my mood

The Bubble Bath!🛁The perfect romantic dessert! Who would you share this bath with?

Chocolate guy's back at it

At first I only saw the caption and I was terrified he’d built a life sized tub

DONT SAY IT OUT LOUD HE MIGHT DO IT!

Tumblr is so funny because you can make a post like "hey do not mix bleach and vinegar in your cleaning, you'll make chlorine gas and you do not want to make chlorine gas. It is dangerous to mix these two specific chemicals together", and the comments are like

"Um vinegar isn't dangerous?? My mom cleans things with vinegar all the time and we have never had lung issues. White people are insane." (<- does not use bleach, missing the point)

"OH MY GOD BLEACH IS CHLORINE GAS? NOBODY EVER TOLD ME I'VE BEEN CLEANING WITH BLEACH MY WHOLE LIFE, I WILL DIE." (<- has literally never used vinegar in cleaning, and never mixed the two, missing the point)

"This is just stupid fearmongering, we use bleach and vinegar to wash the floors all the time, OP is lying." (<- does not actually know what "vinegar" is, and is confusing the word for something else)

"Yeah this is true enough but also keep in mind that this kind of household cleaning product chlorine gas is too weak and unreliable to use for domestic terrorism purposes." (<- raises concerns, but potentially has a point)

they should have steroid friendly sports events

op do i ever have news for you

they should also let contestants use drugs on each other during events, Mario Kart style. 150m hurdle but you also have to dodge tranq darts and hallucinogenic smoke grenades

what the fuuuuuck

this is a short horror story

Please make sure to reblog this with the explanation you guys:

The toddler doesn’t know Alexa is a name; as far as they’re concerned it’s a word that makes things happen. If the kid was saying “please play baby shark” it would mean literally the same thing to them because they don’t really understand language yet.

The toddler is mimicking adult behavior because they have seen adults say things that start with “Alexa” and have learned that starting a request with “Alexa” makes it more likely to be fulfilled. This kid has learned something about how their world works purely through observation! This isn’t a bad thing! It’s just been misapplied and it’s up to the parents to correct their speech as they grow enough to understand the difference.

Good for this person. This is exactly what you do. Screw the job.

I had a job that made me work an all nighter, 30 hours straight, over Thanksgiving. I resigned that Monday and it was one of the most satisfying decisions I’ve ever made.

Part 3:

Please pay attention to all the manipulation tactics this boss uses, because they’re pulling out every trick in the book.

This is like a 101 course in how employers use guilt trips to coerce you into putting up with their bullshit. This is precisely why you should never trust those employers who insist that they’re “like a family.” They are not. It’s just a ruse so that your boss can neg you into putting your job ahead of your actual life.

Okay so like, this is a hound right, they're bred for large groups and the bark is more of a bay, and they bay both in their pack (group singalong bonding moment) and also at prey.

This? This is not an unhappy dog. That tail is loose, wagging slowly, and the dog is having fun.

This dog is demanding that their human gets up and does a group singalong with him on the piano (because humans can bark right but perhaps the piano sounds similar enough to him that it passes the vibe check) and she does (which reinforces the behaviour, hilariously).

So yeah, this is a group singalong: hound-dog-style

~Space Pride Dragons~

This is the best way to start my new year.

You should turn the sound on because this dude is delivering a piping hot version of "What's going on?" and it is wonderful.

One funny thing to me about across the spiderverse was that like. You KNOW Hobie doesn't fuck with cops. You KNOW he was standing there like chewing on the inside of his cheek Not saying anything really really insensitive about Miles' dad. Spider-punk went the whole film without oinking at anybody I think his restraint is commendable

Miles, 15 years old, likes his dad: we can't just let people die c'mon guys!

Everyone else: I understand but please listen it's part of the timeline we can't change it without destroying the universe--

Hobie standing over there fidgeting with a pin on his vest that says "ACAB" on it:

[ID: tags from @avengerphobic that read "#hobie brown #he has blue shoelaces which means hes killed a cop so im sure he was like screaming on the inside #spiderverse spoilers" /end ID]

Hobie, quietly: I'd kill your dad myself to be honest

Miles: what?

Hobie: nuffink

Important to note that in the comics he has not only killed cops (he lives in an ultrafascist universe where the cops have venom symbiotes) he also cut off the president’s head with his guitar

Extremely swag thank you

One note: "cut off" sounds like he's got a blade in his guitar, but he doesn't. It's a blunt instrument. He just swung it hard enough to overcome the strength of his neck and rock-em-sock-em'd him

AWESOME

Stop calling me out like this.

The age when this change starts happening is 27. By 35 you are a full blood parent, whether you have kids or not.

this beautiful, ice cold, mana potion looking water

“In one of the most notable moments in sports history, Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was just a few feet from the finish line, but became confused with the signage and stopped thinking he had completed the race.

 A Spanish athlete, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him, and after realizing what was happening, he started shouting at the Kenyan for him to continue running; but Mutai didn't understand his Spanish. Fernandez eventually caught up to him and instead of passing him, he pushed him to victory.

A journalist asked Ivan, "Why did you do that?"

Ivan replied, “My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.”

The journalist insisted “But why did you let the Kenyan win?" Ivan replied, "I didn't let him win, he was going to win.” The journalist insisted again, “But you could have won!”

Ivan looked at him & replied, “But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honor of that medal? What would my Mom think of that?” Values are transmitted from generation to generation. What values are we teaching our children? Let us not teach our kids the wrong ways to WIN.”

HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

Ｉ ｄｉｄ ｎＡＵＧＨＴｔ！ Ｍｉｓｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｃｔｉｃ ｓｅｎｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ   ｐｒｉｎｃｉｐａｌ＇ｓ ｏｆｆｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｈｉｍ ＥＸｐｅｌＬｅｄ！

The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious

I will always reblog Mr. Electric Kill Him

It’s so funny