Took a wrong turn somewhere
i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch
an important addition
creacher
if you try looking for a post using the tumblr search function it will never show up. but you know what will? a reader x character fic
heartbreaking: local thing has to leave the house even though it is so tired and sleepy and full of joint pain
these are all the same sort of animal. do you understand.
these are all small skittish creatures that love to bite and are found in drawers of garages and classrooms. they’re all related and in the same small biter family. weird little kids who play with them while they’re distracted and have empathy for them can tame them and become these beasts companions
Thank the Lord someone understands
everyday i wake up and i go “god i’m so tired. i can’t do this anymore.” and then i get up and i continue to do it
obviously im of the belief that labelling food abd the ingredients it contains as clearly as possible is really good practice, and i highly approve of it
but the specific sense of comedy thats invoked in you when you look at a dish that is almost entirely a certain ingredient and theres a little sign next to it that reads “THIS ITEM CONTAINS [INGREDIENT]” is something that cannot be ignored
little sign next to a tray of salmon fillets: THIS ITEM CONTAINS FISH
me, under my breath: yeah brother i sure hope it does
DRY ROASTED UNSALTED PEANUTS.
INGREDIENTS: PEANUTS.
CONTAINS: PEANUTS.
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT IS PROCESSED IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES PEANUTS.
in the opposite direction is when you have no reason to believe x food would contain y and there’s a big thing saying “this item contains no y” like
don’t like it when people say you can’t have potatoes in ur fantasy novel without detailed explanation. who gives a fuck
“ohh in europe they didnt have those until” well its not europe is it. its middle earth its earthsea its some country somebody made up
“have detailed knowledge of your dragon’s anatomy and a foolproof scientifically backed explanation of how he can fly” he can fly because he’s a dragon. and because i love him
When I die I wanna be resurrected as the crab in the bucket of crabs that pulls the other crabs back into the bucket. And I'll love doing it
if i could die i would wanna be resurrected as a crab strong enough to pull your crabsona out of the bucket. and then where would you be
...
Fellas, is it gay to get down on one knee, ask for another man's hand, and give him a ring as proof of your vow?
best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say
sometimes the subject of your thoughts is just in this thing
the problem with horror now is there is no men in little tank tops and booty shorts
