Your future self is hating you for the poor decisions you’re making today.

bold of you to assume current me isnt also hating myself for making the decisions that i am making

Julie D’Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and shag a nun.

(via Feminism)

bisexual opera singer who killed ten men and snuck into a convent to shag a nun.

Just so y'all know, she later set that convent on fire so she and that nun could sneak out. And she seduced one of the men she’d dueled.

Mademoiselle de Maupin (Julie d’Aubigny) has always been one of my role models. I’m so glad this post exists so more people can learn about her. The more you know, the more there’s to love. Let’s see:

She’s back on my dash!

The woman who is, no word of a lie, MY PERSONAL HERO :D

How badass can you be to basically get a lifetime pardon from the king?!

Julie D’aubigny: It’s okay I have a note from the king

“Julie can do what she wants - King Louis XIV”

that “you’re always invited” stuff doesn’t work for me you have to personally invite me or else I’ll feel like I’m showing up uninvited

Sounds like something a vampire would say

Little known fact that vampires have near crippling social anxiety.

I missed this

Never forget

Lmao

Pokemans

WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

😩😩😩😩😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Almost a pear 😂😂

Not having Rober Downey Jr. say “No shit Sherlock” to Benedict Cumberbatch in Infinity War is a huge missed opportunity

Why do people still say “this doesn’t fit my blog theme but I had to reblog anyway”? It’s almost 2018. Who gives a fuck. Who even has a coherent blog anymore

Reblog if you’ve never had a coherent blog and got no intention of starting that shit now

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 

Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.

What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!

She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 

He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS

I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS

an animal crossing villager: adabladbaj? akdnuifmanfm!

me:

Isn’t that what those weird blue monsters from rick and morty say to jerry when he leaves the jerrycare?

You know what’s better than weed?

Water

here’s this dumb bitch again

Shut up, you dehydrated high motherfucker

Why can’t everyone just get along? Why not be high and hydrated? Highdrated

420, the day where people who smoke everyday smoke

GET THE FUCK

Omfg this is gold!!!!

I just had to repost this.  This is hilarious. 

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

That was a wild goddamn ride

god this was worth the read

everyone’s having their mid-life crises at like 19

did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.

Customer Service Wolf.

That wolf embodies the thoughts of most in customer service

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March