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Someone Who Really Needs A Life

@the-woild-is-ye-erster

He/They

I just finished something I think you’ll be interested in, if you love Davey being the best big brother this side of the Atlantic

Summary—

Lesley Jacobs is 7 years old, and nothing bad has ever happened. When he wakes up, it’s snowing. All he can think is that today is going to be awesome.

Or, Les loves the snow and David is just trying to keep his brother safe from the world.

Please check it out!

Crowley and Aziraphale are often described as two parts of a single whole, and having seen Gabriel and Beelzebub fall for each other too, I'm starting to wonder if this is a universal phenomenon...

What if every angel and every demon has a corresponding pair on the other side? What if they all feel drawn to each other because it's impossible to be truly holy or truly evil, and they crave the balance that only someone on the other side can give them? Finding that kind of harmony inevitably leads to feelings, just like it does in humans, the only thing that's been stopping them is most haven't had a chance to meet in 6000 yrs...

I can just picture the high forces of heaven and hell sending their troops to the final battle, the fight to end all fights after months of warring, and it all falling apart in chaos because of how many angels and demons have coupled off over that time and would much rather be together than fight in some silly little war

Something something the way that Crowley introduced himself to Aziraphale the first time they met in the garden and reacted as if they had never met before. Something about him later behaving as if he did actually have those memories of their time in Heaven together and trying to pass it off as being someone different now. Something about Heaven's way of punishing angels that go against the plan by erasing their memories. Something about Crowley seeing Gabriel without his memory and saying "ask him properly." Something about "remember it now" "it hurts, to remember. my head isn't built for that" "I know. Do it anyway"

Something about "I know. Looking at where the furniture isn't"

Something about I know

thinking about how much crowley and aziraphale have been getting slammed for their poor communication and on the one hand... absolutely, i agree 100%. they have so much work to do in that department, they are always missing each other when it comes to seeing what they each want from the other and expressing it clearly. but on the other hand... like... encompassing six thousand years into a conversation? six thousand years of knowing each other. six thousand years of gravitating toward one another

like... the bit that really gets me, in crowley's confession, is - "...and we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. i mean, the last few years, not really" - this implication that like... at least on crowley's part... since they saved the world together he's allowed himself to be more open in how he feels about aziraphale. that in his mind he's already long since chosen Their Side, they've chosen their side in their behavior towards each other, and they've talked about... our car, our shop, but even before that...

we see in the minisodes, the way they already act. they're a pair that shows rather than tells all the time and it's so abundantly clear that everyone around them can see it, is constantly asking about it, assuming it, reading it on them like they're an open book - with everyone but each other.

but like how do you put into clumsy human words how much love you feel for someone who stood next to you while you created the stars? who helped you create them? how do you say openly how you feel to the one person who understands you and your nature better than anyone else, who indulges your every whim because they want to see you happy while everyone else says you were built wrong, you're too indulgent, you're too soft but you're perfect for him, specifically, because you stood at the beginning of the universe together?

like how are they supposed to talk about that? especially when it's so forbidden to talk about that?

there are so few words that truly feel like they properly encompass what love truly and genuinely means? what loving someone TRULY means? how it's giving up your onliness and entrusting yourself into the hands of another, now you're not just you, now you're you but the world is brighter and sharper and more beautiful because of another? how we're all stuck on a spinning rock in the middle of space in the middle of the universe in the middle of the galaxy in the middle of eternity just little grains of sand and then there's another little grain of sand in the scheme of things, but it's the most important one ever created because of how happy it makes you?

but multiply that by six thousand years

so like of course you fucking cry and you stare at each other with tears in your eyes like you're absolutely ESSENTIAL to one another. but like how do you make it work in words when you don't know if there are even words for the prospect of existing without one another? and you have this absolutely incandescent and fragile thing between you that everyone understands to exist, you understand it to exist too, and sometimes it is scary as fuck to admit that you need someone. it is terrifying and uncomfortable and vulnerable and we're just people who live maybe 100 years on this earth? a blink of an eye compared to six thousand years of shared existence?

like...? truthfully i don't think i could talk about it easily either because oh my god that's fucking terrifying. that six thousand years of your comfortable and beloved shared existence could go up in smoke with one misplaced word. like no fucking WONDER he can't get the words out. and no fucking wonder, it's easier to couch things in terms like group and team and everything when you're on the verge of falling apart into a million pieces because the other half of your soul wants to leave you behind. it's easier to say come with me, work with me, be my second in command, than to admit he's first in your heart and mind every second of every day since you saw him bringing light at the beginning of the universe???

just... you know? they need a fucking break. they need a vacation. they need a cottage in the south fucking downs

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tonally, the whole 1941 magic hijinks just seem so different from the church scene that preceded it (not to mention all the details from your analysis) that I can't help but wonder if the whole thing was a Metatron-rewrite? and if so, what really happened that he was so determined to erase from A/C's story?

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Yes, a fantastic question, WHAT were they up to??? Getting drunk and kissing????? (honestly that would maybe make sense considering that the next flashback scene from the S1E3 cold open is the "You go too fast for me Crowley" scene so HMMMM much 2 think about)

(for anyone else: my analysis essay is here if you want to read it)

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