The Devil Wears Prada was supposed to teach me about the dangers of forgetting who you are and putting work over your partner but what it taught me is that sophisticated older women with a lot of power are very, very sexy

iKarly marx So wake up the workers of my nation

You know what this means...heterosexual marriage hit the fucking towers. Disgraceful

Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

they shouldnt put video games on the switch

[ID: a Nintendo switch. The screen displays an Excel spreadsheet. end ID]

me

Ubers charge more if you order them from certain places, like bars where they know you have no choice if you’re drunk. Walk somewhere else just not anywhere that serves alcohol and then call for one. I’ve had my $40 dollar Uber go down to $20 before but it’s not always that dramatic.

[ID: a TikTok of a person standing in front of a bar backdrop. The caption reads “POV: you’re trying to leave the bar but an Uber is $58 to home”. The person looks down at their phone, glances around, then crouches down with a marker in their hand. They then morph into a Runescape character who draws a circle around themself, sits crosslegged, pulls out a spellbook, and teleports away. end ID]

would you rather fight a Wii U fan or a PS Vita fan?

things to remember

sorry if im bad at everything i was only just invented today. by a mad scientest

I cancelled our subscription with HP and they blocked us from being able to use the rest of the ink in our cartridge. The S in IoT stands for security. It is for your own good ;)

i can’t wait for my bluetooth and wifi enabled fridge to make me pay $59.99 a year for my Ice Pro Max™️ subscription or else it will stop producing ice cubes

See, this is exactly what those "paranoid" IT guys are talking about

the green color is not chlorophyll. they cannot usually photosynthesize. but sometimes they can

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

lorbish can photosynthesize

video essays about tumblr and the sad girl era where they talk about tumblr as a sort of ancient relic that can’t even be described to a modern audience are so funny cause it’s like. i have the tab open right now. the ancient tomes are filled with alive autistic women