A snail

💀🐴SKELTON PAINTED HORSES🐴💀

Oh fuck, are those friesians?

GLOW IN THE DARK????

*baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws*

Reblog to bap the person you reblogged from with your paws

This post is funny because every day for the past year I get at least a few back and forth tag chains in my notifs that are people roleplaying elaborate paw based battles and you can tell that 90 percent of the time it is thinly veiled flirting.

UNHAND ME

literally nothing funnier than a newly born aquatic mammal realizing they've been cursed to live in water

Wet beast

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

I fucking love him

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

He also jabs racists in the eye!

I love the justice grandpa of fists

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

I have a new role model

“justice grandpa of fists”

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

we need him more than ever…

sorry to make a long post longer but I feel like we could all really use some Everett True Beating Up Anti-Maskers content: 

He’s a hero, our Everett.

Just found out there were live action Everett True shorts (silent films, though, so the outbursts were largely body language)

Reblogging to always have it to hand. :)

you WISH you were eating sweet mulberries from a stranger’s overgrown tree at twilight in a silent neighborhood

Hey Op, are you the whitetail doe who sneaks into my back yard at night to eat mullberries? If so, you're my favorite urban wildlife neighbor.

i'm being doxxed

last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.

Was gonna ask my mom to rate my fit and she didn't even give me a chance

Don't think we're coming back from this one lads

Evil Baby 😈

English added by me :)

Shout out to the best joke I’ve ever told, WWDITS style.

(His name is Timothy)

The sound of it hitting the bookcase should be bottled for easy laughter.

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD

i have no defense against this. you've got me

the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

Let’s not forget that “Jack of all trades, master of none” ends with “But better than a master of one.”

It means that being equally good/average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don’t worry if you’re not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better!

These made me feel better

Also, “great minds think alike” ends with “but fools rarely differ”

It goes to show that conformity isn’t always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.

what the fuck why haven’t i heard the full version to any of these 

“Birds of a feather flock together” ends with “until the cat comes.”

It’s actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how complementary people are.

I’ve always felt like these were cut down on purpose.

I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge.

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I want to make designs out of these.

Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like…living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.

i learnt the great minds think alike one years ago from this post and i started saying it and i’m not exaggerating when i say the amount of people i’ve indirectly thought the correct thing who are all amazed at it and some even continue to use it is really cool

@hellsite-hall-of-fame if you don’t have this already, then what are you doing?

dreepy attack!!!

the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

she Loves belly rubs now

DGFDSFGFGGFDFGFGGFRSFGFGGFDFGFGGF

wait hold on i just thought of something funny