SPENDING TIME

SPINNING OUT TOWARD

A DESIRE THAT WASN’T PURE

BORN BEFORE THE VIRUS WAS CURED

PITCH PERFECT

VIOLINS ON THE FLOOR

FAST FORWARD LININGS ON MY SKULL

TYPE OF DESIGN I COULD AFFORD

FAST FORWARD BANDS OUT

GOT THEY HANDS OUT

LIKE THEY’RE ACKNOWLEDGING THE FÜHRER

REWIND NAS TRACK 6

REWIND DANCE CRAZES

READ MY MIND

FREED MY MIND

FEED MY MIND

MAKES SENSE

JUST LIKE MIRRORS ON THE WALL

JUST LIKE SITTING ON ME

RAW IN MIRRORS SEEN IT ALL

COULD MAKE TWO

A PIECE OF MIND

FLICKING ASH

POURING A HALF

DONT POUR IN A GLASS

POUR IT IN FOAM

THAT’S WHITE LIKE EGGSHELLS IN MY OMELETTE

MY EARLOBES ARE YELLOW LIKE THE YOLK IS RUNNING

MY BRAINS ON DRUGS

I STILL HAVE NO PEACE OF MIND

FUCK

WOOF WOOF DOGS IN THE PLACE

LOOSE TOOTH LOST IN THE FRAY

ROOF LOST IN THE WRAITH

ROOF LOST ON THE WAY

FREEWAY

NO ROZAY

BRUTE FORCE

BRUT CHAMPAGNE

TELL THE FRONT DESK TO CUT NEW KEYS

RESERVED IN THE MERCER FOR TWO YEARS

IN TWO SUITES

TOOK OUT THE BED LIKE ITS FUCK SLEEP

ILL SMACK A BITCH LIKE ITS HOT HANDS

FIRED THE LABEL LIKE FUCK BRANDS

COMFORTABLE LOW NIGGA FUCK XANS

COMFORTABLE SLOW WHO THE FUCK RAN

NOTHING IS SWEET

NOTHING IN TANK SWEET

ITS JUST A TANK P

SALT ON A SLUG

SODA ON SLUGGED TEETH

CHEWING ON NOTHING

UR TWEAKING OR SOMETHING

UR SPEAKING SPEAK UP THEN

UR THINKING UR OVERTHINKING

ONE BLINK AND IM PRECUMMING

THAT COULD TURN EVERY NO ONE

INTO SOMEONE

wow the new jurassic world looks so good

when I go to the movie theatre

waits patiently for 2015 upload

2015

Happy new year 2016

Happy new year 2017 

And now, we wait

BITCH YOU THOUGHT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSs

Two churches located across the street from each other.

blua:

the CIA dumped 300gb+ of files from Osama Bin Laden’s computer and holy shit what the fuck

it wasn’t US Special Forces that killed Bin Laden, it was Nintendo killing him for pirating their games

THE LAST THING BIN LADEN SAW

THIS IS SO SCARILY ACCURATE

Online friends are real friends (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

my chinese teacher once shared this story in class about someone who went to the grocery to buy chicken, but they forgot the english word for it, so they grabbed an egg, went to the nearest sales lady and said “where’s the mother”

When I was a teenager, we went to Italy for the summer holidays. We are German, neither of us speaks more than a few words of Italian. That didn’t keep my family from always referring to me when they wanted something translated because “You’re so good with languages and you took Latin”. (I told them a hundred times I couldn’t order ice cream in Latin, they ignored that.) Anyway, my dad really loved a certain cheese there, made from sheep’s milk. He knew the Italian word for ‘cheese’ – formaggio – and he knew how to say ‘please’. And he had already spotted a little shop that sold the cheese. He asked me what ‘sheep’ was in Italian, and of course, I had no idea. So he just shrugged and said “I’ll manage” and went into the shop. 5 mins later, he comes out with a little bag, obviously very pleased with himself. How did he manage it? He had gone in and said “'Baaaah’ formaggio, prego.”

I was done for the day.

This makes me feel better about every conversation I had in both Rome and Ghent.

I once lost my husband in the ruins of a French castle on a mountain, and trotted around looking for him in increasing desperation. “Have you seen my husband?” I asked some French people, having forgotten all descriptive words. “He is small, and English. His hair is the color of bread.”

I did not find my husband in this way.

In rural France it is apparently Known that one brings one’s own shopping bags to the grocery store. I was a visitor and had not been briefed and had no shopping bag. I saw that other people were able to conduct negotiations to purchase shopping bags, but I could not remember the word for “bag.”

“Can I have a box that is not a box,” I said.

The checkout lady looked extremely tired and said, “Un sac?” (A sack?)

Of course. A fucking sack. And so I did get a sack.

I once was at a German-American Church youth camp for two weeks and predictably, we spoke a whole lot of English. 

When I phoned my mom during week two I tried to tell her that it was a bit cold in the sleeping bag at night. I stumbled around the word in German because for the love of god, I could remember the Germwn word for sleeping bag.

“Yeah so, it’s like a bag you sleep in at night?”

“And my mother must probably have thought I lost my mind. She just sighed and was like ‘So, a Schlafsack, yes?”

Which is LITERALLY Sleeping sac … The German word is a basically a one on one translation of the English word and I just… I failed it. At my mother tongue. BIG

My former boss is Italian and she ended up working in a lab where the common language was English. She once saw an insect running through the lab and she went to tell her colleagues. She remembered it was the name of a famous English band so she barged in the office yelling there was a rolling stone in the lab…

I’m Spanish and have been living in the UK for a while now. I recently changed jobs and moved to a new office which is lost somewhere in the Midlands’ countryside. It’s a pretty quaint location, surrounded by forest on pretty much all sides, and with nice grounds… full of pheasants. I was pretty shocked when I drove in and saw a fucking pheasant strolling across the road. Calm as you please.

That afternoon I met up with some friends and was talking about the new job, and the new office, and for the life of me I couldn’t remember the English word for pheasants. So I basically ended up bragging to my friends about “the very fancy chickens” we had outside the office.

Best thing is, everyone understood what I meant.

I love those stories so much…

Picture a Jewish American girl whose grasp of the Hebrew language comes from 10+ years of immersion in Biblical and liturgical Hebrew, not the modern language. Some words are identical, while others have significantly evolved.

She gets to Israel and is riding a bus for the very first time.

American: כמה ממון זה? (”How much money?” but in rather archaic language)

Bus Driver: שתי זוזים. (”Two zuzim” – a currency that’s been out of circulation for millenia)

that’s hilarious

I am officially screamlaughing at my desk from that last one OH MY 

Does everyone know the prime minister who promised to fuck the country?

So in Biblical Hebrew the word for penis and weapon are the same. There is a verb meaning to arm, which modern Hebrew semanticly drifted into “fuck”: i.e. give someone your dick.

The minister was making a speech while a candidate, bemoning the state of the world. “The Soviet Union is fucking Egypt. Germany is fucking Syria. The Americans are fucking everyone. But who is fucking us? When I am prime minister, I will ensure we are fucked!”

What the hell Biblical Hebrew.

Just guessing: The path from something like “give someone a blade” to “give someone a blade, if you know what I mean ;)” is probably not that difficult or unlikely.

^Given that the Latin word for sheath (like, for a sword) is literally “vagina”, I can verify that this metaphor is a time-honored one. 

Oh yeah and one time my Latin professor was at this conference in Greece and his flight was canceled, so he needed to extend his hotel stay by one more night.

Except he doesn’t speak a lick of modern Greek, and the receptionist couldn’t speak English.  Or French.  Or German.  Or Italian.  (He tried all of them.)

Finally, in a fit of inspiration, he went upstairs and got his copy of Medea in the original Greek (you know, the stuff separated from modern Greek by two and a half thousand years).  He found the passage where Medea begs Jason to let her stay for one more day, went downstairs, and read it to the receptionist.

She laughed her head off, but she gave him the extra night.  

Reblogged just for Medea

when i was little my family went to denmark on holiday and since norwegian and danish are very similar we would just use norwegian but one morning my mom went to a bakery next to our room and asked if they had buns in norwegian only the word for bun in norwegian means fucked in danish so she asked the girl behind the counter if she had fucked 

Just last week I was in the grocery store with two friends, and was debating buying a smaller deodorant (I was about to go on a business trip with only a carry on and my deodorant is liquid and weirdly big), and my friend was like “why are you staring at the deodorants?”. Only I couldn’t remember how to say “take”, like “I’m deciding if I should get a small one so security won’t take it away”, so instead I told her I was worried security was gonna capture my deodorant, as if it were a medieval robber.

She had to walk away to collect herself and stop laughing.

hmmm