I feel like I need to post some thoughts…
What the fuck am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing? I feel like I’m living life like it’s a joke. Like I have time to be messing around, living like I was before I graduated. Is this a midlife crisis? I don’t know who I am or where I’m going and I’m more confused than I have ever been before. I thought graduating would give me that sense of stability I needed but instead it spun everything around and turned it upside down.
I said never again and it happened again and it happened in the exact same way that I swore that it wouldn’t happen, and I keep thinking that if I’m older, shouldn’t I be smarter? Not making the same mistakes repeatedly? How can my mind somehow make it work in the most ridiculous way, when it obviously won’t; living in a delusion. Yet here I am at 22 finding that I am continuously, perhaps a bit more cautiously, but yet continuously, repeating history. Why do I have to have feelings? Why is distance still a thing? Why can’t I get you out of my mind? I want something without so many questions.
WHEN YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF GOD YAHWEH JEHOVAH THE FATHER AND TRULY BELIEVE AND HAVE FAITH YOU WOULDN'T FEEL THIS, YOU'D FEEL JOY AND HAPPINESS. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU 😀
