been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

There is so much story telling here. A person got this pacific parrotlet named it Bruce which in and of itself is amazing but then this person went here my little bird friend a raspbebe for you to enjoy and Bruce said hell yeah and went cataclysmicly and irreversible ape shit ham on that berry. And that probably happened more than once. So instead of never again allowing this little dinosaur the joy of the succulent flesh of the delectable raspberry they went what can we do for our little baby boy. and then boom they got some kind of cake cover type deal and cut a door into it so that Bruce would Not Be Trapped in a fruit prison (altho truely it is the berries who are trapped in there with Bruce but none the less) and so he may go to his pent house and freak it as crazily as his little bird heart desires.

Anyway i love pets they are each distinct little guys who are carred for by the funniest ape to ever exist bc we love animal so much

this video saved my life

when she says “ooo” I die

They aired this!!!

I can’t

ahaha yea woo :D

AUGH FUCK OH GOD

Crows are scary They

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

Yeah but have you seen this 

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!

your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.

As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

!!!!

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

He’s so handsome!!

I would trust a crow with my life

This is your regularly scheduled crow appreciation post

many east indians respect crows and lowkey worship them and now i know why :)

fucking superb you funky little death omens

Damn now I want a crow

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

^this

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Then bring me luck

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

people cosplaying on public transit are the backbone of our society and i am SO serious. there is no greater omen of good fortune than seeing hatsune miku on the bus.

I saw a kid cosplaying Miku Hatsune in the library where I work once and I stg I could not have been more excited if Miku Hatsune herself phased from a hologram into reality to check out a book. I kept nudging my baffled older work colleagues to hiss "Oh my god that's Miku Hatsune!! Would it be weird if I went over to say hi?? " and had to spend an awkward hour explaining Vocaloids to them after she left.

I got to know the kid and her dad really well after that. She was so sweet and so very shy that her dad always did most of the talking. He said she was so excited when the outfit arrived in the post that she had to wear it ASAP. I cannot imagine the amount of bravery this shy teen mustered up to wear a cosplay, by herself, in the suburbs, in public just because.

That was a few years ago. Last month we held a Manga Meet Up in the library and people were invited to come in cosplay. We had 60+ people attend which was way over our expectations, mostly teens and young adults but some grown-ups too, and over half of them in cosplay. Including shy girl.

Turns out the potassium nitrate I had as fertilizer for algae to feed my slut isn't fucking a nitrate salt at all and I am pissed

I think a slut needs a more varied diet than just algae?

This is the worst typo in the world

This is the slut in question by the way

💥💥SLUT TYPO💥💥

04/26/2009

Well done...👏👏👏

if you set off a rube goldberg type death trap to kill someone, if it's a long enough machine, it ceases to become your fault if somebody dies at the end. that's how I've gotten away with it all these years, and why I'm still going to heaven.

— capitalists

Most shows with overpowered supernatural characters always try to come up with elaborate excuses to explain why the characters can’t just magic themselves out of every situation. Good Omens doesn’t really do that, but you don’t really question it because you completely buy that these morons are so unequivocally incompetent that they straight up forget that they have the powers of fucking demigods. They’re like high-level d&d characters who only use the same three moves and have completely forgotten about the 73 magic items sitting in their inventory. 

Crowley: I was totally planning on teleporting to this galaxy 4.3 light-years away but then you died and I was sad :(

Aziraphale: Oh I’m sorry. But listen, I need you to go to this village about an hour outside of London

Crowley: You Want me to GO WHere?? How the– how the FUuuck am I supposed to- I can’t Drive, it’s Rush Hour! You want me to WaLK?? In the Rain??! Please, be Realistic.

I cannot express the effect this post had on me. I read it aloud to my roommate and she burst into helpless laughter because it had never occurred to her that Crowley could do anything to get to Tadfield but drive the Bentley. It absolutely never had occurred to me, either. We both have been reading, rereading, and loving this book for about a decade now.

how dare you hide this in the tags omg

good omens heritage post

so i'm in this backyard chickens group on reddit and someone just discovered their hen is transitioning and everyone is stoked

anyway in case you didn't know chickens will sometimes spontaneously f2m and it's pretty cool

Write a horror story in the format of an Internet search history

how to fight skeleton (urgent) - 12:08 am

skeleton chasing me - 12:06 am

where to hide fromskeleton - 12:02 am

scary skeleton in my house - 11:54 pm

are skeletons fast - 11:51 pm

how fast is a skeleton - 11:50 pm

are skeletons deadly - 11:46 pm

skeleton in house - 11:42 pm

bones rattling in house at night - 11:40 pm

weird clicking noise in house at night - 11:37 pm

gay porn - 11:02 pm

I'm fascinated by how the formatting of different social media sites affect how text is read.

For instance, a line break on Tumblr indicates a new idea.

But a reblog break indicates that time has passed.

God I hate these fucking floating monoliths. They always go, like, 10mph below the speed limit and if you try to pass them they just fucking distort reality around them until you're back behind them again. One of them cut me off on the highway once and when I honked it banished me to a hoary netherworld where I wandered, lost and alone, for untold centuries, trapped in the liminal space between what could have been and what never was, black stars dotting the bright infinity yawning out around me as I drove out of thought and time, through endless ruined cities and blighted lands unmarked by the sun's cold rays, and when I finally got out I was more than 20m late for my dentist appointment and they had to reschedule me.