Aundria

“I’ve always been a little too stubborn. Love has never been the exception when it comes to this, it’s been the rule. So when your darkness gets too thick, I’ll continue to pour stars into your night sky in hopes that your smile makes an appearance. If the time comes when my eyelids can’t be lowered without me seeing you behind them, and you’re no longer there when my eyes open again, I’ll still love you even then. My heart is funny that way, it never knows when to quit. It still talks about the people I’ve lost. It searches for them in crowds, books, and songs without a second thought. Maybe one day, I won’t be one of your shoulders to cry on. Maybe one day the rain will fall, and you won’t be here when the sun comes out again. I don’t have certainty, I never will. All I have is this messed up heart and those three words. You know, “I love you.” The words you say when nothing else feels right except the one who receives them. The words you say when your world is crumbling around you, and they are solid. The words you say when all of the others are caught in your throat. As long as you can say them back, I’ll be here. Even after you can’t, I’ll continue loving you, even if it hurts.”

“I am both worse and better than you thought.”

“Though I struggle with registering this as truth most days, I truly don’t think I’m asking for much when I ask to be loved. When my heart is too heavy for me to carry on my own, put your hands underneath mine and help me lift it. When my mind is too dark, direct me back to the light; smile at me, tell me we’ll get through this. When I’m breaking down, don’t just watch, help me find my pieces, help me salvage what’s left. Be present.”