The Messenger Raven

Warning: discussion of minor character death/sickness, implied homophobia, please let me know if I should add anything here

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Karl's heart nearly beat out of his chest as he skid past the door to his room. The few seconds it took to get the door open felt like an eternity. His breath was ragged. His eyes blurred. Telling himself that this all had to be a dream did nothing. He'd hit his hip on a table in his rush to get away and the very real pain made denial an impossible venture.

He'd been free. He had been so free but now they had found him. How did they find him? They couldn't have- shouldn't have been able to find him in the middle of nowhere.

He wracked his brain for any mistakes or slip ups he'd made. His mind brought up a blank. It was impossible to tell if that meant he didn't make a mistake or if he just couldn't think over the never ending chant in his brain of "It's over".

Edit: Changed the day of the wedding from Friday to Wednesday because I forgot to double check my plans are realized I wouldn't have enough time in the story, time line wise, if it took place on Friday. :) Sorry for the confusion this may cause!

nowhere else

bad hedgehog

Bless her heart.

This seems reasonable and very kind to me. Definitely wish more people cared about the danger noodles.

FINALLY I have an excuse to share this gem of a video!

FINALLY I have

an excuse to share this gem

of a video!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

Round 2, Week 1: Match 27 of 32

Propaganda as submitted by YOU, in initial entries, tags, and reblogs:

Pushing Daisies:

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier:

Hi friends,

This is our new story FERTILE. We hope you enjoy it!

We’ve just released a new digital comic book, containing 3 new stories. Get it here: gum.co/lightsgoout

If you would like to support us creating more comics like this one, please consider buying a copy. However we know times are hard, so if you can’t, please download the book for free.

Thank you! Ehud and Yael

HECK

girl I would kill myself if I did that lol

reading harry potter actively makes you less literate

j why did you censor the name of the scottish play

I think doing that is way funnier than saying the Scottish play, and I’m not going to risk actually saying the name and having something bad happen

i just realized despite me making fun of you for saying m*cbeth, i refused to say it myself. i am fucked up

even I, the op, flinched while writing it in the notes 😔

do y’all only post from inside a theatre?

All the world's a stage, catgirlforeskin.

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER

Vote for Jon because I just finished the s4 finale of the magnus archives, and it broke me. I am literally taking like 5 days to recover before moving on to the next season.

Solar Lunacy

Chapter 16: The Week Before (Part 2)

Only a few days until the Daycare Attendant's full reinstatement. Management calls you into work on your off-day because the DCA was having issues with…something. Sun meets Gramps, and is starting to be a bit questionable. Literally. The rest of the week is exhausting, and you're running on fumes. You have a tense moment with Moon in the ballpit, a realization after a day of glitter glue with Sun, and realize something. You continue your research into the Fazbear Entertainment's history, unearthing cover-ups about missing children, fires, and a golden bonnie from way back in the franchise's retro days, and you spill your nightmares accidentally out into a tin-can-telephone to a friend on the other end who frequently appears within them.

Read Chapter Notes/Tags for Warnings. Wordcount: 16,752. Second half to the previously sliced chapter. Happy reading!

Solar Lunacy

Chapter 15: The Week Before (Part 1)

The first half of the week before the Daycare Attendant's reinstatement. You have a strange dream. Nothing to worry about. You are introduced to the kids, which goes as about as well as you thought it would. A comment is made that makes you question the Daycare Attendant's history with the previous assistants, something you'd like to learn more about but Sun is more interested in the bags under your eyes. The late-night practicing before the big day continues, and Moon is introduced to a new weapon of yours. Until Chica comes along, and you have the opportunity (and hope) to see a friendship come back from the grave. The relationship between the Daycare Attendant and the other animatronics will get better, and you'll help ease that along if you can. (Even if it means they team up to tease you.)

Freddy tells you about an old friend, Bonnie.

Notes: Contains Suggestive Humor. Word count: 11,418.

Sliced for digestible reading lengths. Part 2 should be updated soon after.

“Novice wizards are often warned against practicing their magic in corn fields - not to protect the crops, but because the crows are exceptionally fast learners.”

design comm for a scarecrow mage

design comm for a Desert Wizard (of Knives)

design comm for a deer mage (with cybernetics!)

design comm for a deep sea diver mage

design comm for a spider mage