Tips for Starting your Fitness Journey

As someone who has been working out on and off since July of this year, I’ve learned a couple of things and I would like to share some tips I’ve learned along the way. I’ve done lots of research by watching and following fitness influencers on YouTube and Instagram, I’ve made lots of mistakes, but the most important thing is as long as you keep trying and staying consistent, that’s all that matters. DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a professional in the field of fitness or nutrition. I have simply gathered generic information from the internet and have followed advice from others who have helped me get to where I want to be. These tips are some I have learned for myself, as well as taking some advice from fitness influencers I have come across my journey.

1. Don’t expect quick results

If you make the decision to become more active and fit, good! However, I’ve noticed a lot of people who start a fitness plan generally quit after two weeks because they aren’t getting results fast enough for their standards and expectations. I’m here to tell you my friends, it all depends on your body type. Usually most people won’t start to see results until at least a month or 6 weeks of consistent exercise and healthy eating. For some, it might take two weeks to see a difference, where as others it might take 6 months. In this case, patience is a virtue. You’re not going to get 6-pack abs the morning after your first workout session; changing the body takes time.

2. Carbs are not the bad guy

There’s this whole stigma around carbs in saying that they’re bad for the body and that you should try to avoid them at all costs, this is not the case! Carbs give you energy, it’s usually best to have carbs before a workout. Now, in saying that, you shouldn’t be eating so much carbs. The rule of thumb when eating a meal is that it should be 50% veggies and fruits (healthy fats), 25% protein and 25% carbs. Those three are your main macros, you should be calculating your macros depending on your calorie intake and your weight in order to get the most accurate results whether that’s trying to lean out or bulk up. I will link a video here so you can watch it if you want to learn more about macros.

3. You can’t target fat loss

I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true; doing 500 crunches and a two-minute plank, will not give you abs. The key is to be consistently active for at least 15 minutes a day for 3-4 days a week as well as eating the proper nutrition; you know the saying “abs are made in the kitchen.” Switching up the routine is good for the body so you’re not doing the same exercises. For example, you could do cardio on Monday’s, full body shred on Tuesday’s, etc. and if you feel an exercise is too easy, intensify by adding some resistance bands or weights. Another thing to keep in mind, stomach fat is the hardest to get rid of, so don’t get discouraged.

4. Don’t compare your body to someone else’s

I’m very guilty of this, in the beginning of my journey, I would be following fitness influencers for the wrong reasons. Instead of following their guidelines for MY body, I would just copy what they’re doing and what they’re eating so I could look shredded like them, but like I said before, everyone is different. Someone could love weightlifting and someone else could not. I like cardio, someone could hate it. Listen to your own body and don’t compare your body to someone else’s. It’s certainly not healthy for your mental state if you just “wish” for your body to look like a certain fitness influencer. You don’t know what they’re doing to their photos, they could be photoshopping or face-tuning their photos. Focus on you and don’t compare to unrealistic pictures, or any body except your own.

5. Don’t care what other people think

People are going to have their opinions of you. Some will support you and some will attempt to put you down and say your goals are unreachable. But, the only person who can tell you that is yourself. Let the haters be your motivation and prove them wrong. Do your daily workout routines, stick to a healthy meal plan and focus on your goals and not anyone else’s. Your future self will thank you, and who knows? Maybe you’ll inspire someone.

6. Don’t be so hard on yourself

I’ve heard the same story about people punishing themselves of going to the gym and doing sprints on the treadmill or biking for hours just because they ate one burger at McDonald’s or they took an extra day off. Listen, it’s not the end of the world if you ate something unhealthy or took another rest day. It only becomes a problem if you make a routine out of it, but one day is not going to “erase” your progress. This is when most people quit their fitness journey’s because they think if they make one mistake, they can’t fix it or they won’t make any progress. But, if you keep being consistent, one burger and fries is not going to kill you. You’re going to mess up, and that’s okay.

7. Numbers don’t matter

One thing I’ve learned during my journey is that my body and weight fluctuate, it’s never the same numbers. Sometimes I wake up and I’m a string bean, other mornings I feel bloated like a balloon, especially when the red sea comes. Your weight isn’t just fat, it’s water weight and muscle mass and a bunch of other stuff that goes on inside that temple of yours. So, my advice would be to throw away the scale, and focus on your mental and physical health.

8. Food is to be enjoyed, but not too much

Rule of thumb is that you eat healthy foods 80% of the time and 20% you can eat whatever you want. The reason why this is the best tactic is because if you restrict yourself to just eating healthy for 100% of the time, your willpower is going to be drained and soon enough you’ll get tired of the same healthy foods and will want to binge. The 20% allows you to indulge on whatever you want but also keep in mind of portion control and don’t binge on the weekends.

9. Your mindset matters

What are you doing this for? What is your “why”? Why are you doing this and who are you doing it for? That last answer better be for you, don’t ever change your body for someone else. You should be working out because it’s a celebration for what your body can do, not a punishment for what you ate or because you took another rest day. Be kind to yourself, but also know when to push yourself. Balance is key, eat greens when your body needs it and dessert when your heart wants it. Take an extra day off if you’re feeling extra sore or a little under the weather, but push yourself to work out when you don’t want to. No one is going to change your body for you. Like nike says, just do it.

10. You’re beautiful 

Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You don’t need to be skinny to be beautiful, the way you are built now, is absolutely stunning and amazing. Please remind yourself this everyday :)

Thank you for taking the time to read this, have a great day and be safe.

Write again soon!

-B

Maladaptive Daydreaming

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a professional psychiatrist, therapist, doctor, or anything in between, this is my personal experience that I will be sharing for informational purposes and awareness. Also, keep in mind that anyone who leaves negative comments will be blocked :)

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Ever since I was a kid, my head was always in the clouds. Everyone in my family had always said I had a great imagination and that I was more on the creative side than the logical. It made sense, considering math or science weren’t my strongest points. But, english, drama, art and sports always came to me naturally in school.

However, as I got older, I was always so invested in books, movies, and listening to music. I would always daydream, even when I was a kid, I would be reading books, watching movies, listening to music and playing outside. Creating fantasy scenarios in my head all the time. I was always a daydreamer, but it has gotten worse over the years.

It continued on in high school, sometimes I would catch myself in a daze, playing out a movie scene in my head for almost hours on end and creating fictional characters and plots…yeah it was bad. The funny thing was I got good grades in school and focused on my work well, but I was often daydreaming a lot when I was mindlessly doing something that didn’t require a lot of my attention, like showering, washing dishes or even eating at the dinner table. Until I started realizing just how much I was daydreaming, I decided to google and research.

After hours of researching, I found out a condition called “maladaptive daydreaming” that seemed to resonate with my situation. Some of the symptoms include: extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots triggered by real-life events, difficulty completing everyday tasks, difficulty sleeping at night, an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming, performing repetitive movements, making facial expressions, whispering and talking while daydreaming and daydreaming for lengthy periods of time.

As I was reading the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming, I checked almost all of them off and a light went off in my brain. Now, this isn’t exactly known as a disorder nor a condition, in fact, daydreaming is a normal habit and it’s harmless, and this is a really cool ability to have.  However this can get in the way of your everyday activities and can take away a lot of your precious time. Too much of anything is bad for you and in this instance, daydreaming was my addiction. On the bright side, there is a very fine line between mental disorders such as schizophrenia and maladaptive daydreaming. The difference is maladaptive daydreamers KNOW that their daydreaming; they know the difference between fantasy and reality. It’s just a waste of time and can lead to other mental disorders such as ADHD, depression/anxiety and OCD. Coming to this realization, I had to get it under control.  

It took me a long time to manage it because I had been doing it without even realizing it. Once I noticed how much I was doing it, it really opened my eyes to do better and focus on myself and my life. It wasn’t easy, on occasion I daydream more than I’d like to and it’s hard to get it under control. However, the more I became aware, the easier it is to control it. The key is to be consistent. Do not give in to temporary temptations because it will not create permanent solutions.

So, how did I manage it?

Well, for starters, I took in the importance of the present moment. I noticed that whenever I caught myself daydreaming, it meant that I was bored in the current moment I was in. So, my mind would start to wander off and create exciting scenarios in my head that weren’t beneficial for my real life. So, I really started to focus on the present moment at hand by engaging in my tasks and with the people around me. I started to take up more hobbies and really try to be mindful about them. And, anytime I caught my mind wandering off, I would bring myself back to the present. It became hard at first, but once I started catching myself more and more, the daydreaming got a lot easier to manage.  

The second thing I did was meditation. When I wake up first thing in the morning and before I go to bed, I would meditate. As a maladaptive daydreamer, it was really hard for me to get out of bed and start my day, as well as fall asleep at night because my mind was so active in creating daydreams. Once I started meditating, it really helped to set the intention for the day, as well I was teaching my mind to not wander off as much and to try and stay present.

The third thing I did was I set myself a time during the day where I can daydream but only for a certain amount of time. Trying to get rid of a habit completely is extremely difficult, so I decided to take it nice and slow. For example, if I got up in the morning, I would take the time to maybe daydream in the shower. I set myself a time limit of 20 minutes maximum per day, so once I reach that time, I snap out of my trance and finish any tasks I need to get done for the day. This really helped me to stop daydreaming for excessive amounts of time. I went from daydreaming for hours to not even a half an hour per day because I was strengthening my mind and learning self-control.

I was triggered by a lot of real-life events that “added on” to my daydreams. Music, movies, tv shows and books all triggered this habit. So it’s very hard for me to combat this when I’m reading a really good book or listening to music in the car.  As well, it doesn’t help that I also dream at night, then I daydream about the dream I had the night before…it was really hard to manage this behaviour for me. My mind would not give me a break. However, the important thing to remember is: as long as you have the willpower to bring yourself back to the present moment and realize your mind is wandering, you’re already doing a great job and taking the first step to control yourself.  

Also, it’s not a bad thing to daydream. Everyone does it, but it’s only an issue if it starts to effect your life. If you’re lacking in school or work, or you’re isolating yourself from friends and family to daydream, or you’re manifesting negative emotions due to these daydreams you’re creating, it could effect yourself and those close to you.  

You can find more information on maladaptive daydreaming here. I know this isn’t a very common condition, but it is getting more recognized. Hopefully this article can bring awareness to those who are maladaptive daydreamers and don’t know it yet. If you happen to be a maladaptive daydreamer reading this, I hope this found you well and these tips have helped! Remember, it always gets better, but only if you work for it, just like I did.

Write again soon :)

-B

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

So, since it’s almost breast cancer awareness month, I thought I would share my story on how I found a lump in my left breast and how petrifying the experience was. This is my own personal experience and it really opened my eyes on how we should be grateful for the people we have in our lives and this life you have been gifted with. Also, I hope this will help persuade younger women to get their breasts examined, better to be safe than sorry. Enjoy!

It started just at the end of last month, in August, I was lying in bed and playing with my boobs, you know squeezing them and just touching them (yes, girls do this too, it’s not just boys who think boobs are like squishy stress balls.) Until all of a sudden, I felt this grape-sized fleshy lump on my left boob. Knowing me, I immediately start to freak out, I start googling breast cancer symptoms, what the difference was between a tumour and a cyst, if it was fatty tissue, etc. Big mistake.

I made my mom and Jon feel for it, they couldn’t feel anything, so I just thought maybe I was going crazy. But, I was obsessing over it at this point, I was constantly examining myself in the mirror, looking for any warning signs, such as nipple discharge, abnormal moles, or swelling of the breasts.

Jon kept having to calm me down and reminding me not to freak myself out because that will not serve me in any way, also it will make me feel worse. However, being the most supportive boyfriend, he drove me to the doctor. Because even though the chances of me having breast cancer were slim, ALWAYS GET IT CHECKED OUT.

So, I went to the walk-in clinic, and the doctor asked me some questions, when my last period was, when my next one starts, when I found the lump, if I have family history of cysts, etc. Then she put gloves on and felt around my boob for the lump. She said that it was probably just a cyst or fatty tissue (which are very common in young adult women, just fyi) but, she wanted me to book an ultrasound just to be safe.

After the visit, I call to get an ultrasound booked, and I had to wait ONE MONTH because of COVID, so I had a bit of a wait.

This was the part where I kept having to tell myself affirmations that everything was going to work out fine and that I shouldn’t worry about things I can’t control. So for the rest of August and most of September, I was trying to forget about this lump in my chest. I would say I did pretty well, considering I didn’t start freaking out again the day before my ultrasound.

The day of my ultrasound, of course, I was a little frantic. I registered and then I sat down and had about a 10 minute wait. The technician called my name and instructed me to dress into a gown and meet her in the room. Once I changed, I went into the room and lied down with my boob hanging out. Normally, I would be self-conscious about having my bare boob out, but in this case I had way too much going in my mind. I was catastrophizing the worst situation possible. Luckily for me, the technician was doing a good job at keeping me calm and telling me not to worry as she has dealt with many of these lumps before. The ultrasound took 10 minutes and she told me the doctor will have my results in two days.

After the ultrasound I was taking it easy, trying not to worry and keeping an eye on my phone for the call. Surely the next day around 8 p.m. the receptionist calls and says that my results were in and that the doctor will go over them with me. I went in the next morning and surely enough the little bump was just some fatty tissue.

The doctor calls it fibroadenoma, or a “breast mouse,” which is a lump that is mobile, meaning you can move it around with your fingers and is usually harmless. They may swell a little more when you’re on your period or right before you start your period. This happens from an overgrowth of fibrous and glandular tissue in the breast. They’re around the size of a marble.

So, of course after finding out the lump was non-cancerous, I felt a massive relief wash over my body, leaving the doctors’ office feeling on top of the world and celebrating by going home and calling my mother and grandmother.

This was a really stressful time for me, so you can only imagine the anxiety. I’ve learned a few lessons from this. Firstly, always be grateful for this life you have, because you never know when it can be taken from you. As well, don’t stress yourself out over things you cannot control. Do NOT let yourself think of the worst possible outcome, that will only make yourself feel worse. Lastly, if you can help it, don’t google your symptoms. Dr. Google always screws you over and makes you feel like you’re dying; just don’t do it.

Thank you for reading my story. Please be sure you are self-examining yourself often and feel around for lumps occasionally, and it would be best to book a mammogram for yourself, better to be safe than sorry.

Write again soon :)

-B

Secrets to a Healthy Relationship

A little disclaimer, I am NOT an expert at these things. Even Jon and I have our own issues, but we work together to fix them. I’m simply sharing my own personal experience with my relationship and sharing what I think is most important and what I have learned. If you’re reading this article for advice, I would strongly suggest you seek professional help and not rely on just this article.

For those who know me personally, they know that I have been with my boyfriend, Jonathan, for just over four years. We started dating in the summer before our senior year; we’ve known each other since second grade. We’ve been best friends for a long time, but me being my oblivious self I was the ONLY person who didn’t know he had a crush on me.

Anyways, before I bore you with the details about the events leading up to us getting together, the main question I get is, “how have you guys stayed together for so long?” “Don’t you guys ever get bored?”

I have been asked questions like this a lot and truth be told, I have *some* idea, but I got together with this guy when I was 16 and he just turned 17. We had our first date on his birthday. We were young and stupid and had no idea what we were doing, nor did we expect this relationship to work out, we were just testing out the waters and having fun. And then all of a sudden, a year passed, then two, then three and then our fourth anniversary just passed and I’ve still been just as happy as I have when I first got together with him.

To describe our relationship, I would say some things stayed the same since we first got together and some things changed throughout the years.

For instance, we always put in the effort. Just because we’ve been together for so long, doesn’t mean we stop trying. An example of this would be going on dinner dates, watching a movie together, going on a drive or even just taking a simple nap in each other’s arms. We make time for each other. It’s easier now that we live together, but that doesn’t mean we’re both not busy. We have always been putting in the same amount of effort as we have been when we got together.

I find that the issue with modern couples nowadays, is that they stop trying after their “Honeymoon phase” is over. Honeymoon phase, where a relationship is brand new and fresh, you’re dating someone and they instantly give you butterflies and the relationship fills you up with excitement inside. I know that feeling well. But, after that phase is over, you’re faced with reality that relationships are hard work and not always fun. The main thing is you and your partner have to work together and make lots of commitments to each other. If you both can’t handle that, there’s a good chance it won’t work.

Another important thing is you have to give each other space. This was a hard one for myself and Jon, well, mostly me. Once we moved in together last year, I wanted to be with him all the time. I got super clingy, which I didn’t know why I was. When we weren’t moved in together, I was super independent, doing my own thing and would go over to his house if I had the time to. Then when we were living together, I guess the thrill of seeing him all the time just gave me the intention that I couldn’t get enough of him. So we had a conversation about it and he has explained to me that he needs space from time to time and so do I. Now, I completely understand why he got a little frustrated. Hell, I would be too. So spend time together, but also give each other space to do things you both individually enjoy. Even long-term couples need their space too.

Another thing, always communicate with your partner. ALWAYS. Without communication in a relationship, you won’t have much. You need to explain your feelings to one another, especially during arguments. Also, having arguments in a relationship is healthy, it gets out bottled-up feelings that you feel you need to get out with your partner. However, excessively fighting is a different story. I mean having arguments in healthy amounts. As well, during arguments it is always you and your partner against the problem, not you versus your partner. Communication doesn’t even begin with arguments, it can also be talking about what you like in the bedroom, or talking about your day at school/work. Just talk to your partner about anything you feel like you should get off your chest. If you feel like you can’t talk to your partner comfortably, that’s a problem.

So, those are just a few things I have learned throughout my years, probably the most important tips. But just remember that every relationship is different and the most important rule is to make each other happy. As long as you’re both happy in the relationship, that’s all that really matters. I hope you enjoyed this article!

Write again soon :)

-B

Facts About Me

I feel like I should share a couple of things about myself just to get more acquainted with people on this app, so here are some facts about me, some are a little crazy, some a little basic but you gotta start somewhere right? Enjoy :)

The Purpose of Life

What is the Purpose of Life?

Before I start this blog post, I would like to say a little disclaimer, if you are sensitive to this topic or are uncomfortable, I advise you to keep scrolling, the last thing I want is for someone to feel uncomfortable. This blog post talks mainly talks about what my purpose in life is, hopefully I can give someone an idea, in case they haven’t found their passions in life yet.

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Sometimes, you question life. I mean, who doesn’t? You’re just a speck living on this blue marble in the middle of an infinite universe that is always growing. To the rest of this world, you are microscopic and so small that your problems literally don’t matter. You may think that when you get fired from your job, or get your heartbroken that it’s the end of the world, but it’s not. You question a lot of things, but the main one being, “what the ?%*&% am I doing here?”

I’m here to tell you that life certainly does have a purpose, and so do you.

Let’s get one thing straight. Death is inevitable, one day you will die. The answer is unclear about how it will happen. It could be of old age, heart attack, stroke, or something accidental like a car crash. Maybe an illness will take over your body such as cancer. Another thing, two million years from now, no one will know that you even existed. Facing that is probably one of the toughest things to ever face. Not knowing what will happen after you leave this planet. We don’t know the unknown, and that can be scary for some people.

But, what I’ve gotten out of this and my 20 years of living, is that you have to make the best out of your life and live it to the fullest.

That answer seems pretty obvious and predictable, but please just bear with me here.

I believe I serve the world and that I’m a gift. I’m loved by many people; my family, friends, boyfriend and any dogs I come across on a walk. My purpose is that I want to experience as much as I can. I want to visit as many places as I can, meet many people around the world, become a writer/blogger and a life coach, helping people and spreading as much love and kindness as I can. If I can make a difference in the world by changing someone’s life, or making someone smile, then I will sleep with a smile on my face, knowing that I probably changed something for the better.

You have no idea how much of an impact you have on other people and this world. That stranger you complimented, was probably suffering with severe depression and for the first time in a while, they showed a real smile because of what you said. When you returned that wallet to that man who dropped it, he was probably broke and is currently working three jobs to support his family and the only money he had was inside that wallet. You make a huge difference in this world. You have no idea what you’re capable of, but you’re capable of a lot.

We may not know the meaning of life, hell I don’t know either. There is so much that I don’t know. But, why bother worrying about what the meaning of life is when you can just live it? Stop taking it so damn seriously. Kiss your partner in the rain, ask your crush out on a date, get your hair wet in the pool, smoke a joint, go on that trip with your friends, go out to dinner more often, hug your parents goodnight, have lots of sex, smile and cry as much as you can and don’t fake it. Cry with your friends when they’re upset, go on adventures, do things that make you happy and don’t ever let anyone tell you what to do, even me.

You don’t need to know all of the answers, you were put here for a reason. And don’t give me that sarcastic tone of “yeah… my parents” while that may be true, the universe has made you. The way you think, they way you talk, the things you learn, the things you love and hate; that is all you, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Life is beautiful, where there’s life, there’s hope.

Everything is a choice. Your life is what you make it to be.

So, what is your purpose?

Hey guys,

This is my first blog post, so please be kind :))

I’ve created this account where I can share my writing. I’ve always loved writing and have been told that I’m good at it. Hopefully we can be friends and that you enjoy what I write and that I can be of your entertainment!

A little disclaimer, if I come across any bullies or trolls, you will instantly be blocked. Whether that’s insulting my blog, or insulting my followers. I will certainly not tolerate any homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist people or anything else in between these terms. Anyone is welcome here and will be treated with respect and love, we are all in this together ❤️

So, a little bit about me! My name is Brittney, I’m 20 years old. My birthday is October 29, 1999. I’m desiring to be a writer (obviously) but I want to share my work so that I can be of service to those need a good laugh or who are struggling with something in their personal lives. Hopefully my posts can be helpful in some way. I love dogs, I’m not a big fan of cats, however I still love their little toe beans 🐱. My favourite food is potato salad and I hate pickles with a passion. I’m an open book, however I will not open up to you right away when I first meet you. First impressions are EVERYTHING to me. Lastly, I have titanium bars screwed into my spine. I suffered with severe scoliosis as a preteen and when I turned 15, I was in the hospital recovering from a major surgery on my back. I’m fully recovered now, and I’m part cyborg which is pretty awesome in my books. I’m a huge family-orientated person and I have a boyfriend of just over 4 years, whom I love very much.

Anyways, that’s all for now. I hope you enjoyed my first blog post and hope to have gained many friends along the way! Write again soon x

-B