I remember someone saying "mad scientists in fiction aren't scientists because there's never a control group"

I think if you've created an elixir that turns people into goat men you have sort have gone past the need for a control group. The control group is not going to placebo themselves into goat men. You can probably not run the control group, and safely assume that none of them would have turned into goat men. That said, having a control group for that would make the mad scientist seem extra crazy and be really really funny, especially if he was carefully testing them for goat like features from the dyed water they drank instead of the elixir

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST

and breadsticks are its BONES

ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins

its organs are CALZONES

LASAGNA plates its armored hide

and should the hero dare

you'll find the noisome Jaws are strung

with garlic angel hair

The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it:

Feel free to add any favorites!

we should set more tv shows in fake US states the way we make up fake european countries for disney channel originals and hallmark movies

@pvrrhadve oh do continue

I wrote this poll after reading the Supergirl “Killers of Krypton” arc and coming to the personal conclusion that the whole Rogol Zaar thing is pretty dumb and unnecessary.

Looking at the way I wrote out all the poll options though, I realize they have the same energy as something Kara would furiously write down on a whiteboard with a shit-ton of angry underlining and arrows while Clark and Jon look on with increasing concern.

its an environmentalism metaphor but also Flamebird did it but also it doesn't matter bc it's about the diaspora narrative but ALSO, MOST IMPORTANTLY, the REAL reason everybody died was because jor el and lara were the cultural equivalent of drag queen hippies so nobody listened to them

:3

these faces get me every time

She's an artist.

The art in question... In case anyone was interested...

Thanks everyone for supporting an aspiring artist! Her work is on the fridge where she can look at it whenever she wants.

Thinking once again about how different people approach the idea of which side of the Superman/Clark Kent divide is “real”. My two cents?

Personally, I don’t like it being as simple as “Superman is the tool Clark Kent uses to do good” or “Clark Kent is the mask Superman wears to blend in with the rest of society.” It might be easier to explain if we think in terms of there being three identities–Clark, Superman, and Kal-El. Kal-El is the identity that can be called “real” with the fewest caveats. It’s who he is around his parents, Lois after their relationship starts to be deeper than “Winking at her after saving her from a burning building”, Kara, Jimmy, and probably the other founding members of the Justice League (Rule of thumb: anyone who has been let in on the secret identity probably knows Kal-El). Kal-El is the most rounded identity, able to be sweet and earnest and a little awkward without having to be as meek and timid as Clark Kent has to be; able to be brave and sure and capable without having to be as flawless and (for lack of a better word) corny as Superman has to be. Kal-El, I think, is where the playfulness and sense of humor live, along with the fundamental drive to do good and the ability (not merely the desire but the ability) to form close relationships.

As for Clark and Superman, they are both, in their way, lies–or at any rate constructs–and yet because they are equally false, they are also equally true. Superman is Kal-El’s ideals, his willingness to step up and accept the “Great Power=Great Responsibility” principle, and his efforts toward staying connected to and honoring whatever he can salvage of his origin and heritage (I could go off on a whole ‘nother ramble about that) as much as he can. Clark Kent is Kal-El’s  humility, his belief in the importance and worthiness of those who don’t  have “Great Power”, and his efforts toward fitting into and making a home this world that took him in and loved him when his ancestral world could not. 

What makes this three-way identity tricky to spot is that he so rarely uses the name “Kal-El” even when he is very much in “Kal-El” mode. His parents, the people who can most unquestionably be said to know Kal-El, call him Clark, while Batman, the person with whom he is most likely to act as Kal-El when presenting as Superman, will still call him Superman as long as they’re in costume (and then Clark when they’re out, assuming we’re at a point where he and Bruce have swapped identity information).

This the way Christopher Reeve played the character, and he made each of them easy to spot.

#as an aside#people ask the same question about bruce wayne and batman#and i think the answer there is much the same

@pedanther *nodnodnod*. If we want three names for that one, we could think of The Bat-Man, stoically-terrifying creature of ambiguous humanity who strikes terror into all who nurse evil in their hears (and frankly a lot of people who don't), Brucie Wayne, cheerfully-idiotic playboy who offsets his phenomenal privilege-blindness by handing out $500 tips and fully-funded hospital wings like it's nothing, and a third aspect (who one would be equally justified in calling Bruce Wayne or Batman), a deeply compassionate yet emotionally-stunted loner with dozens of loved ones who buries his grief and survivor's guilt in a wickedly deadpan sense of humor and a "hopeless" crusade that has meant the difference between life and death for hundreds of people.

I think Brucie Wayne is a little bit more of a fiction than Clark Kent is, but he's a fiction that Bruce can wear like a second skin, and might very well enjoy doing so. Being rich is fun, after all, and sure you can't embrace it uncomplicatedly when there's justice (in all its forms) to pursue, but does that make champagne less sweet, satin less comfortable, or socialites less enchanting? Probably not all the time.

Meanwhile, a lot of the impression that The Bat-Man generates is carefully constructed to generate maximum fear, but all the snarling and rage still has to come from somewhere.

i mean this as is they seem like they’re good at the subject but honestly interpret it as whatever

Elrond be like: I am 4/8 human, 3/8 elf, and 1/8 angel. My mother is a bird and my father is the North Star. My twin brother was the first king of Atlantis but somehow I seem to be more famous than him. I am one of three ringbearers, the other two being the female version of Feanor and a guy who loves fireworks. My foster father is a crazy homeless guy who likes music and his whole family is dead. My many-greats grandnephew is in love with my daughter. No one can tell my sons apart. I like waterfalls and am both a glorified innkeeper and a top-notch doctor. I am the voice of reason no one listens to.

Okay but like…Jewish Southern Gothic

once again asking for reblogz plz pretty plz i want tasty data and my follower demographic is small and probably more muslim than average

I just went on a rant about plungers, how’s your day going?

“go off bestie”? Okay, I will.

This is a plunger.

Classic red cup with a wooden stick. We all know it, love it, and have seen a cartoon character using it to unclog a toilet. Right?

WRONG.

The image above is actually a drain plunger, used on sinks, showers, and baths. Not on toilets.

These are a toilet plungers.

Take note of the variations. Each of them have a flange of sorts at the bottom, either connected via a cup or more accordion-like tube. These are designed to actually get down into the toilet bowl where it flushes down, giving it more space and leverage to unclog blockages. See the example below:

Notice how the flange allows it to go deeper into the toilet to provide more power to the plunge. Sink/drain plungers are far less efficient and effective at the task.

Sink plungers can also have an accordion shape to help with power in plunging, but crucially do not have or need the flange that toilet plungers do.

To recap: cup plungers are for sinks, showers, bathtubs, and other drains. Flange and accordion plungers are for toilets. Notably, accordion plungers are slightly harder to use, but are more powerful when used correctly than their flange counterparts.

So the next time you see a cartoon, video game, or stock art depicting a cup plunger being used on a toilet, you can feel the same levels of anger and emotion that I do!

why does this have nearly 100 notes

Because with this level of passion, containment is futile 

The real question is why does this not have a million notes? This is information that will very likely, at some point, be incredibly useful to anyone who has indoor plumbing. Which is, you know, probably, 99.99% of this website's user base. (I'm sure there's someone out there using Tumblr who lives in a house built in 1850 which never got upgraded and they still have an outhouse rather than toilet.)

My entry for the ‘’Sailor Moon Team Up ‘’ contest  : ) I won !

This is such iconic moment right here and I want to share it will all of you.

Superbat meeting Wonder Woman

Best Damn Writing and Art.

I like that even with the lasso of truth being held by Batman, to him, the truth is his name is Batman.

dc comics heritage post

Proposal: Part of the reason the Clark Kent persona is Like That is to give Mr. "I've always got this and I can save everyone" a chance to experience other people being protective of him.

2D Legend of Zelda style game where the Princess gets sealed inside a giant crystal and the Hero has to save her, as one does, except the Hero manages to obtain the crystal at the end of the tutorial dungeon.

The bad news: nobody knows how to break the giant crystal without killing the Princess in the process.

The good news: the Princess is fully aware inside the giant crystal and can still use all of her Magic Princess Powers within a limited range.

(The Big Bad knows this, and tried to work around it by keeping her in a large empty room with nothing nearby for her to target. That didn't work out so well!)

The whole rest of the game is basically the Hero lugging this big stupid crystal around in order to bring the Princess within range so she can use her magic to actually solve the problem at hand.

The Hero plays basically like Link from a typical Zelda game, except all of the Hero's upgrades relate to making them a better crystal-carrier: throwing the crystal, teleporting to the crystal, doing an AoE attack that affects a line between them and the crystal, etc.

When you switch to playing as the Princess, you're both invulnerable and physically immobile, and the joystick moves your targeting reticle for your spells instead. Those spells are mostly puzzly environment-manipulation stuff with an elemental theme, plus some basic damaging blasts to discourage monsters who get too close. There are recurring sequences where the Hero is indisposed for some reason and you need to figure out how to use the Princess' spells to move her into position to solve the current puzzle and un-trap the hero by using environmental effects and contraptions to fling the crystal around.

(In the final battle, the Big Bad proves to be completely immune to both the Hero's weapons and the Princess' spells, and winning involves setting up some sort of Rube Goldberg sequence of events which causes the Princess to fall on the Big Bad's head from a great height, killing him instantly.)

It often happens that I don’t have a full story or fic, just a sentence or two that refuses to leave my head. From my nonexistant fic A Penguin’s Guide to Love and Murder: “While physical beauty has never been a gift of mine, I flatter myself that I possess charm and other loveable qualities, and have rarely been lonely as a result. (Besides which, if I were to go about bemoaning my looks, I doubt Killer Croc or Two Face would give me much sympathy.)”