Think of you

When I close my eyes I see you

Can't stop myself not that I want to

When I hear your name

I Think of you

You brought me hope but took it with you

When I close my eyes

I can't unsee

Everything you did with me

I trusted you with everything

And you move on like I'm nothing

I still hold on to what we had

Even tho there is no going back

It's against God in everyway

We both know we have to change

I try so hard but each time

I always compliment you with love lying behind that line

You have him now

I am alone

You wanted me broke

You got your wish

My wish however

Is for just one last kiss

The last we shared

Had an onlooker watching

We laughed it off

Not knowing what was coming

It's hard to concentrate

When my brain won't focus

All because

You crossed I thought of you

I try to fight it

I really do

It's just more difficult

Because I really truly love you

I think of you night and day

Even when you are mad

Even when I am sad

I think of you when I sleep

I think of you when I force myself to eat

You are the only thing keeping me sane

And the sad part is

You caused a lot of this pain

You say I need help

But I'm not crazy

I don't need the meds

I don't want the world to be hazy

I want to see the vibrant blue

That I see when I look at you

When brown meets blue the only thing

I know for certain is you and me

But even then I knew it was temporary

For who would love someone so messed up

My mother, my brother, my father too

They don't love me just like you

I'm a disappointment in their eyes

I just can't see why

I am changing for the greater good

Even tho it's making me into their puppet

I can't help but not want my life to be a disaster

You have saved me more times then you know

When I was close to tying the knot and slicing my skin

Like I had many times before you came

You help me out even to this day

I love you honey

Please never change

Even if I'm not here to watch it happen

I will always believe that you make it

You need not doubt your dedication

For you stay away from grandma's medication

These words mean nothing to those that read them

But I bet you would understand

To bad you will never see

Just how much you mean to me

I think of you night and day

I think of you infinity

We used to make the corny jokes

When I would hold your hand near the homophobes

They would never know what really happened

Cause one day you will go to heaven

I wish it didn't end this way

But we will meet some other day

I think of you all the time

I will think of you everytime I hear the wedding chimes

We had it all planned out while still in school

At least 20 years ahead of us

We tried to make it work

But that just seemed to make it worse

I couldn't look at you without trouble

Even tho every man looked at you like a snack

I got you in trouble

I didn't mean your then to clap back

I'm glad your parents didn't find out

You still live in your house

I know they would have kicked you out

So instead you moved on past me

Now you are with Mr. Classy

You get pissed at one of your friends

Then you go fake kissing him

I got what he could never have

I got those lips on mine before anybody else

That is something I will keep close to me

Because I know it meant a lot

I'm thankful it was me

And not Mr. Big lot

I swear he just wants to use you

But you just want to get over me

You don't see my sense

When I'm trying to help you at me expense

I know that if I'm right you will hate me

Because I ruined your chance with the only guy that didn't call you baby

Look I'm sorry for everything that went down

Can we stop messing around

I want to fix things between us

But I know that can only happen

If we forget the past

I'm sorry that I can't do that

Because you helped me a lot during that

You keep me sane and off of meds

You keep me on my toes when you run through my head

I never know what you will say

It really just depends on the day

Sometimes you are nice and sometimes not

But I Know it's not the real you only a thought

I try to ignore it but it always comes back

Lucky for me it's easy to get back on track

The big picture here

Is that I love you

And I still care for you

I never meant to cause you hurt

But you didn't have to snap at me

When Tiffany decided to spread the lies

I never liked her it's not that hard to see

I never even met her

We texted about you

And she pissed me off

That was until you broke it off

I dropped her then

Told her to care for you

Then I told her I hate myself

That was done last time I texted her

I showed you receipts and you still don't care

I really don't find it fair

I won't be mad tho

Cause I love you so

Now you don't believe me

And now my life sucks

I just want us back

But that can never happen

So here is say

I think of you night and day

I think of you in everyway

I think of you whenever I can

I think of you when I look at the stars

I think of you when I smell roses

I gave you 2 before you even knew

I was nerves and stuttering

Staying to get my words out

I had to type it cause I was about to pass out

You laughed it off and told you you liked me back

But I had go wait until your puppy got back

I said I would wait until the end of time

2 weeks later and it became time to shine

I asked you more times then I should have

But each time you said yes

I think of you night and day

I think of you in every way.

You ask me if I fucked with your head. I answered honestly with no. I don't know why she has it out for me now, but trust me when I say, Darling, that I never looked away from you.

I hide from what I known to be the truth. Only because the second I let it sink in, I'm reminded that I lost you.

It's hard to accept that you need help when the person that you love says that you only need them in life.

If only that was what she would say.