Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

i love to use my pedestrian right of way... youre not going lol

if u feel the first cramp and think "i dont need a painkiller yet, itll pass" ? that the devil speaking, take that painkiller immediately

…….

#i can hear in the hall of the mountain king so beautifully through this post

This has done more positive impact for the autistic community than any autism organization has.

2006-2008 Dodge Ram 1500

Autism be damned my blog can identify a car.

not to be happy online but I love the world so much

sorry if this is too happycore but I love seeing the limitless kindness humanity is capable of

everything actually falls on a binary scale of “badass” and “cute” and god punishes me every time I step out of line by being both or neither but I do it anyway this time out of spite

sorry bud… you are fucked…

alright fuckers (lovingly)

no more goofin around

it's tuesday. go message some of your closest friends and tell them how much they mean to you

good luck I'll see you when you get back

we should bring back the supernatural fandom somehow having an extremely specific gif for literally every occasion though

i know you guys are still out there. i know you still have your .gif folders. don't pretend you're not.

you. you get it.

The urge to bother my mutuals

reblog if it’s okay for your mutuals to bother you <3

ur art doesn’t need to be perfect!!! it does need to be horny & grotesque tho

We need a whole scene dedicated to them

me: i really dont get why non-floridians lose their fucking shit when they see a beach. it’s just sand and water. who gives a fuck

also me: *sees one (1) mountain* ohohohoohohohohoh holy SHIT holy fuck that’s a big fuCKING ROCK

i love this post. i have never related to anything less

me, grown up in the Cascades range: *sees open plains*

me: oohhoh no. no ba.d . where . are teh rocks. wheres the woter. oh god it’s just drit everywhere for a million miles I need TREES dammit where are my lumber guardians

Me, grew up in Nebraska, the Great Plains: *see a forest*

Me: wHy ar e there s.o man y trEes??? They all g.ott so BiG wher is th skY

Me: Grows up in Boston, mostly travels to cities and Central America: *travels to the Southwest*

Me: where is everyone? Where is everything? What great calamity flatten this world?

Me: Grows up in rural Australia, travels to Europe: Green? How so much green?? Paddocks aren’t green! Why is it full of green grass like a cartoon??

Me: Grew up in the American Midwest *arrives on the coastline of any ocean, sprinting up and down the beach very fast* SHARKS? SHARKS?SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS?

Monkey very excited about exploring new biome.

i feel feelings

Rule

‘aight, mate, we’re done! Looking like a proper little punk now, eh?

people who market tumblr as a “fandom website” are missing the fact that the fandom tags are essentially unusable because you cannot venture into them without seeing a take so bad you want to throw up

Thank you for posting a pine cone for reference but I’d like to see what the bird looks like too, please.

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Absolutely the frak not, the trick is to immediately let people know how weird you are so you scare off the weak ones. The ones who stay because they like how weird you are? Those are the ones you want.

Post 1: workplace

Post 2: everywhere else

… you know what, codicil accepted