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There's no point in telling me

@thedeadparrot / thedeadparrot.tumblr.com

the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
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thedeadparrot
Footnote Formatter
HTMLize your footnotes into an AO3 friendly format easily!
codepen.io

Are you a writer who loves writing footnotes but dreads coding them up? Have you ever avoided writing footnotes into a fic just because of the work it would cause you later? Do you stare jealously at other people's fic with their beautiful footnotes and wish your fic could have the same?

Well, the Footnote Formatter may be right for you!

This footnote formatter takes text with the footnotes inserted where the anchors should be and converts it into automatically numbered, AO3-compatible HTML.

Go from:

Lorem ipsum[footnote: a standard block of text that we use to test things] dolor sit amet. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco[footnote: And we can have multiple paragraphs, too!] laboris.

to:

Lorem ipsum<sup><a href="#fn1" name="ref1">[1]</a></sup> dolor sit amet. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco<sup><a href="#fn2" name="ref2">[2]</a></sup> laboris. <h3>Footnotes</h3> <p><a name="fn1" id="fn1"></a><sup>1.</sup> a standard block of text that we use to test things<a href="#ref1" title="Jump back to footnote 1 in the text.">↩</a></p> <p><a name="fn2" id="fn2"></a><sup>2.</sup> And we can have multiple paragraphs, too!<a href="#ref2" title="Jump back to footnote 2 in the text.">↩</a></p>

in just a click of a button!

In addition to this default functionality, you will also recieve these additional customization features:

  • Start at any number, not just 1! Ideal for multi-chapter or WIP fics where you aren't formatting the whole thing in one go!
  • Change the return text to whatever your heart desires!
  • Fiddle with the backend javascript, since this is hosted on Codepen!
  • Ping me here, on twitter, or on Codepen and tell me what other features you want!

Try it today for the low, low price of 100% free!

And while you're here, please read the fic I wrote this tool for. It features dom!Aziraphale/sub!Crowley, bondage, feelings, and many footnotes: O Blessed Bonds.

#good omens#ineffable husbands#ao3#tech tools#footnotes
thedeadparrot

fic: To Do Wrong (Hockey RPF, Carter/Richards

To Do Wrong (14385 words) by thedeadparrot Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hockey RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Jeff Carter/Mike Richards Characters: Jeff Carter, Mike Richards Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Blade Runner Fusion, Established Relationship Summary:

The years of doing this -- the same case files full of replicants, the same days and weeks of hunting them through the streets of LA, the same whistling of the kettle when the water's ready -- they're all sitting on Mike's shoulders, weighing him down.

#hockey rpf#my fic
thedeadparrot

a writing meme

Tagged by @the-emef!

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

Not really. I'm happy to stuff my face with whatever is on hand if I'm hungry and to not eat anything if I'm not.

What time of day do you usually write?

In the mornings before work and in the evenings after evening stuff. That's just for putting words in a document, though. I walk a lot, so I will spend a lot of that time thinking about what I'm going to write.

Where do you write?

Sofa with my laptop is my most comon. My bed before I fall asleep is not unsual for me.

How often do you write a new fic?

This varies greatly. I'll go through periods of intense productivity, which for me is 1-2 fics a month, and I'll also go through periods of not writing anything for half a year.

Do you listen to music while you write?

This is kind of like the snack question. Usually yes? Sometimes I will try to match moods, but sometimes I don't. My music brain will every once in a while get fixated on a particular song or particular artist, regardless of whether or not the mood feels right.

Paper or laptop?

Laptop typically, but if my wrists are acting up, I will write out scenes on paper. I used to write a lot more on paper, but then I got frustrated with the transcription step. It's just easier when everything is already typed up.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

Nope. I will open my laptop and charge ahead into my document.

What do you do to get into the writing mood?

Talk to people about it. Ramble ideas at them on twitter or in chat or in e-mail. Responses are not important. Keeping my investment in the story high is the tough part, and talking at someone about it helps.

What do you always have near the place you write?

A glass of water. Dehydration is a real thing.

Do you have a reward system for word counts?

I get to brag about it to people. That's about it? Not to get too cheesy or anything, but having more words written always feels ~like its own reward~.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

I know this is unusual compared to most of the other writers I know, but I don't spend a lot of time looking back at things I've already written until I've already gotten a first draft completed. I'll just keep dumping words onto the page until I get to the end. I just find that it's easier for me to separate out the writing step, where I get a whole bunch of words written, and the editing step, where I make all those words make sense and try to keep them from being terrible.

tagging @stultiloquentia

#writing
thedeadparrot

(The Answer Is) Blowin' In The Wind (X-Men Movieverse, Charles/Erik)

(The Answer Is) Blowin' In The Wind (7769 words) by thedeadparrot Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: X-Men (Movieverse) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier Additional Tags: Darkest Timeline, Post-X3, Pre-X-Men: Days of Future Past Summary:

Charles is resurrected. Erik regains full use of his powers. And everything that happens between those two events.

#my fic#X-men#fth fanwork 2017
thedeadparrot

fic: sweeter than heaven, hotter than hell (Hockey RPF, Carter/Richards)

sweeter than heaven, hotter than hell (4414 words) by thedeadparrot Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hockey RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jeff Carter/Mike Richards Characters: Mike Richards, Jeff Carter Additional Tags: Psychic Wolves, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot Summary:

Arnold's the one who's getting very thoroughly laid wolf-style, and Mike's here in his hotel room, very much not getting laid. Good thing Jeff's around to help him out.

#my fic#hockey rpf#carts/richie
thedeadparrot
humblebundle-deactivated2019111
www.humblebundle.com

The Freedom Bundle stands in support of liberty with the ACLU, the IRC, & MSF. 

United, we stand. This week, we at Humble Bundle have banded together with an amazing group of developers and authors to take a stand for freedom. Our special all-to-charity bundle benefits three timely and important causes: the ACLU, the International Rescue Committee, and Doctors Without Borders/ Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF). 

You’ll get over $600 in incredible games and books for just $30, and 100% of your payment will go to charity. We chose these three organizations because of the inspiring work they do in providing humanitarian assistance to refugees and displaced people, and in defense of justice, human rights, and civil rights. 

In the first 4.5 hours of the bundle, it raised one million dollars; Humble Bundle has proudly matched contributions up to $300,000.

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thedeadparrot

This group of games is amazing. All of the money goes to charity. You can choose how you would like to split your money between the ACLU/IRC/MSF. Highly, highly recommended.

#video games
thedeadparrot

Fic: ‘Til You Make It (Don’t Trust the B---, Chloe/June)

'Til You Make It (4100 words) by thedeadparrot Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Chloe/June Colburn Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Ellen Page's Birthday Party Summary:

"I ran into Ellen Page yesterday in a Duane Reade condiments aisle," Chloe says. "Gave her this long sob story about my girlfriend and her tragic medical condition that makes her eyes really big and forces her to wear ugly sweaters, and she invited me to her birthday party."

Whoops, forgot to cross-post this.

#my fic#don't trust the b in apt 23
thedeadparrot
azephirin
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torrentprincess

Okay but I just want everyone to understand

the best thing about Ilvermorny being in Massachusetts is that this brings up a bunch of stupid fucking Massachusetts headcanons about wizardry: 

-Professors with disgusting Boston accents 

-The platform for Ilvermorny HAS to be at North station

-enchanted MBTA commuter rail 

-the division between NY and Mass wizards going deeper than house rivalry 

-the Red Sox curse being ACTUAL dark magic 

-confirmed wand fights over Sox vs Yankees and Patriots vs literally everyone not from new England

-a Dunkin Donuts suspiciously close to the school that is always looking for workers because people are terrified of working the nightshift there. 

-Magical Dunkin Donuts 

-There’s an underground passage at the school (a la Whomping Willow and One Eyed Witch) that exits at the old Harvard station.

-On the train ride to Ilvermorny, students like to fire off spells. The stray magic wreaks havoc on cars between the station and the school, making them nearly impossible to drive and making the drivers seem exceedingly reckless. MASSHOLES EXPLAINED 

-The real reason the Pumpkinfest riots happened at Keane State was because Ilvermorny wizards decided to crash and cast some drunk spells without realizing the consequences, once something caught fire, people rioted. Student wizards are not well liked in New Hampshire

-There’s a reason why Boston is “the hub of the universe”: wizarding folk powerful in astrology and divination gather there for readings more accurate and powerful than anywhere else.

-There was a gang of dark wizard students, who caused an unbelievable amount of mayhem and panic one day. The local magical authorities realized it would be almost impossible to totally wipe the memory from everyone’s minds. One wizard joked, saying that they’re going to come up with some ridiculous excuse like a family of ducks trying to walk through the city.

PLEASE ADD MORE SHITTY NEW ENGLAND HEADCANONS

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halfhardtorock

That whole “we have to shut down Government Center for two years” thing actually extensive banishing magic catastrophe.

#boston#harry potter
thedeadparrot

fic: Wild Magic (Hockey RPF, Carter/Richards)

Wild Magic (3587 words) by thedeadparrot Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hockey RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jeff Carter/Mike Richards Characters: Mike Richards, Jeff Carter Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Hunters & Hunting, Animal Butchering Summary:

On the ice, he careens into opposing players, he fires off slapshots, he wins faceoffs, and he gets into fights. He does it all with the taste of the lake's water on his tongue, the feel of its winter ice underneath his skates. Some of the other witches chirp him for cheating, for using his magic where it's not allowed. But they don't get it. Mike's magic has never been something he does. It's always been something he is.

Also, just a reminder that I have fic up for auction. You can make me write things (within reason). Bidding ends soon.

#my fic#hockey rpf#carts/richie
thedeadparrot
stultiloquentia
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tiltedsyllogism

Three Reasons to Bid on a Fanwork (or two or three) for the FTH Auction

Wait, what is this auction? It’s a fundraiser for several excellent charities and social justice groups, organized in response to the election of a certain cheeto. You can find the auction’s tumblr here, and the various auction offerings here.

1) You get to commission a fanwork (art, fic, podfic, video) to your more-or-less exact tastes and desires, and/or recruit one of your talented fellow-fans to furnish you with the help you need (beta-ing, translation, &c.) to make your own fanwork as awesome as it can be.

2) Every single cent of your donation will go directly to one (or more) of the charities/organizations on our list. There are a lot of groups listed, covering a lot of issues (LGBTQIA, environment, civil liberties, minority rights) and they are all excellent organizations that are badly in need of our support. Here’s the list.

3) You can take part in showing how powerful fandom is, when we work together.  We are running almost 700 auctions. That means that we have the potential to raise, in technical terms, a whopping shit-ton of money. But in addition to all the fabulous creators who are volunteering their time and talent, we also need bidders.

tl;dr: you can get the fanwork(s) you have always craved, and help show the world how amazing fandom can be, all for the low, low price of doing something that is valuable and important anyway.

Find the auction page here.

Peruse the auction offerings here.

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debwalsh

Please reblog from this post! A term that folks may have filtered for is not included, so they won’t get to share in the wonderfulness otherwise!

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thedeadparrot

Bidding is super fun, and now I'm scheming about all the things I will make people write for me. Mwahahaha.

#fannish auction
thedeadparrot
Anonymous asked:

Omg, I love ur richie/carts fic! It gave me so many feelings! Hope u write more of them in the future

Thank you so much! I also have so many feelings about them that it‘s good to hear that some of them ended up in my fic!

#asks#Anonymous
thedeadparrot
azephirin
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m-steraquasgf-restinpeace

okay but if you’re ever in london and you have the chance to see a shakespeare play performed at the globe theatre itself DO IT even if you don’t think you’d dig shakespeare

if you need convincing here are a few highlights from when my family and i went to see the official globe theatre production of a midsummer night’s dream:

  • they cast helena as a guy (helenus), first of all. they took a straight love square between two girls and two guys and made it a love square between a girl and three guys, only one of which was white. both sets of couples get happy endings and it’s fuckin adorable
  • it was reimagined with an indian setting
  • puck had a water pistol and kept shooting at the audience
  • historical accuracy?? who cares everyone’s gonna dress like a modern hipster teenager
  • bottom and his acting troupe sung bon jovi
  • oh yeah also the acting troupe were reimagined as globe theatre employees with delusions of acting skills
  • hermia and helenus sung single ladies by beyonce
  • innuendos. innuendoes everywhere
  • oberon walked onstage for the fight between oberon and titania drunk with a half-empty bottle of schweppes
  • lysander spent a significant length of time in the play wandering around in just boxers and a leather jacket
  • oberon made out with puck
  • demetrius dabbed
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jenniferrpovey

I hope to manage it at some point.

there is a recording of a livestream they did in September 2016, you can watch it until february 2017 here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p047lmwj

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meretricula

this sounds intriguing

#shakespeare
thedeadparrot
fandomtrumpshate2017offerings
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fandomtrumpshate2017offerings

thedeadparrot - FTH Contributor Page

See thedeadparrot’s works here!

To contact the seller before bidding, please send an ask to thedeadparrot.

If you have a very specific prompt and are not flexible, it’s best to contact the seller before bidding, even if it fits within their listed parameters. If you are asking for a specific kink, always ask first.

Charities these auctions benefit: Bidder’s choice. See the full list here.

thedeadparrot’s offerings:

thedeadparrot Auction #1

Type of fanwork: fic Fandom(s): X-Men Movieverse, MCU, Star Wars Rating(s): G, Teen, Mature, Explicit Length/size: up to 5k words, 5-10k words Will not: A/B/O, MPreg, Steve/Tony Notes: I’m willing to negotiate on the specifics of the story if there’s a fandom and/or pairing that I have written in the past or you think I may know but I haven’t listed here. I’m pretty flexible about that sort of thing, and I’d like to make you (the bidder) happy.

Auctions run from 12 January 2017 (Midnight, EST) to 19 January 2017 (Midnight, EST). Bids before or after this period are invalid and will not be counted. If you would like to bid on this auction:

Step 1: Check the bidding spreadsheet to find out what the current high bid is. (Note: It may take up to five minutes for a bid to appear.)

Step 2: Fill out the seller’s bidding form with a bid that is higher than the current high bid. If you want to make it harder for someone to outbid you, bid higher! You will NOT be notified if someone outbids you, so please bookmark this page and check frequently. You will only be notified if you are the high bidder after the auctions end.

Thanks for participating in Fandom Trumps Hate!

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thedeadparrot

Heyo, I'm offering up fic for this auction myself.

My list of offered fandoms is pretty short, beccause I got decision paralysis while trying to fill out the form, and the list of fandoms I'm willing to write in is actually really big! Generally, anything I've written before is fair game.

Please feel free to drop me an ask if you're unsure about anything. Thanks!

#fannish auction