Thinking about when CG was used exactly one time in the entirety of spongebobs pre-movie 3 season run
Like, they could’ve easily just had him instantaneously burst through the wall and get roughly the same joke across, but the fact the writers wanted him to slowly push through the wall like that SO BADLY that they went out of their way to implement the cg effect to do so is so fucking funny to me fndmmsmsms
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.
If I was JFK I would have just dodged the bullet
If I was JFK I would have made shooting me illegal
It was illegal to kill in the 1960s as well.
wrong.
If i was JFK i would just die. I dont care. Im messed up
If I was JFK I wouldn’t have ignored Jackie’s fat ass in front of me
really funny that every website is in an arms race to make itself as bad as possible and immediately someone makes a firefox extension to fix it
The thing about Peggy hill is you see her in some episodes and you might think well this woman has some lesbionic mannerisms. but the truth is she's just one of those very sporty southern moms who inexplicably gets away with not upholding their side of the gender roles even in communities where everyone is kinda expected to do that. Like she kinda gets to do what she wants. Cause she's Peggy that's just how Peggy is. And she has a husband and a kid so they're like ok fine I guess
Like if you told her she looked gay here she would laugh really awkwardly and be like Well, I hope you mean that as in "happy", because in that case I am positively gay. I am so gay and in love with my wonderful husband Hank. And Hank would be like *texan sigh* Peggy, You can't go around tellin people you're "gay" for me. People are gonna start to get the wrong idea. And then shed accuse Hank of being homophobic and double down
God damn I’ve been Owned…
where’s jack going
to undo the future that is aku
leftists on twitter are so mad at this guy for pointing out something that is fundamental to economic organization under modern imperialism lol. imperialist powers take over other nations economies, transform them to be primarily focused on key commodities for export and destroy the rest of their markets for other goods so they depend on selling these specific few commodities to the rest of the world. do you think that under a socialist government people in these countries would want to continue economies based on export of one thing or reorganize their economy to be more self sufficient and actually serve the people directly involved in it. everyone loves to point out stuff like the CIA’s involvement in the coup in guatemala but lose their shit if you point out the implications in their daily american life
was I the wrong kinda christian or something? bc I don't know what a sharaningan is
How can you call yourself christian if you've never heard of the sharingan?
my wife, upon learning that pubes can be straight: Thats not bush,,, thats just grass
looking up google images pictures of michigan at the same time as my friend and calling it michigan multiplayer
This might be harsh but I think those who equate “good character design” to “character I would fuck” and express outright disgust at designs who dared to fall outside their conventional beauty norms should be trapped in the amulet for a thousand years. minimum
