The Marshmallow Nymph

No snare may hold me / Spring postcard 2023 Surviving so much abuse in my life, I relate to the unicorn tapestries through being a different beast held captive by unkind hands. My full beauty must be allowed to be open and wild, and no snare, fence, or rein may hold me for long. This design is available as a gold foil postcard with matching vinyl sticker for those who sign up for my mail tier during March 2023. PATREON

everyone check out my new ya fantasy novel called a court of blood, bone, ash, roses, thorns, fire, ice, stone, ravens, enemies to lovers, fake dating, two number 9s, a number 5 large, and an extra large fries

Si hacen remake de los Vengadores ya tienen sustituto para Ojo de Halcón.

I was working on something about fallen angels being exiled to the mortal world and immediately drowning in all the little details of being alive, which could have had an existential tone, except that I had the thought “and one of them is breathtakingly horny about it” so now it’s a comedy

the problem wasn’t that they did anything wrong, but that too much contact with humans erodes an angel’s objectivity. they were all record keepers, which has gotten more and more complicated the more humans there are, meaning they were spending ALL their time working and basically burnt out. they started developing personalities and nope, enough of that, out you go

their personalities as angels were barely more than quirks in old machinery, but those little hints of individuality IMMEDIATELY exploded into being people the moment they became mortal.

The horny one kept records of every instance of humans killing each other, and worked closely with the angel who kept records of the motives— they consider themselves siblings once they’re put into a human context. They call each other Motive and Murder for a while, until Murder decides “Cain” fits. Motive solemnly refuses to go by Abel because you are not bringing that energy into our relationship oh idiot brother of mine and eventually everyone just starts calling them Mo.

Cain is so used to cataloguing pain that the discovery that you can be just as creative with pleasure blew his damn mind, his big thing is sex but he’s also into incredibly indulgent food, massage, and scented oils. He’s got a weird relationship with music because the music HE thinks is pleasurable is a little. unexpected.

Mo, on the complete opposite of the scale, absolutely HATES this mortal shit. They aren’t supposed to be a living thing, why the hell would they play at reproduction?? No, Cain, I don’t care if it feels good, that isn’t the point—

“the one who is determined to use every nerve ending in pursuit of pleasure” and “the one who is thoroughly horrified by the fact they have saliva and blood, never mind that they need to use the bathroom now, who authorized bodies to be LIKE THIS” being siblings is going to be a riot, the rest of the angels are going to be done with them by like week 2

I put it in a separate post but for the sake of organization:

—the angels are mostly human now and don’t really have much by way of special powers

—they DO have imprints of their original bodies, though, which are sometimes barely noticeable and sometimes VERY noticeable

—said original bodies are much closer to ‘totally incomprehensible do not be afraid’ monstrosities rather than ‘pretty guy with wings’

—Cain’s imprint is bands and loops of color ‘tattooed’ onto his limbs and especially his hands, which are fine as flat designs but would be physically impossible in three dimensions

—Mo has six eyes, two normal ones on their face and then 2 sets down their throat. they wear a scarf in public.

Other character concepts:

—an angel who is trying to get their mortal life as close to being a record keeping angel as possible, an obsession which is very unsettling because they remember A LOT of their records and they were monitoring population (their name is Noah)

—an angel that gets really REALLY invested in a small group of humans that become her friends and baffles the hell out of the others by treating their low risk romantic and work troubles as equivalent of everything they’ve seen over the past thousands of years

—terrified angel that is handling the new inevitability of some kind of death and pain very very poorly even though they’re ANGELS and none of the others are fretting over mortality at all

OKAY, quick character profiles and names:

Cain— he/they, kept records of numbers and methods of murders, named himself after the story of the “first murderer”, nearly immediately fixates on pleasure and sex and becomes the romantic white whale of a few dozen people

Motive/Mo— they/them, kept records of motives behind murders, name is self-evident, incredibly grossed out by the sticky realities of mortality but doing their best to keep the rest out of trouble

Noah— they/them, kept general records of births and deaths, named themselves after the whole Noah’s Ark deal, still trying to do their job and keeps having to be rescued from the police because they locked themselves into the morgue again

Cherub/Cherry— she/they, kept records of disease mortality and survival, just introduced herself as ‘a cherub’ and it stuck, gets adopted by a human friend group and generally prioritizes them over her cousins

Fallen— he/they, kept records of fatal accidents and determined if someone was at fault enough to turn them over to Cain and Mo, leaned a little too hard into the fallen angel thing and made a name of it, absolutely TERRIFIED of death and injury

And angelic form remnants:

Cain— impossible geometry “tattoos” in a rainbow of colors on his limbs and hands, with one incredibly intricate gold and black one around his neck like a halo of circuitry

Mo— two sets of additional eyes on their throat, all six eyes are different colors (blue and brown on their face, green and hazel for the top set on their throat, and yellow and red for the bottom-most set)

Noah— the only one with wings, which are paper-thin and translucent like a dragonfly, they seem capable of infinite expansion but can’t get Noah into the air

Cherry— holy light, she looks exactly the same in any level or color of lighting and can be seen clearly in the dark even though she doesn’t radiate any light

Fallen— the dangerous one, Fallen has no physical differences from a human but kept their ability to give mortals holy commands, which fully override free will

I’ve decided to limit myself to one romance (half the city treating Cain as their manic pixie dream girl doesn’t count) and it is Noah falling in love with a middle aged hospital janitor

this is going around again hello

My first novel! Choosing the most difficult idea I could think of for an inaugural project, I attempted to combine high scifi and magical fantasy in a way that let both genres shine. All too often when genres mix one side is overwhelmed by the other, and none more so than when magic and science meet. Here, I tried to keep it balanced while also telling a story that involves:

-technology that would make Star Trek blush

-multiple types of magic with unique underpinnings

-philosophical discussions about morality with actual gods

-demon bears

-a genderqueer posthuman

-a non-sapient but very catty AI

-a (literally) sharp and grumpy local woman who would rather gut a deer than talk about her feelings

-a well-dressed transman and his love interest with a huge… moustache

-swords

-a princess who just wishes she could punch things more

-between 0 and 2 witches at any given moment

-rOmAnCe

-body horror

-sweet family moments

-dislike of the aristocracy

Hope you like it!

i keep forgetting turning off reblogs is a feature i need to do that for all my textposts. like please i am just saying shit that is irrelevant to everything WHY are you reblogging it stop

What seems irrelevant to you, may be profound to someone else.

One man's trash is another man's religion.

ten years of fighting and when shit hits the fan tumblr instantly has reddit's back. the greatest enemies to lovers story ever told.

you understand

hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly

this is how eve got expelled from Eden

I like how bong can mean both penis and that big vertical disk that makes a lot of noise.

that's dong and gong. bong means neither of those things

This edible (fruit from the tree of knowledge) ain’t doing shit.

I’m naked.

$0

AUDIO! ON!

they are casting a level 7 Healing spell

Video description: a child in pajamas is laying on top of several low shelves, which are covered in a mat and blanket. It is situated in front of a window front, and the sun shines through. There are seven cats in various positions on top of the child, one of them resting between their arms. Extremely loud purring is audible. End video description

galwednesday: #imagine being a clairvoyant cafe owner and using your powers to prank former child star Macaulay Culkin #the culmination of years of work #at last the prophecy is fulflled

Next time he goes to Paris, that café won’t be there.

I want him in ways that would get me expelled from the kingdom of heaven

The kingdom of heaven is within us, and all around us. Let not shame deceive you; all your yearnings are divine in nature.

you know what, thank you

fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg

Asked my mom who both has a MA in psychology and currently works for Kellogg’s to weigh in for the hell of it

enemies to lovers 500K slowburn

Retrospective

Hello Brother, said Wolf.

Hello Sister, said Dog.

How much you have changed after you went to sit by the fire with the Others, said Wolf.

How little you have changed after I left the Old Pack, said Dog.

You have baubles jingling from your harness, and your coat has grown soft to invite stroking hands, said Wolf.

I have an iron collar of deadly spikes, said Dog, and my teeth have not grown dull.

You are sleek and well fed, said Wolf, and then she asked, won't you share a lamb from your flock, so that I may prosper this bleak winter, as your sister?

I will not, said Dog, for the Others have given me the sacred duty to guard them. The Flock gives its body so the New Pack may keep its strength and use it to nurture the next generation. I have made my pact to uphold this cycle. You have made no vow, and run from your mother's flank to scavenge the middens of my New Pack.

I will give you not one lamb, Sister Wolf, and if you wish to take one, we must fight, pronounced Dog.

Aye Brother, so we must fight then, said Wolf.

Oh my God!! 💜

"Cops can eat my gay ass"

Seen outside a police station in Poznań, Poland

Amazing photograph taken in the fraction of a second where the target doesn’t even know he’s being tackled yet. Idiot.

i saw a man at work the other day wearing a shirt that said "i was normal 2 pomeranians ago" with pictures of his pomeranians on it. important to note he had his pomeranians in his cart

artists rendition (i forgot to add the poms on his shirt but you get the gist)

Every time someone makes an artist's rendition of a weird little guy they saw in public instead of recording them without consent, an angel gets it's wings.

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

[image id: a stop light on fire with black smoke trailing off of it into an overcast sky /end id]

tbh i don't really get why we divide the oceans into different oceans because they're all connected it's the same ocean

no metaphor here just pure confusion...is there a line where one ocean stops and another begins? or is it like a smooth gradient of percentages of one ocean shading into another ocean?

Yes, there is a line. There are confluences you can see and touch and they are NOT subtle in the slightest.

That's the Atlantic and the Caribbean on a particularly pronounced day.

This is the Indian and the Pacific. It's not always this obvious everywhere but the dividing lines are very much there.

Oceans have their own properties as far as temperature and salinity and unless something like a storm or a current forces them to mix they won't. Mostly this applies to vertical mixing and it gives you things like thermoclines and haloclines but water is wierd and won't mix horizontally either.

The ocean basins tend to have their own currents that go in a circle and define that ocean, and those patterns mix the water within that ocean. Like a washing machine.

The Caribbean has a little loop of its own that not on this map, but that current keeps that ocean pretty internally consistent. It's got clear warm water because of the shallow bowl of limestone sand it sits in. Where it meets the Atlantic with wildly different conditions the water is traveling in opposite directions, and it acts kind of like an oncoming lane of highway traffic. Species that have adapted to a narrow band of temperatures and salinities (most fish) can't cross, while species with a stronger homeostasis hang out there on purpose, (marine mammals, turtles, sharks). Plankton, that cannot control their horizontal movement in the water column, are held in their home territories by these barriers.

This is cool as fuck

Can you do something for me, please?

I want you to reblog this if you believe that two people can be very close and physically affectionate with one another, but still have a completely nonsexual, non-romantic relationship. 

Even if the two people in question are capable of being sexually or romantically attracted to one another. 

Because the friendship I share with someone I consider family in a way that transcends blood has been typecast as a romantic relationship ENTIRELY too many times, and I’m beginning to get sick of it.