This is your reminder — love shouldn’t be hard. Love shouldn’t be the main complication in your life. It shouldn’t be your main source of agony.
We romanticize fighting for each other and sacrificing for each other and showing someone that we’ll be there, no matter how hard they are to love. But the truth is that the person who’s right for you won’t be hard to love.
Because the right kind of love feels easy.
It feels like 2pm on a Sunday afternoon with your legs draped over someone else’s on a living room couch, reading separate books in comfortable silence with each other.
It feels like road trips where the conversation waxes in excitable bouts and then wanes into comfortable silence as the miles pass you by.
It feels like agreeing much more often than disagreeing. Like building each other up much more readily than you tear each other down. It feels like getting excited about the future together, because you’re building one that both of you genuinely want.
The right kind of love isn’t centered around conflict – it’s centered around harmony. Around facilitating one another’s growth. Around supporting each other through challenges. Around bringing out the best in one another, and working through the worst as a team.
And yes, in any relationship conflict is bound to arise. But you need to wait for the person who wants to work through conflict fairly, who wants to be your calm when life gets hard.
Because there is nothing tragically beautiful, in real life, about constantly breaking up and making up and falling apart and then falling back together. In real life, that’s just an ongoing waste of time and energy. In real life, that’s healthy for absolutely no one.
Loving the person you’re with should feel as natural as breathing, most days. It should be simple and effortless to love them. It should be easy more often than it’s hard. It should be straightforward more often than it’s complicated.
And if it’s not any of those things, you’re not in the right kind of relationship.
Because the right kind of love feels easy, even in its most trying hour. And that kind of love is absolutely worth holding out for.
Words:@heidipriebe
