Avatar

The cat chat

@thecatchat

Call me Criptic Kitty! welcome! Random rebloging of my intrests!!!

Hello, Welcome to TheCatChat

You can call me Criptic Kitty (she/her/they/them/he/him) or CK for short! You may also call me Crypto, Cypher, Cat, and Flower!

Asks are welcome here, but if you have any questions about the two AUs I have, please ask them to their respective blogs!

Karlnapity Dimensions AU, created with @inkytrinket-irii, you can find all of the posts on @karlnapitydimensions , Sapnap is a medieval knight, Quackity is a 1920s mobster, and Karl is an inter-dimensional being.

Karlnapity Superpower AU, found on @superpoweredkarlnapity , Quackity and Sapnap are Villains and Karl is a hero but they don't know each other have powers, angst and fluff ensues.

New AU @ksqwildwest , basically, if Karl was a normal person and death wasn't permanent in the wild west town.

The Messenger Raven

Warning: discussion of minor character death/sickness, implied homophobia, please let me know if I should add anything here

--------

Karl's heart nearly beat out of his chest as he skid past the door to his room. The few seconds it took to get the door open felt like an eternity. His breath was ragged. His eyes blurred. Telling himself that this all had to be a dream did nothing. He'd hit his hip on a table in his rush to get away and the very real pain made denial an impossible venture.

He'd been free. He had been so free but now they had found him. How did they find him? They couldn't have- shouldn't have been able to find him in the middle of nowhere.

He wracked his brain for any mistakes or slip ups he'd made. His mind brought up a blank. It was impossible to tell if that meant he didn't make a mistake or if he just couldn't think over the never ending chant in his brain of "It's over".

Edit: Changed the day of the wedding from Friday to Wednesday because I forgot to double check my plans are realized I wouldn't have enough time in the story, time line wise, if it took place on Friday. :) Sorry for the confusion this may cause!

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file

Since this post blew up and people have asked for this villain’s record, here are some of Stinky Bastard Man’s more heinous crimes:

  • Screamed so loudly with such unbridled fury the one time he wasn’t sedated at the vet that he caused a little girl in the waiting room to burst into tears
  • Ripped an escape hole in the patio screen door in a single night
  • Snuck into the garage overnight where he managed to pull down his massive food bag from the top shelves, ripped it open and ate so much he couldn’t/wouldn’t move when we found him in the morning  
  • Learned how to open the laundry cabinet to sleep on the clean towels
  • Learned how to open doors, thus allowing the dog to follow in after who then eats from the trash
  • Bats off anything on our windowsills that gets in the way of his sitting. Current succulent casualty count: 4
  • Thankfully cannot open the bedroom door due to rusty mechanisms, but managed to slip in one night when it wasn’t fully closed. Jumped down from my windowsill squarely onto my stomach, leaving me to bolt awake screaming from the blow and convinced I was under attack
  • Tricked me into loving him forever anyway

Ripped an escape hole

in the patio screen door

in a single night

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Avatar

oh my god he’s THIS Stinky Bastard Man!!!!

the stinky bastard man, the stinky bastard myth, the stinky bastard legend

Round 2, Week 1: Match 27 of 32

Propaganda as submitted by YOU, in initial entries, tags, and reblogs:

Pushing Daisies:

  • "I will never forgive the people who canceled this show. They have my undying hatred. Everyday I miss Emerson Cod, Ned the Piemaker and Chuck. They canceled it just when they were getting really deep into the mysteries as well."
  • "Incredibly clever writing, gorgeous set and costume design"
  • "Pushing daisies is the best show of all time and maybe not tumblrs fav but it could be if everyone watched it, also one of the casualties from the last big writer strike which is relevant now. Idk how to articulate it so anyway yeah this is the best show and stays that way even if it got cut short"
  • "THERES A REASON EVERY FANDOM HAS A PUSHING DAISIES AU!!!"
  • "you want pining? the two leads can never touch because he brought her back to life and touching her again would reverse that permanently, now THATS pining. They kissed through cellophane!!!! he bakes pies!!!!"

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier:

  • "i liked TFATWS, it def wasn't a perfect show but all the white mcu stans trashed it to hell and back so doing this for them <3"
Avatar

Hi friends,

This is our new story FERTILE. We hope you enjoy it!

We’ve just released a new digital comic book, containing 3 new stories. Get it here: gum.co/lightsgoout

If you would like to support us creating more comics like this one, please consider buying a copy. However we know times are hard, so if you can’t, please download the book for free.

Thank you! Ehud and Yael

HECK

Avatar

girl I would kill myself if I did that lol

reading harry potter actively makes you less literate

j why did you censor the name of the scottish play

I think doing that is way funnier than saying the Scottish play, and I’m not going to risk actually saying the name and having something bad happen

i just realized despite me making fun of you for saying m*cbeth, i refused to say it myself. i am fucked up

Avatar

even I, the op, flinched while writing it in the notes 😔

Avatar

do y’all only post from inside a theatre?

Avatar

All the world's a stage, catgirlforeskin.

Avatar

Solar Lunacy

Chapter 16: The Week Before (Part 2)

Only a few days until the Daycare Attendant's full reinstatement. Management calls you into work on your off-day because the DCA was having issues with…something. Sun meets Gramps, and is starting to be a bit questionable. Literally. The rest of the week is exhausting, and you're running on fumes. You have a tense moment with Moon in the ballpit, a realization after a day of glitter glue with Sun, and realize something. You continue your research into the Fazbear Entertainment's history, unearthing cover-ups about missing children, fires, and a golden bonnie from way back in the franchise's retro days, and you spill your nightmares accidentally out into a tin-can-telephone to a friend on the other end who frequently appears within them.

Read Chapter Notes/Tags for Warnings. Wordcount: 16,752. Second half to the previously sliced chapter. Happy reading!

Avatar

Solar Lunacy

Chapter 15: The Week Before (Part 1)

The first half of the week before the Daycare Attendant's reinstatement. You have a strange dream. Nothing to worry about. You are introduced to the kids, which goes as about as well as you thought it would. A comment is made that makes you question the Daycare Attendant's history with the previous assistants, something you'd like to learn more about but Sun is more interested in the bags under your eyes. The late-night practicing before the big day continues, and Moon is introduced to a new weapon of yours. Until Chica comes along, and you have the opportunity (and hope) to see a friendship come back from the grave. The relationship between the Daycare Attendant and the other animatronics will get better, and you'll help ease that along if you can. (Even if it means they team up to tease you.)

Freddy tells you about an old friend, Bonnie.

Notes: Contains Suggestive Humor. Word count: 11,418.

Sliced for digestible reading lengths. Part 2 should be updated soon after.

“Novice wizards are often warned against practicing their magic in corn fields - not to protect the crops, but because the crows are exceptionally fast learners.”

design comm for a scarecrow mage