Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

what would you do if you went to a party and they was playing owl city fireflies

Go hard

Planet earth might turn slowly but this ass don’t

he’s coming to get you

he’s coming to get you

he’s coming to get you

he’s here

he got you

DOG DOG DOG DOG DOG

A HEALING VIDEO

WHOLESOME CONTENT

i don’t think i’ve ever seen something as great as this

The Best Cat Tweets of 2016 (see 23 more)

Disney Princesses as sloths.

but why

why not

Men are so fuckin weak dude I swear. Women are out there grindin like nothing’s wrong while bleeding out of their vaginas 7 days a month, cramps so bad we can barely function, pushing a human out of our hoohas, taking pills that fuck with our horomones just so you can hit it raw and you have the damn nerve to judge the size of our hips that have birthed the civilizations of the world like they were made to be admired by you? No. Next time you get flicked in the balls I don’t wanna hear u talk about how it’s so much harder being a man. Damn. Shout out to women. Don’t let men tell you shit.

My friend sent me this after she won 3000 dollars off a scratch off. Reblog so that you can have good luck too

that’s a lot of dollars

IT WORKES I GOT PAID THREE DAYS EARLY

THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME

Pleeeeeease he needs the new laptop

FWUMP

unmuting is required for this one, kiddies.

If you scroll pass this you don’t got ten dollars

Need my $10

Guys i literally just got tipped $10 at work

Always reblog Alexander Hamilton the tomcat.

“Ok, break’s over, back to work!” (via koln555)

fat baby arms that look like theyre wearing a too-tight elastic on their wrist except they are not…reblog if you agree

Badass vintage and modern female movie characters

I think I might have broken my finger reblogging this. 

EVERYONE TAKE A MINUTE TO JUST APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT DONALD GLOVER EXISTS AND KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

au where everyone is born with a very unique tattoo on their ankle, nobody else in the world has that tattoo.

every time you fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears somewhere else on your body. (not necessarily soulmates, just who you fall in love with.)

imagine people who fall in love easily having their bodies completely covered in tattoos.

aromantics who only have their own ankle tattoo on their body.

people who have love affairs having to cover up the other secret tattoo from their spouse/partner.

a new tattoo appearing on a celebrity’s body in new photos and a very lucky fan (who had recently met the celebrity) realizing that it’s their tattoo.

elderly ladies sitting around tables in nursing homes telling the story behind each of their tattoos.

kindergartners who giggle as they look at their own ankle tattoos together and dream about the future tattoos they’ll have when they’re all grown up.

people trying their best to deface tattoos of ex-lovers who broke their hearts, but they can never go away.

just think about this, guys.

ok but when u realize you have your partners tattoo and yours never shows up on them

THAT LAST ONE IS NOT NICE

Me in the apocalypse. 

“tell me more, hooman”

bathroom poets