I was cut off and nearly hit by a car with this bumper sticker
so not only is the Twilight Revival real but they are out there and will kill u

I was cut off and nearly hit by a car with this bumper sticker
so not only is the Twilight Revival real but they are out there and will kill u
if you don’t drink
if you do drink
if you don’t smoke
if you smoke
if you wear crocs
1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?
Ask away
Okay, so I’m going to get really personal here, more than I’ve been willing to do on the internet, but apparently it’s necessary.
There’s a world of misinformation out there when it comes to PLEASING A WOMAN SEXUALLY.
There is a REASON lesbians do it better. Men are misinformed and I blame that largely on porn. Porn is not what sex looks like, especially not lesbian sex. You’d think everyone knew that, but men seem to base everything they know about pleasing a woman on what they see in the videos they’re so obsessed with watching.
I’m writing this because I think men deserve the chance to really please a woman and the only way they’re going to do that is if they’re given the right information and poor, poor straight women don’t even know how to BE properly pleased because they’ve been forced to be touched only by men who’ve learned their skills from porn.
Man, do I feel bad for you straight girls.
That’s right people, I’m gay.
But I have slept with men. And the difference is astounding.
So I’m here to help you straight people in understanding the real way to please a woman. To really satisfy a woman, you have to be an expert at foreplay.
First and foremost…
Holy crap!! How is that so WIDELY MISCONSTRUED?
If you look up foreplay tips, that’s all you hear about. Sure, you get, “Touch her all over, whisper in her ear, touch her boobies,” and that’s all well and good, but the main focus is, “ORAL, ORAL, ORAL.”
Let me tell you something. It is called ORAL SEX because IT IS A FORM OF SEX. Anything, I MEAN ANYTHING, that results in an orgasm is sex. Anything that is physical touching of the genitals is sex.
Foreplay is everything done to the body BEFORE THE GENITALS ARE TOUCHED. So that means, kissing, cuddling, caressing, whispering, licking, biting, etc.
Now, the problem isn’t that, it’s where and how these men do it. They don’t spend the right amount of time in ANY of the places they need to. They don’t take the time to really explore a woman’s body. I don’t know if it’s because they don’t want to or what, but, being a lesbian, all I want to do is explore a woman’s body. I want to hear every noise she makes from every spot I touch on her body.
Men, please stop GRABBING. Do not grab breasts, do not grab the ass, do not grab our shoulders. Gently caress them. Grab without constricting. Touch them. Glide your fingers across our skin. Women’s entire bodies are sexual. You can literally arouse a woman by touching any part of her body.
I will be as specific as possible.
Touching and kissing the breasts and nipples are amazing, but DO NOT GO THERE FIRST. The biggest problem I had with sleeping with men is this– it was always the same. The routine was exactly the same every time. I knew what was going to happen each time it started. First this, then that, then bam penetration.
No.
Women need diversity. We need to be surprised.
Women love to be admired– by eyes and by touching. Slowly undress her as you kiss and touch each spot that is exposed. Make love to her flesh with your lips, EVERYWHERE. Don’t just kiss and peck at her skin, don’t just smooch her neck and shoulders. No, deeply kiss them as if you were kissing her lips. Use your tongue. Run your tongue down the length of her limbs, the sounds she makes will tell you everything you need to know. If she doesn’t want a spot touched, trust me, you’ll know it. But if she LIKES it, you’ll definitely know it and that means, KEEP DOING THAT. Do it some more. Tease her by moving elsewhere and doing the same thing, then move back to that spot that tantalized her so.
Don’t know where to kiss, lick, suck, and bite?
I’ll give you a run down.
Ears, ear LOBES (women love to have them lightly nibbled– that said, some might not, everyone is different, but TRY), neck (front, side, back), the spine (lick/caress from neck down, you’ll give her shivers of delight), the collarbone (mmm, one of my favorites), shoulders, inner elbow, inner wrist, sternum, nipples, the WHOLE breast (this means the sides, under boob, lick it, suck it, nibble it, listen to which way drives her the most crazy), rib cage (lick the bottom lining of the rib cage, lightly teeth it!), side of the rib cage, stomach (I cannot tell you enough to use your tongue! Lick around the belly button in circles, lick down to her pubic hair, kiss/nibble back up to the belly), PELVIC BONES (lick em! bite em!), hips, back of the hips, thighs especially the inner thigh (the closer you get to her vag, the more she’ll go crazy with need), back of the thigh, side of the thigh, back of knees, back of calves, ankles (back, side), under the butt, on top of the butt where it meets the spine.
As you kiss everywhere, trail your fingers LIGHTLY across her skin in all these places. Do circles, do curves, follow the curves and bones of her body, find some interesting freckles? Follow them in the pattern they create with your fingers, tongue, or lips.
Move the woman’s body. Lift limbs to access places you haven’t tried yet. Lift up her legs to kiss/lick down the back of her calf to her knee, to her thigh. Leave hickies! Unless she doesn’t want you to, so always ask!
Flip her over just to kiss from the back of her neck down the length of her spin. Caress her as you do this. Spank her. If you grab, do so GENTLY, not like you’re squeezing her to death. Women’s bodies respond to sensual and gentle touching. Wrap her legs around your head as you leave hickies on her thighs and gently graze her clit as you “mmmm,” you’ll leave her breathless.
Do not, DO NOT, touch her clit until you have her screaming from all the foreplay. Even if she is dripping wet before you’ve spent ten minutes on foreplay, do not enter! Tease her, make her BEG for you to enter her. She’ll either beg verbally, with words or whimpers, or she’ll beg with her eyes and hands. A woman will let you know when she is ready to be entered.
Do not enter until you know for sure she is begging for it.
When you’re kissing/licking her collarbone to her shoulder, run a hand along her rip cage, stomach, or thighs. Touch her whole body at once. If you’re kissing her thighs, tease a nipple or run your fingers along her collarbone or jaw. Did I mention the jaw? Oh yeah. Definitely spend time there. Kiss it, nibble it, lick it, run your fingers across it. Grab her face when you kiss her. Thread your fingers in her hair. Do all of this, at all times.
You’ll have a fully satisfied woman after. I promise you.
Every time.
Hope that helped.
:]
I Wanna Be Yours // Arctic Monkeys
// frankie
i think its dumb if drug dealers get sentenced to longer in prison than rapists?? like people ask for drugs but no one asks for rape???
Reblogging for the 1 million time because fucking realest thing I’ve read on tumblr.