buckley-robin
#The only place where they feel safe (requested by @yelena-belxva)
#He just wants to sleep against his dad
Bacchino Malato (Caravaggio, 1593)
My favourite thing about this post is that someone saw those photos of that cat and went “ah yes, I know exactly which 15th century Baroque painting this reminds me of”
I can tell it's snoops technique for sure
where-the-wild-things-mcr
Every fall out boy song is like *nonsense lyric* *nonsense lyric* *the most profound cunt serving couplet in the English language since Shakespeare that sends you straight back to middle school* *nonsense*
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave
How fucking old are you people?
normal amount
To me, the best embodiment of modern capitalism is in the phrase "please hold, we are experiencing higher than usual call volume". I know it's a lie. You know it's a lie. But you still hear that line every time you call, regardless of the day or time, because it shifts the blame. It tries to prompt you to blame the other callers instead of asking, "Hey, why are they deliberately understaffing their call centers and making it so difficult to get help?" It takes a failing caused by deliberate, profit-focused management choice, and turns it into a problem with the people using the system, rather than one with the system itself. And that pattern, to me, is the epitome of the modern corporate system.
The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.
Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.
Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.
Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.
tilthat
armedandgayngerous
that was the Devil
I mean they wanted rain
His name was Charles Hatfield and I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make a deal with him, but I am saying that you should be very clear about the terms and conditions
La de la reina
The joy of rattan.
The important bit here is Steam Bending.
You place the piece of wood that you want to bend in a chamber (usually just a long pipe with lots of room) and once it has completely heated up to temperature of the steam you take it out and bend it into a jig that holds the shape while it cools. Usually this requires “over-bending” by about 10% because it will spring back some even after it has completely cooled.
There is quite a bit of skill in getting the wood hot enough (without cooking it) and (without burning yourself) bending it to a shape that will spring back into the shape you really wanted.
“He holds me as though I’m the only solid thing in the world.” —Jude about Cardan, The Queen of Nothing
“The odd curve of her ear was what he had noticed first. A roundness echoed in her cheeks and her mouth. Then it was the way her body looked solid, as though meant to take up space and weight in the world. When she moved, she left behind footprints in the forest floor. Because she didn’t know how to glide silently, to disturb no leaf or branch. He felt smug to see how bad she was at even such an easy thing. It was only later that it disturbed him to think back on the shape of her boot in the soil, as though she was the only real thing in a land of ghosts.” —Cardan about Jude, How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories
aka a love story summed up in two quotes <3
Let's not forget that we are hoping for our favourite royal couple to have undergone some character development in the 10ish years between QoN and TSH, a thing which we already see beginning to take place during the King of Elfhame novella. So yeah, it will always be fun to see Jude viciously kick ass while Cardan is a hedonistic himbo mess in the background, but I also hope that, now that Cardan is loved and appreciated, he has also learned to apply himself productively to the good of the realm and show off some of that cleverness that he likes hiding, and I hope that this helped Jude learn that she doesn't always have to control everything because she expects people to fail her if she doesn't, because her charming sexy husband with excellent fashion sense does actually have both a brain AND her back.
This thread is hysterical.
Imagine a future of indestructible self-driving Teslas rampaging through the streets of San Francisco, their insides lit up with fire, the skulls of their long-dead passengers beating against the unbreakable windows with each bump and jolt.