"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.
"I know a guy" = "I have a useful contact."
"I know a man" = "I am about to tell you a story."
I know that its not actually that hard to learn to draw. or paint. or cook. or learn to speak a new language. or code. or any of a myriad of other possible skills or hobbies. but at some point you need to pick some single digit number of those ten thousand things that anyone can do, and to everything else say "i have other priorities" because otherwise you will never do any of them.
and so i think when people say "i wish i could..." they usually don't believe that they couldn't do it if they really tried, or even that they've overestimated the difficulty of doing so. I think what they're really wishing for is that time and energy were not finite quantities and that everything that was worth doing could also be done. because it's cosmically unfair that that isn't so.
"The ends justify the means" tormented villain, except their ends are also bad.
Like, they don't want to be crushing all these orphans, but orphan paste is the only fuel they've found that's strong enough to power their puppy-incinerating machine.
If you ask them why they want to incinerate puppies, they look at you like you're crazy.
"The ends justify the means" tormented villain, except their ends are also bad.
Okay I am definitely stealing this post from someone else and if anyone remembers/can find the original please drop the link but like. I am still thinking about what making Jonathan Harker Jewish would do to his “obliviousness” in the opening chapters.
Because when you’re Jewish, and a bunch of visibly-Catholic people start weeping and showing obvious fear and waving crosses when you pass through their neighborhood, you’re first thought is probably not going to be “Hmm, I wonder if the castle I’m heading toward has a vampire in it”, but rather “*Sigh*”
No one? Too bad!
First things first, some ground rules. This is a remake, not a modernization. It’s still set in the mid-to-late 1970s. This is meant to be more serious than the original, but we are not going full Dark N’ Gritty with it. It’s more of a Dramedy; taking the more than a little one-dimensional characters from the old show and making them into human beings. Romantic relationships between the students may happen (I have some ideas in that direction), but even if they do, they shouldn’t be the focus. The main thrust of the students’ character arcs comes from their individual journeys from early Sophmores who have given up on themselves (or at the very least gotten discouraged and don’t feel that anyone believes in them) to graduating Seniors with plans for their lives. The romance that will get the most focus will be the one between the Kotters—not that we’re pulling that bullshit thing where a married couple has to constantly tease breaking up or else they’re not “interesting” enough, but simply that their marriage is an important part of their lives. In addition to adding some important girls to this sausage-fest, we’re also altering the pre-existing characters somewhat. So, without further ado…
Gabriel “Gabe” Kotter: I’m well aware that, even if we were actually making this, we wouldn’t be able to get him, but in the vein of this character being played by an already-successful stand-up comic, I’m kind of envisioning him as he would be portrayed by John Mulaney. He has the air of someone who is constantly so anxious about so many things that he’s come out the other side and achieved a sort of zen calm. He should have the ability to completely change tracks at the drop of a hat without appearing to be perturbed at all. He can respond the most outlandish of happenings with a reaction that boils down to “Well, naturally.” Don’t play poker with him. But for all that, he does have feelings. In addition to the aforementioned ever-churning cauldron of various anxieties, he loves his wife with his whole heart, and cares passionately about his students and his quest to improve things for the Sweathogs. That being said, he has no illusions that these are all simply misunderstood saints—he well remembers himself and his classmates. “We were a bunch of terrors. We were angry, and we were discouraged, and we were scared, and we were resentful, and we took it all out on anyone we could. Including each other, and even ourselves. All the smiling pity in the world wouldn’t have turned us around. But maybe, just maybe, a little bit of commitment would have.” And that’s what he intends to bring. Commitment. He may offer his students more respect than most teachers have offered them, but unflappability and calm are not to be confused for pushoverness.
Julie Kotter: Sweet, wholesomely pretty (could be a bombshell knockout if she wanted to, but usually doesn’t. If you tell her she’s beautiful, she won’t deny it, but it’s not something she spends much time thinking about.) Kind of a hippy but, like, in a mainstream way. Has a strong, ahem, sensual side that comes as a surprise after her girl-next-door first impression. People also tend to be surprised by the biting wit that serves as a steam valve for her usually long-suffering nature. While she agrees in principle with her husband’s quest, the speed with which the Sweathogs make his (and therefore her) home their own troubles her (“I’m just not sure I’m ready to be a mother”). But in the end, her compassion gets the better of her and she comes to care for the kids just as much as he does, though never loosing her flair for the well-placed smart remark.
Vincent “Vinnie” Barbarino: Sometime early in elementary school, someone told an amiable but image-conscious child that he was stupid. This rather stung him. After mulling it over for a bit, he decided, partially consciously and partially not, that if he had to be stupid, then by God, he would be stupid. Realizing that, with a little theatricality, abject stupidity could make those around him laugh, and deliberate abject stupidity made sure they were laughing with rather than at him, he decided that this was his role: the Class Fool. Fast-forward to high school, and affect has become habit has simply become personality. Good looks and charm coupled with a stubborn idiocy. You see, for all his presentation as someone who cares nothing about anything, he still cares, very much, about his reputation, and it’s much less damaging to be seen to not try then the to be seen to try and fail. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he may be beginning to realize that this is not doing his future any favors, but thinking about that too hard would interfere with his indolent good cheer, so he is Not Going To Do That.
Kim Song: For most of her life, this second-generation Korean was quietly studious, with just enough ambition to drive her forward. Then, in her freshman year of high school, a friend convinced her to come with her to a big house party, she tried to loosen up, had a little too much to drink, blacked out…and two weeks later she got the final confirmation that her life was changing forever. Plenty of girls in her position would have given up on any ambition beyond what was necessary to keep herself and her baby alive. Song is not plenty of girls. The new life growing in her stomach lit a fire in her soul: she has more to think of than her future now; there’s someone she’s going to need to provide for. And now, within this five-foot, red-eyed package there lies a mind like a steel trap, ambition that could melt steel beams, and the elocution of an 18th-century political firebrand. And since her “shameful” teen pregnancy got her assigned to the Sweathogs where various inspectors and superintendents would be less likely to see her (and never mind what kind of black mark that would leave on her record, or that she had been in the highest honors classes and academically still deserves to), we can add a new element to the list—a deep, abiding rage that only serves to make the rest sharper. She’s going to become a lawyer. Not “wants” to become a lawyer, not “hopes” to become a lawyer, not “is trying” to become a lawyer, she is going to become a lawyer. And God help any disruptive classmate or apathetic teacher who gets in her way.
Arnold Horshack: If I may editorialize for a moment, this boy’s characterization in the original show as I understand it confused me. How could such a keen student just…never have the right answer? And why did someone whose whole thing is that he’s the character who actually does want to learn constantly pull class discussion off on seemingly irrelevant tangents? And I think the best explanation, especially factoring in all his “odd” behaviors, is that he is…Not Neurotypical. Probably has a lot of ADD, possibly on the Autism Spectrum. The answer to the question he’s just been asked is in his brain somewhere, but that doesn’t mean he can just…call it up on command. Maybe it was at the front when he raised his hand, but you took too long to acknowledge him, and now it’s gone. And those “irrelevant” comments he’s always making? They’re not irrelevant. You just cant play Six Degrees of Separation as quickly or efficiently as he can. Can and does. All the time. Without realizing he’s blazing a path where others will have a hard time following. Some of those quirks are just part of who he is, but some of them are the result of him trying to be more like everyone else and…not quite hitting the target. All his academic life, he’s been extremely keen for knowledge, but he’s never tested well because it was hard for him to focus. And the more bad grades he wracked up, the more tests started to make him anxious, which made it even harder for him to focus. Add that to all those quirks and oddities making many a teacher uncomfortable, aaaaaaaand welcome to the Sweathogs. He still wants to be enthusiastic, but as the series begins, he’s been kicked so many times, so to speak, that there’s a layer of nervousness and inch thick.
Juliana Diana Katarina “Jewel” Donizetti: Coming as she does from a large family, she learned early on to raise her voice and fight for the attention she needed. Eventually, just yelling became a little too declasse for her (although, with an accent thicker than Molly from Sailor Moon, she never lost the ability to make her voice heard through a crowd), so she cultivated her wit, honing it to the point of a superpower. If she so chooses, she can effortlessly cut you down to an inch tall with a single well-placed remark, but at her best, she can also use her humor to bridge gaps, break ice, and make friends. However, her usual role is that of the loudmouth and wiseass, and one day, she made the wrong comment to the wrong teacher and oops, off to the Sweathogs we go. Her aggressive personality, while not a facade per se, does serve to mask a more sensitive side, including a big heart that’s surprisingly easily bled.
Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington: He’s…actually a reasonably intelligent, pretty well-adjusted kid? Sure, he leans a little too hard into being cool and smooth-talking all the time, but hey, it’s high school, lots of people do things like that. He wouldn’t have been put in the Sweathogs in a million years, except Sports. See, he’s one of the basketball team’s most valuable players, but to stay on the team, his grades have to all be a B- or higher. So when it looked like he was about to get a C in some subject, the coach pulled a few strings to get him transferred to the Sweathogs, where the standards were lower, so his grades could be higher, so he could technically meet the requirements to stay on the team, even though his academic performance hadn’t really improved. Sports, go Sports! This is going to lead to Drama when Kotter, in his determination to give the Sweathogs an actual curriculum, puts Freddie’s easy string of As and Bs in jeopardy, forcing him to either really buckle down…or decide how important Basketball is to him after all.
Rosalie “Hotsie” Totsie: Also fairly well-adjusted and reasonably intelligent, though not an academic superstar. Has a friendly, laid-back personality that tends toward a state of gently wry amusement. Probably the most noteworthy thing about her is her unashamed promiscuity. She likes fun. She likes sex. And she sees no reason why she shouldn’t have both of those things, within the bounds of other people’s boundaries. She always uses a condom. She doesn’t interfere in pre-existing relationships. She won’t force herself on someone, or lie and pretend to be interested in a more serious relationship than she is just to get someone into bed. And she won’t lie about her habits, and is not inclined to bothered by whatever “reputation” she may be garnering. However, despite her best quiet efforts, society is still society. And her refusal to lie about her extracurriculars had started causing many teachers to view her with a disapproving eye. And then caused one particular teacher to look at her with a different kind of eye. At first, she tried to turn him down politely, but after he persisted, she was forced to be firm. And he didn’t like that one bit. So he took advantage of the Bad Girl reputation she was getting herself to convince the relevant authorities that she belonged in the Sweathogs. That’ll teach her. She’s trying to make the best of the situation, but being put in the punishment class can’t help but sting, and knowing that an older authority figure decided to make her life miserable as a direct punishment for her not being sexually available to him is…an icky feeling.
Juan Epstien: Child of a Jewish man and a former Puerto Rican Catholic woman who converted for love. Yes, the misdirection with his background in the original series was clever, but I’m going somewhere with this. See, he and his parents are the epicenter for the coming together of their two clans, so he is the child of not one, but two large, close-knit extended families. And he utterly adores both parents, and both extended families, and both cultures, and both sides of his heritage, and he does not take kindly to people suggesting that one side or the other is inferior, or that one side or the other is less important, or that of course he must value one side more than the other, or that he should value one side more than the other, or that he doesn’t really belong to either side. And various people in school kept on doing that; some out of genuine malice, some more out of ignorance. Add in something of a hot temper, and he started getting into a lot of fights at school, which upset his parents, and he didn’t want to upset his parents, but what was he to do when people just kept on needing to be hit whenever he went to school? Eventually, the solution presented itself: don’t go to school. Thus, the forged absence notes began, and they continued until some teacher finally caught wise and, realizing just how far back this stretched, felt they had no choice but to relegate him to the Sweathogs. When not provoked, he is a fairly easygoing (if more than a little sarcastic) young man, who frequently surprises people with just how his two backgrounds have come together to shape him.
Vanessa Jones: For all of her life, she has been shy. Painfully, debilitatingly shy. This sometimes got her picked on, and when it did, she would usually respond by crying, which only egged them on. So school could be rough. But through it all, she had her Mom and Dad. They loved her, they listened to her, they shared their love of music with her and taught her how to play and sing. So school wasn’t always easy, but at least home would always be a haven of love and warmth and music and laughter and hope. And then when she was ten her Mom got hit by a car. And her Dad started grieving and…just never stopped. Or even got a little bit better. And then he started drinking more than he had. And then a lot more. And now all he ever really does is go to work and then come home and sit on the couch and stare morosely at the TV and drink. Now, he has not become abusive, not really. He doesn’t hit her, he doesn’t take his upset out on her verbally, none of that. But he pays her so little attention these days that he’s definitely in the realm of emotional neglect, and his alcoholism has had him spill over into material neglect more than once. At least she still had her music, and she sublimates a lot of rage and pain into those keys and those strings and that microphone, but one day, some classmates were picking on her for some stupid thing and she just…snapped. Completely lost it. And when they pulled her off of them, it was decided that she couldn’t handle regular classes, and so the Sweathogs it would have to be.
when you're sick you're either a prince moder or a dog moder. prince moding is when you demand many little treats, drinks etc. i personally prefer to drag myself off to a secluded corner to either die or recover, aka dog moding
I like to believe that House seeks a conversion to Judaism as a way to antagonize Wilson and Cuddy, who then up the ante by betting that no rabbi would sponsor him for more than a month.
Thus begins an exhaustive process of finding and then disappointing, offending, or dismissing nearly every rabbi in a 100 mile radius. Until there’s one who sees through his bullshit and decides to entertain this bet in hopes of nurturing House’s spirituality.
Towards the end of an intensive month of meetings, House goes on a tirade about how ridiculous the notion of g-d is, how the work he does every day disproves the idea of a compassionate creator, the typical House behavior of being dramatic and off-putting as a way to proactively reject anyone or anything who’s getting too close to him.
Yet towards the end of his speech, House confesses that even though he doesn’t believe any of it is true, he wants it to be. He wants a world where choosing to do the right thing matters, where it makes a difference and doesn’t just get rubbed out by cruelty and monotony. He wants to believe there’s a reason, that in the end it will all be for something. He can’t say that he knows these things to be true, but he still stupidly hopes they are.
The rabbi accepts House as an official conversion candidate right then, saying he’s never seen anyone summarize Torah and Talmud so succinctly and blasphemously.
it is vintage times. the powers that be have decided it is time to remake the classic vampire novella Dracula for the big screen once more. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, all of hollywood's hottest elite are up for the starring roles. they know whoever they cast will greatly impact the quality and tone of the finished production, so they are turning to their wisest voice for guidance.
If Gloria Holden wins, will the role of Dracula be textually made female, or will she be Bernhardt'ing it up?
This has been articulated elsewhere, but I think it's important to remember how much the thought equation "Everything not forbidden is mandatory (this is a baseline fact that can't be changed) + I strongly don't want to do Thing X = In order to avoid doing Thing X, I must strive to ensure that it remains/becomes forbidden, because if it doesn't, it will become/remain mandatory, and I will be forced to do it." underlies a lot of socio-political shouting, especially where sex, romance, and gender are concerned.
An addition to the saga of weird Elijah things during seders.
Transcript: a series of texts including a photo of a baby deer with spots peeking through a sliding glass door. A message follows saying “deer at the Seder”. The other person responds “Elijah?” In all caps.
It strikes me that versions of Sympathetic Fagin, like the musical, are a bit like Margaret Welles on the show Harlots- they genuinely don't have a lot of better options for feeding their family and want the best for them, and at the same time this is also an awful thing to do their kids.
Yes, and I think your best option is to bring that tension into the story as a textual thing.
Like, let's look at it logically. In order to be good at this particular criminal niche--getting kids to steal for you and keeping the proceeds in exchange for food and shelter--it's beneficial to be good with kids. And the easiest way to be good with kids is to like kids. But if you like kids, then making them steal for you is going to weigh on your conscience.
And I think the most logical way for Fagin to square that circle is to buy into his own bullshit: "These are my children, I provide for them emotionally as well as materially, I'm the only guardian they have, I'm teaching them the skills they need to survive in this world, and I'll come for anyone who messes with them."
And this, by the way, is the best source of tension between Fagin and Dodger. Fagin needs so desperately for his self-serving narrative to be true, and he needs all his kids to believe it, but Dodger--almost always shown to be the oldest in Fagin's gang--has been around the block too many times to buy in. Dodger may not be openly defiant, sowing subversive rhetoric, or plotting a coup, but his subtextual message to Fagin is "No, old man, you're not my father, my mentor, or my benevolent protector. There's not love between us, any more than there's hate. We're in business together, because it works." And this makes Fagin desperately uncomfortable, but he can't afford to throw Dodger out, because he's too effective, both in the actual thieving and in managing the younger kids, and he can't react too openly negatively to it, because that goes against the benevolent (self-)image he's worked so hard to maintain.
I. No maps of Romania?
It is vintage times. The powers that be have decided to again remake the classic vampire novella Dracula for the screen. in an amazing show of inter-studio solidarity, Hollywood’s most elite hotties are up for the starring roles. the producers know whoever they cast will greatly impact the genre, quality, and tone of the finished film, so they are turning to their wisest voices for guidance.
Now I want to watch a time loop musical episode. The key changes every loop. The looper's dance moves go from an awkward shuffle to full Bollywood by the end.
Groundhog Day but it keeps modulating up
This is the song that never ends
