‘redditors need to know this’, ‘twitterinas need to know that’… no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.

What does this gif have to do with werewolves?

if you have to ask you’re not ready

can you explain? i don’t get it

This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking “what sacrament?” with a cheshire grin.

it should be illegal to tow a car as punishment and i’m not even kidding

you park in the wrong spot somewhere. maybe at a friend’s apartment complex, or at a store when you’re actually walking somewhere else, or whatever. they could ticket you—still charge you a fine for parking where you’re not supposed to. but instead, in a far more crippling way than a fine (which is already hard enough for low income people), they call a third party and steal your car. so you have lost your means of transportation, which you will only learn the next time you need your car, because they don’t have any need or care to notify you.

so first, you have to figure out which towing company they used. which you can only do if the place that decided your car was in the wrong spot is still open, or if you can get someone on the phone.

assuming you figure out which company towed your car, which one time took me over an hour on its own because the number on the signs warning about towing in the parking lot was a dead number, you then have to figure out how to get there. without a car. god help you if you don’t have someone in your support network to pick you up or public transportation, because most of the time it’s at least a mile away.

you find a way to get there, you call them to see if your car is even really there, and they tell you they won’t give your car back until you pay them. how much? well, it’s not regulated, so they can pretty much say whatever number they goddamn feel like. i recently got towed by a company infamous in my college town and they charged me a whopping $180–half of my paycheck for two weeks during the school year. when the same company towed my brother last year, and we both have the same sized cars, they charged him $300. they don’t have to justify the charge, they don’t have any itemized receipt, because what are you going to do? not pay it? you have to get to work and you’re already short on time because you had to walk to the goddamn towing place or have someone come get you to bring you there or spend an hour on the phone with different people trying to figure out where the fuck your car was in the first place.

it’s extortionate. it’s absolutely insane that they can, without exaggeration, steal someone’s car and hold it for ransom under the assumption that you will pay anything to get it back, because of the extent to which our society is dependent on cars.

Being nice to someone you don't like is not manipulation btw it's being civil

Mmm no, this is like seeking validation. Ofc it's best to be nice but if I don't like you or we both dislike eachother, then there's no reason for us to communicate or be around eachother. It's not about being immature, I would much rather not put myself in such a situation.

Have you ever had a job

you gotta include this photo

ağlıycam

This is it. The internet has come full circle. You can all go home now. We’re done.

Going to bed with a sleepy girl is so dangerous bc you will wake up and she'll still be asleep and you're like ahhh she looks so pretty I can stay here a few more minutes and then she opens her gorgeous eyes that sparkle in the morning sunlight and looks at you and says "good morning" in the sweetest little voice you've ever heard and snuggles up on your chest and then you're TRAPPED forever

me and who

except knowing me i'll find a girl that is equally as eepy and then we'll both fall sleep and repeat this cycle ad infinitum

honestly sounds pretty nice actually

Concept: Skyrim mod that uses an SKSE plugin to link your save file to your Tumblr account so that whenever you receive an ask in your inbox, a courier also walks up to your character in the game to pass you the message in the ask

characters who are absolutely convinced down to their bones that they are unlovable being subjected to the mortifying ideal of being wholly and unconditionally loved. that’s the good stuff. never get tired of it.

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

Bethesda RPGs and games like them are hilarious to me because they take place in worlds where the average person's conflict resolution skills begin and end with "murder."

There's no talking things out, no levels of escalation, no asking for apologies, no nothing. If someone tries to talk to you, but they were looking at a small trinket on your desk worth half a penny, so they accidentally Stole That instead, the only solution to this problem is to immediately try and beat them to death with your own two hands.

Hell the entire town will join in on it too. they all care SO much about that vase or plate or sprig of nirnroot or whatever.

it's even better in oblivion where even HOLDING something that doesn't belong to you for a second counts as theft, denizens of the imperial city are notorious for how much they hate strangers fingerprints on their things. the knives and forks in bars and taverns are just for show, if you try to eat with them they'll call the royal guard to cut your hands off while half the patrons ineffectually bash their mitts against your full plate armour.

Trying to sleep in someone else's bed in the vvardenfell province of morrowind is punishable by vigilante execution, it's probably why divorce rates are so high there also.

Bethesda RPGs and games like them are hilarious to me because they take place in worlds where the average person's conflict resolution skills begin and end with "murder."

There's no talking things out, no levels of escalation, no asking for apologies, no nothing. If someone tries to talk to you, but they were looking at a small trinket on your desk worth half a penny, so they accidentally Stole That instead, the only solution to this problem is to immediately try and beat them to death with your own two hands.

Hell the entire town will join in on it too. they all care SO much about that vase or plate or sprig of nirnroot or whatever.

it's even better in oblivion where even HOLDING something that doesn't belong to you for a second counts as theft, denizens of the imperial city are notorious for how much they hate strangers fingerprints on their things. the knives and forks in bars and taverns are just for show, if you try to eat with them they'll call the royal guard to cut your hands off while half the patrons ineffectually bash their mitts against your full plate armour.

Trying to sleep in someone else's bed in the vvardenfell province of morrowind is punishable by vigilante execution, it's probably why divorce rates are so high there also.

Just watched a woman slather a whole jar of diced garlic on three huge salmon steaks and put on in each microwave at work

It’s going to smell hellacious later

It was so awful I had to work in another building for the rest if the day

Word is she left the fish and went back to her desk to pack up and quit

The stench was so awful they had to open all the doors which required bringing security from two other sites

Most of my department went home for the day

Holy SHIT

what a fucking power move, oh my god.

i am so sorry you had to deal with the olfactory fallout, but my GOD.

i am still so in awe of this woman.

so i accidentally went down a wikipedia rabbit hole and came across the funniest thing that's apparently been plaguing scientists for centuries

it's called "maxwell's demon" and it's so easy to learn but difficult to disprove. basically a tiny demon controls a trapdoor, letting some particles through, and eventually it changes the temperature of two gases without applying any work. the fact that actual physicists are fighting over this 💀

but most of all imagine the tiny demon that's doing all this. all of this impossible effort and for what. why is he doing this. what does he gain

*does a gay little violation of classical thermodynamics that pisses you off*

it doesn't matter how much you tell tumblr that all their silly and bad features don't work and you hate them because they're not for you. they're jingling keys to dangle in front of venture capitalists, the most gullible motherfuckers on earth, so they will keep pouring money into the giant money pit that is this website. this is also why all social media websites add features pretty much

you're not meant to use tumblr live so it doesn't matter that nobody is and everyone hates it. i mean obviously they'd like it if we used tumblr live but ultimately if you understand the incentive structures of social media companies you will recognize that the actual target audience of tumblr live is investors who will hear 'we've added a video livestreaming feature to our site' and think 'oh wow! thats like what tiktok is! and tiktok is growing! better throw another million dollars into this big pit full of fire!'

...does tiktok make money?

no lol i edited the post just now to remove the implication that it does. tiktok loses money but it's growing which is, in the mind of the venture capitalist, an indicator that one day it will make money

90% of the digital economy has, for the last decade, been based on the completely ungrounded presumption that it is possible to directly transform daily active users into revenue at a profitable ratio

im starting to go completely actually crazy watching the exact same decline play out over and over again on every single social media websites with absolutely no sense of self-preservation. its like watching people walk into a buzzsaw after watching the guy in front of him get mutilated by the buzzsaw

In the full disclosure of "I do business"

but with a hefty caveat:

"the scale of my business is running through a rich neighborhood with an ice cream push cart while being chased by the private security guards as Yakety Sax plays on my off-brand boombox"

and a promise to offer something useful at the end of this ramble

I can add (what I hope) is useful and/or interesting flavor to all of the above, which is true.

Venture capital pours money into things like they are trying to water kelp at the bottom of the ocean because:

It is dumb and frustrating.

I refute the "move fast and break things" mentality and I type that and realize I'm in danger of veering off my point.

I'm not trying to counter anything said above (I agree with all of it) but wanted to give a context.

I don't like threads of "rich people are doing dumb things" -- this is incomplete

I would counter with: "rich people are doing dumb things that are still making them richer because the system is rigged to pay them at the very least a small profit and more resources."

And now because I promised something useful: If you have professional skills, use this all in your favor.

When I had my design firm, when a new client knocked on the door, I would assess them for risk -- financial and cultural as it related to my firm, which was... an odd... firm.

(sotto voce: anyone surprised?)

Part of that cultural assessment being "how likely are you to collapse as a client and take us down with you." Startups got extra points immediately in this category.

If you offer professional services, demand better terms (i.e. more $) from startups if they are not backed up by someone cashing out a 401k or retirement or a life's savings -- if they have investors, you need to quietly introduce a new fee structure.

Consider it a secret premium menu.

It might even be worth it to have a second 'division' of your company.

My design firm had two entrances to clients -- if you were a bar keeper who wanted to do a book about your favorite sports team, you'd come through the entrance where I painted our mascot destroying the city.

If you were a global digital {yadda yadda} you went through an agent who took a fee so we could borrow their door and paid an increased fee because you were objectively riskier and could afford it.

all of this conveniently ending with the even GROSSER truth:

Any company that you invest in making money is good, but also, if it forces your competitor to lose more money than you, that's fine too, this actually might be better for you in certain ways

it's all terrible and thats why I draw / write gay monsters now

hashtag :-)

OMG the social media investment plan is the South Park Underpants Gnome bit.....!?!?!?!?!?!

(laughs for far, far, far longer than is comfortable)

Most business is the South Park Underpants Gnome bit

with the final step "become a narrowly focused industry bank"

One thing about me is that I did not live a sterile childhood. I ate dirt and sand as a toddler. My parents did not stop me. I was covered in ticks all the time. So was the dog, who it was my chore to pick them off of. I was outside and covered in dirt and mud and touching bugs and mollusks and things 24/7. I lived in the exact opposite of a sterile environment and I developed an autoimmune disorder anyway.

“The uptick in autoimmune disorders is because kids just grow up too clean. Let your crunchy baby eat dirt with parasites in it.” I WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL. I ATE THINGS OFF THE GROUND. I DRUNK FROM SPRINGS.

One of my favorite tropes is character with a nasty toxic personality who tries very hard to do the right thing anyway

I like my protagonists sad, tired, bitter, fully convinced they will never get the recognition they deserve, but they still gotta get up in the morning and be a good person

Leftism teaches you that the most annoying people in the world can have the exact same opinions as you. And they'll still get on your nerves

Other leftists will say some shit you fundamentally agree with but phrased in a way designed in a lab specifically to piss you off. Like you're right but shut the fuck up