i’m not lying on the floor physically but i am lying on the floor spiritually

dinosaurs probably wouldnt be half as popular if they still existed cause they’d just be animals and wouldn’t be as mysterious

like. rhinos are right there. they’re super cool in concept but they’re right there and nobody cares

I care about Rhinos.

Happy holidays and a wholesome new year! via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2Rf3l0T

writing BDSM fanfiction about stephanie myer’s twilight series and then turning it into a bestseller erotica trilogy that somehow manages to be both more popular and more universally hated for its terrible writing than stephanie myer’s twilight series is the definition of “weird flex but okay”

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

does anyone have more pictures of dogs making this face? i need to start a collection

WAFER!!! ❤

Not For Sale

Otter teaches human how to pet him.

me asking for attention and affection

I just lost my entire shit

iam a dumb ass & an idiot & the sexiest person in target

i use my one brain cell to love my friends

Cate Blanchett and Katie McGrath have the same chaotic, floral-and-pastel-angel-one-moment-then-grunge-and-goth-witch-the-next, men murdering, rich sugar daddy energy that makes every character they play a lesbian no matter what and it’s only a matter of time until they meet and save WLW.

me in a Best Buy: excuse me, which one is the best

employee: I’m sorry, what?

me: which is the best to buy

When the whole squad looks good

i want to exist only at night when everything is calm

a guy walked into the board room and said

“hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling”

and i just stared at him and coldly said

“i am the regional reports manager”

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

why are cool socks not a bigger part of society. why doesn't everyone have cool socks with designs on them. why do we confine ourselves to white socked hell

what we need is a lesbian pirate film featuring katie mcgrath and keira knightley as the main characters who end up falling in love

I actually need this or I’m gonna die. P l e a s e

I DRANK MY MILK TODAY I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND CALCIUM ON MY SIDE