The_Phantom_Cat

sorry I kept grabbing the unprotected lube and lubing the entirety of the auto department floor. Now they keep it hidden behind locks to stop me from achieving my plans

when someone hits on me in the store (happens daily) I go "no i have a girlfriend" and I take out my broadsword and I cut them down so that they may never do it again

me w my boyfriend

Theif. This is actually ME with MY girlfriend. As God as my witness I will cut you down

@amtrak-official you're the only exception because you're literally just one guy. has anyone else at amtrak ever seen this account

I mean they don't really pay attention to what gets posted, as long as I don't get implicated in a murder, they don’t fucking care what I do

@amtrak-official you're the only exception because you're literally just one guy. has anyone else at amtrak ever seen this account

I mean they don't really pay attention to what gets posted, as long as I don't get implicated in a murder, they don’t fucking care what I do

when people put "trigger warning" on their content without specifying what the trigger warning is for

this post contains notes

does it?

does it though?

Fuck is going on here

post expired

Son of no notes ghost post.

obsessed with how tumblr just sometimes Does This 

I’ve seen this in pics but I’ve never actually seen one before? It’s so cool

they're not even his teeth

They're off to the void

you can bully the sonic movie into reanimating the main character and you can bully neil gaiman into making his self insert gay and you can bully warner brothers into releasing a scrapped cut of a movie in a weird aspect ratio. but you cannot bully the cw into telling you how an angel that was dead isn’t anymore. in fact you can fail at that multiple times.

Rainworld dump

horseback archery -> several hundred years -> jerking off while driving

watch anthropologists ignore this

Except the horse can just not walk off a cliff or whatever while the car absolutely can. I mean i know horses can but like if they are paying attention they’ll just be like “you’re a stupid and I’m not going there and you can’t actually make me”.

interesting. what other discrepancies have you found between mounted archery and masturbating on the interstate

Update from the WGA on negotiations

a mummy who broke out of his sarcophagus wrote this

reblog if ur a striminal

#YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY  #YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY  #A SMOOTH STRIMINAL

nice.

I am so embarrassed that only 31% of us have the good sense to lie when someone asks if we’ve committed a crime.

*a strime

happy monday

Alright when the Oceangate implosion happened I was a bit reserved about saying this, but now? Someone got a deathnote, and they're trying to be funnier than Lisa Simpson

I am making everyone look at this the other way now and you cant stop me

ANYWAY My very cool great friend @kotikaleo and I made this GREAT AMAZING collab piece and it's great and awesome and you all need to look at it now I dont make the rules

But yes, loved working on this project, also wanted to thank you again for the amazing time at Unicon youre the best. Excited to work on other projects with you soon :DD

agree to pay your workers fairly and the strikes will end, it’s that easy you greedy shits!

Stim vs that bitch of the east

They do lie

niko chart