Im ADHD, autistic, and DID
This side blog has become a diary of my journey with mental health. Sometimes you just need to vent and sometimes you just need to try and focus on the positives
This blog has a mix of angst, positivity, and dark aesthetic
General tw for self harm, suicidal ideation, disordered eating
See below for individual sysmate blogs
I've realized that even though i miss you, you cant fix that feeling. What i miss is completely in the past. And with that knowledge the emptiness of missing you has started feeling like warmth towards what was
The Godfather
Your trauma is valid even if they genuinely didn’t mean to hurt you.
One of the weirdest things I've noticed as I've learned more about our system is that our ADHD manifests VERY differently between parts. Like usually i sleep a lot but when certain headmates are hanging around WE CANT SLEEP
step one to overcoming social anxiety is to realize that most people kind of suck and their opinion of you is literally worthless
yes, food is fuel. but it is also for pleasure. it is also enjoyable. it is also emotional, personal, intimate. food is fuel, yes, but that does not make you a machine. you are allowed to eat something just because you want it, just because it sounds good, regardless of the nutritional properties. food is a shared human experience bridging across our entire existence. to reduce it to something as simplistic as fuel denies us the emotional connection that food contains. food is fuel, yes, but it is also so much more than that.
insta: duckinggoodart
This post is a reminder for those who resemble their parents in some ways but don't want to be anything like them: you are your own person, not an extension of your parents. You are an individual. You can make your own choices, you can follow your own path. You won't become your parents because you were never them, you just share common traits with them. I know it's scary, specially when they don't treat you like a person, but like you are an extension of them, or part of them, or like they own you, or like you can be molded into being whoever they want you to be. Some parents can forget they are raising a completely separate human being, an individual with their own personality, with different needs, with their own agency. But don't forget that you are an entirely different person just because your parents ignored that fact (because this is a fact). You cannot become your parents, surely they can influence you, you often share similar traits, but you will always be you.
my new thing whenever an embarrassing memory jumps up out of some backwater neuron to t-bone my present-day thought process is to declare a statute of limitations. like i can burn down an entire building in the state where i live and the law deems it both unfair and illegal to prosecute me after six years have passed, i think that thing i said in high school can be expunged from my record.
Okay, but this is actually kind of genius.
Keep making room for the things that heal your heart. - Morgan Harper Nichols
I think one of the things that makes relationships difficult to me is that if i love you then i love you. The love i feel can be categorized as strictly platonic or romantic. And i dont know why there are some people i love who i think "yeah i could see myself marrying you" and others i dont. Which isn't inherently a bad thing but its confusing to someone like me who wants very clear expectations in a relationship because i cant even clear up my OWN feelings. And when you throw other people in its just 10 times worse. I dont want to say that im open to a sort-of romantic relationship with anyone bc most likely im not gonna be able to give what you want BUT if i do catch feelings for you i still want that to be a possibility. And at the end of the day what i really want is someone whos important to me who i can say i love you and they'll say it back and i know that im important to them.
It's ok not to be ok. People say that a lot but it's true. Just because you're sad now doesn't mean you will be sad forever. Falling apart today doesn't mean you will feel like this tomorrow. If you're sad, that's ok. If you break down, you will be better soon. Don't hate yourself for feeling bad, it's not your fault. Another day will be better.
the Sylvain meme redraws continue,,,
