life tip: you can listen to a song on loop

but watch out

I think it would be helpful if people realized gender affirming care isn't just for trans people. It's for whoever wants it. Plus nearly all gender affirming care was made for cis people before it was used for trans people.

Puberty blockers was literally made to help kids who started their puberty too soon. It was made to be safe and reversible.

Hrt was made for cis people originally. Cis women can use both estrogen and testosterone to help with menopause. I don't know if cis men use estrogen like cis women would, but they can use testosterone to help once they get to a certain age.

Cis women have been getting breast reductions and breast augmentation for years. Cis men get hair transplants. I mean fuck, cis men get top surgery to deal with gynecomastia. The same top surgery I'll be getting hopefully in the future.

So if cis people pretty much do the same thing as trans people do when it comes to gender affirming care, why is it bad when trans people do it?

I miss being able to slam a phone closed. I know foldable phones are a thing now, but they are ridiculously expensive, and they don't look like they'll feel the same.

A quick, sloppy little comic about Magritte

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

why must we play god

Artistic representation of how the lemon was invented in the first place

"citrus are whores" is not something i expected to see on the hellsite today

I’m not wrong though they are EASILY the sluttiest fruits. You don’t see Rosales pulling this shit. I mean yeah apples will breed weird new apples but nothing fucks around like citrus.

#so we’re slutshaming the fruits now? 

Tags that look homophobic without context

I MEAN technically squashes are fruits and they are also EXTREMELY SLUTTY.

The lemon and lime fanfic warnings ARE based on scientific fact.

The lemon and lime

fanfic warnings ARE based on

scientific fact.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

i love fat and hairy gay men and their armpits, but i also seeing posts from lesbians and other queer women about how much they love fat and hairy women and their armpits. that's really fucking epic honestly.

i love bears and butches. they should unionize.

i know this is really dumb and cheesy but this is one of my favorite posts because seeing someone be like "sorry to derail but i'm a lesbian that thinks beefy fat female characters are hot :(" is like. no. don't apologize. that's really fucking cool.

Sharing the secrets of your hearth with strangers who will never be able to meet or thank you. Honoring the dead through learning their traditions of the home; emulation and exaltation. A good carrot cake.

AITA for realizing that my best friend is actually a ghost and not telling him because i'm worried that if he realizes he's dead he'll finally be able to accept it and fully pass on and i won't be able to hang out with him anymore?

AITA if i've been dead for a while but haven't told my best friend yet because he doesn't seem to have realized i'm a ghost and if he does i'm worried that he'll finally be able to accept it and let me go and i can't bear the thought of losing him?

AITA for killing that guy

me: *writes fic*

me: great! time to post to ao3-

ao3 summary box: *exists*

me: 

ao3 summary box:

me:

ao3 summary box: 

me:

Ooh, this is actually kinda a neat thing, because you can think of it as a checklist:

For example:

Thus, in less than 100 words:

~~~~

The Anatomy of Story by John Truby is a really good book by the by, if anyone’s interested in this sort of thing.

This is super helpful!’

I wish I could blaze a post telling people to test their smoke alarms but I have literally no money so if y’all could help me spread this the old fashioned way

Test your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors

A little girl and her mom were looking at me at the coffee shop this morning and I heard her mom say “go on, it’s ok!” and the little girl shuffled up to me and said “ex-cuse me please, do you have to put on your tattoos by yourself every DAY or does your mom help you?” I am d y i n g

My niece was in the bathroom when I was in the tub and she asked if my tattoos would wash off. I told her they won’t, I’ll have them my whole life.

She asked, “Even when you die?”

I said, “Yes”

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “When you’re space dust your tattoos will be stars”

I was standing in line at the store and the person in front of me had a little kid who was staring hard until he randomly said “you’re not supposed to draw on your body, you’re supposed to draw on paper” then he turned around as if he’d properly reprimanded me for my tattoos drawing on myself 😂

Q:What is crab day?

A: well, a celebration of how strangely cursed our little corner of the internet can be. It's also a community lead funding. Push. Tumblr costs money to run, if we want to keep our little corner of the internet it's weird unique self, we're going to have to foot part of the bill.

Q: when is crab day?

A: July 29th. I would have preferred a slightly longer lead time to get the word out better, But we work with what we can get and July 29th has already gotten some traction in other groups.

Q: how do I participate?

A: buy a mutual crabs, or if you're broke, crab post crab memes.

Q: why crabs?

A: because admit it. most of us would love to get or give crabs to a mutual.

Which of these would you rather see on your dash?

Hey @staff. This is a perfect example of why collapsed reblogs is such a bad idea. Seeing the full thread, you go like this: 😮 ooh, that's cool 😀 "they're free," hehe! 🤣 "16 cents," perfection!!

I have achieved joy, I feel positive feelings toward Tumblr, I want to engage, I want to stay, my eyeballs land on more ads, you make more money, everyone wins! 🎉

Seeing the collapsed thread, you go like this:

😮 ooh, that's cool 😐 "16 cents"? yes, that's literally what the pic shows, not sure why you felt the need to say that

There is no motivation for me to uncollapse the reblog chain—it looks like a boring conversation about the denominations of coins. And even if I do uncollapse it, you've ruined the joke by showing me the punchline before the setup. I am sad, Tumblr is boring, I go elsewhere to entertain myself, I see less ads, you make less money, everyone loses. 😥

Reblog chains are the best thing about Tumblr. They are your unique super power. They are the thing that makes people screenshot Tumblr and share it around. Why on earth would you kneecap them??

I don't know exactly how you plan to implement this. Give people the option to keep them collapsed if there truly are people who are annoyed by how long they can get (you already have a version of this feature), but don't collapse them for everyone or new users by default. Please. It will make Tumblr so much more boring.

the "tumblr is hard to use 🥺" comment from staff is so funny bc like. its not untrue. but the solution isnt to make everything algorithmic, its to stop hiding the FAQ pages deep inside the site. just like. explain shit to new users. a concept. also obviously just fix the search function

extremely funny to me that “drinkwater” and “drinkwine” are both real-ass surnames. some time between 700 and 1800 CE, someone’s ancestor was such a Thirsty Boy that people started clowning on their whole entire family for it

we are well beyond the point of it being excusable to still support jk rowling her/her IP. the "she's just a silenced feminist!!1!" argument does not work when she is actively offering to bankroll the legal fees of a woman who not only freely associates with nazis, but has admitted she believes a (((wealthy cabal))) is behind trans people having rights and must be "silenced" and has now started a political party. that rowling supports. this woman has on several occasions expressed that she believes trans people should be sterilized. rowling has gone beyond the pale of feminism and is now full-blown alt right and is using her excessive funds to support alt-right pundits. there is no excuse. she is not a feminist. she is not being silenced. she is actively harming cis women & women's rights because she is so singleminded in her hatred for trans people

this post only implies it so im gonna say it outright: jkr is violently antisemetic

Harry Potter And The Triumph Of The Will

Harry Potter And The Birth Of A Nation

Harry Potter And The Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion

Scooby Doo taught us that cops don’t do their jobs and it’s up to America’s youth to unmask the greedy old white guys that are terrorizing society.