to sit out the presidential election.

well shit when you put it like that

My husband and I are surprising our 6 year old by taking him to Disney for his b-day tomorrow. We’ve been in the car for 4+ hours and he still thinks we are on our way home from school. He keeps saying “looks like we’re almost home!” 😂

Bless his heart.

Update: we arrived to Disney World, he thinks we took a wrong turn and is very concerned about who is going to feed our cat.

Give him space He can do it

*someone asks me to do something in my job, where i am paid to do things*

Where I want to be

date a girl who will drag you outside at 3 am to look at the stars

Date a girl who will let you sleep cause she know you got shit to do in the morning

(via endlessly-desirable)

Why do we gotta even change presidents??? Ya know……Obama’s pretty cool,,he can just stay it’s cool please don’t leave us we’re all going to die

i don’t want to hurt anybody but i want to be happy too

Clothes that are too dirty for the closet but too clean for the laundry: welcome to THE CHAIR.

im lacking vitamin A (attention)

now I’m lacking vitamin V (validation)