ya coochie declined

How a therapy session actually works ;)

alexa 1: why are u worried if im interested in someone else’s feelings or not???

alexa 2:

mosquito: *about to bite me*

me: umm i have a bf

🌸*little giggles* daddy’s the only one allowed to put their mouth on baby girl ^_^🌸 -Babygirl

me:

mosquito: yikes

Enchantress: I turn you into a hideous Beast. What are the names of your servants?

The Prince: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts -

Enchantress:

i want 2 be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i dont Do anything

this happens 3 more times in a row I shit you not 

Brother of the year. (via sugarsiah)

cracking open berlin wall with the boys

Cracking open a Cold War with the Boys

ME

Is Russia even real

I think it is necessary for me to transcribe what she’s saying because it is EXACTLY how I babytalk to my cat:

“Oh Stepa! So little – little Stepa! My little kiss, where’s my little kiss?? Where are my little fingers? Where are my little legs? Where are my little paws? Stepa!” *shakes his paw* “Say hello! Hello my little one! Hello!” *lies down on him* “Oh how nice, how warm. Good boy…”

to be clear, this bear is named the russian equivalent of “steve”

later bro

Artist Hank Schmidt travels to scenic locations only to paint the pattern on his own shirt.

chaotic neutral

white people think the world belongs to them… however, what goes around, comes around

God is good

Look at the animal kingdom doing the lords work

Amen Hallelujah, won’t He do it.

the circle of life 👌

Whatever you do comes back 3 fold

Natural selection

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

^^^^^^^^

Someone buy this man a beer

take a fuckin sip, babes

Sure, cats falling off things is funny, but NOTHING is funnier than robots miscalculating the speed, force or angle needed to complete a mundane task. NOTHING.

raccoons have people hands

or do we have raccoon hands