Alt text included.
This applies all the time, not just in 2020: Please do not kick or use your feet/shoes to hit accessible door buttons.
I see you’re trapped in my gay and stupid maze again
Elliot Page has the chance to do the single funniest thing in the history of Hollywood.
You know, I wonder if any of the events with Dracubat showing up to drink Lucy would have been deterred by having a dog on hand. Not even a big dog, necessarily--just a dog with a good bark. Various hounds have already proven how they all have a joint Dracula sensor and mutually H A T E this ba(t)stard.
If Lucy had a pup on hand, I'm 99.99% sure their barking and hackle-raising would
1) Snap her out of her trance before she can get drinked
2) Alert her and others to the recurring presence of the bat
3) Add 'Thwarted by pissed off lil puppy-buppy' to Dracula's resume, which I think he deserves
Alternatively, just get her a very astute cat. In which case:
they’re horrors to YOU, however i’m turned on by them
This is the picture Amazon sent my BIL to say the packages were “delivered to a family member directly”
You just know his ass is saying roo roo
When you think about it, Catholic priests are just a really elaborate form of drag
You guys I just realized that what I’ve always wanted out of werewolf fiction is a story where lycanthropy isn’t a purely human condition
Like this dude wakes up from his wolfbender and his room is full of all these fucking chickens from local farms that he initiated into his pack. They all start clucking and crowing at the moon and when it’s full they all transform into these tiny little weird bipedal wolves with wings.
I don’t remember making this post but it’s going around again and I’m losing my shit
Imagine becoming a werewolf because you got attacked by a fucked up chicken
Gothic romance novels cover art by Harry Barton (1970s)
people need to accept that some gay/lgbt people are terrible and some gay/lgbt people are boring and it doesnt make them Actually Straight or anything
big pet peeve of mine is gay internet users talking about ellen degeneres and pete buttigieg and acting like they’re “basically straight” as if both these people aren’t literally married to someone of the same sex sleeping in the same bed with them and having gay sex with their gay spouses and as if ellen degeneres coming out wasn’t such a huge moment in the lesbian community and pop culture as a whole that the biggest lesbian website for decades after that was called afterellen like unfortunately being gay doesn’t make you immune to being friends with war criminals.
btw i found a lot of people who work private security literally fully think they’re cops. it’s really funny and sometimes disturbing
The fact that Everything Everywhere All at Once has the main character see that if she hadn’t gone to America with the man that would be her husband she would’ve lived a glamorous life of fame and fortune and her husband would’ve gone off and gotten very rich on his own rather than living together in an apartment over a laundromat struggling with finances every day and where so many movies would’ve framed that choice to go off together as a mistake, shown their alternative lives as some sort of “see? It wasn’t worth it” and had them “escape” to that “better” universe in the end, it instead all culminates in the line “Just so you know, in another life, I would’ve been really glad to just do laundry and taxes with you” changed my wholeass life
Happy Halloween
^these are the additions I want on my posts. Take notes people
august is upon us which means it’s officially halloween time. please start posting your spooky cats again
43 freshmen, 36 desks.
Happy Hunger Games!
I’ve had this blog since the very beginning of my teaching career (2012). That is wild. Had I been better at documenting rather than shitposting (there are some good posts here), I could’ve turned this into a book.