talking to preschoolers is awesome bc they have not fully differentiated stories into 'true stories' and 'imaginary stories' yet so you will tell them about something that happened you once (coyote came out of a bush right in front of you and got startled) and they will tell you about how one time their house was full of coyotes in every room 'including five in the garage' and they're not even like, aware i think of the idea that they are technically 'lying'. they are simply telling stories about coyotes bc its time to tell stories about coyotes.
Most autistic dog to ever exist
Dude has a death wish
Delighted to announce this bird is real and is a corvid.
Truly the family that just keeps giving.
I haven’t seen it in the notes yet, so afaik, here’s the source of that video! So now you can see the funny poison bird much more clearly.
It was taken by a biologist that studies birds so it seems like he knows what he’s doing. For the most part. Here’s his caption:
You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird
to have the decadence this finch is experiencing with millet seeds...
fool you are in the food
peets in the eats
theyer old enough that they used to connect
They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.
I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”
I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue
I just saw a story on AO3 tagged "pet p!ay"
TIK TOK MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE IT DESTROYS LANGUAGE
Ok, unless something's going on I'm not aware of (extremely likely), I gotta point out the term "Pet Play" is significantly older than Tik Tok, or most of its userbase for that matter.
Yeah, I'm not mad about using the term "pet play". That's a perfectly fine term. I'm mad because they didn't use that term: they used "pet p!ay", a censored version
Oh. Oh gawd I missed that. Objection withdrawn, that is objectively terrible.
To anybody who is new to posting on ao3, if you’re using a tag you have to use the correct spelling of that tag. People aren’t going to type in every version of a censored word to hide or look for your content 
For everyone new to tumblr, the same rule applies to tumblr too.
You cannot censor your tags! Censored tags cannot be block or filtered. Censoring tags HARMS your audience, it does not protect them
when people act like Large Beverages are the thing thats wrong with america as if thats not the only thing keeping me from driving off a cliff... ohhhh Those greedy americans slonking away at their Large Beverages. we're literally all working in the hamburger mine to afford rock and roll disc . Beverage is all we have
it’s so stupid that you can’t think your way out of the mental health trenches. like you can know exactly what is wrong, why it’s upsetting you, and you can walk yourself through all of it logically and Understand it but your brain just responds like
the only bad part about going to the zoo is hearing adult men confidently tell their kids or gfs objectively incorrect information about the animals we’re looking at and having to remain silent. do u know the restraint it takes to say nothing when a grown adult man tells someone “falcons are in the same family as eagles” next to me? no babygirl. no.
fyi falcons are not closely related to other birds of prey (hawks/eagles/buzzards). falcons are actually parrots that minmaxed for a glass cannon dps build.
assault parrots, if you will
Once you get to a certain level of advanced maths, you basically become a wizard.
this is what a page of my wizards spellbook looks like
Sounds like something a wizard mocking another wizard for their poorly written spellbook would say
happy first week of august to those who celebrate
Good Omens 2 feels like fanfiction not because of its contents but because the author is here on tumblr posting things like "hehe not sorry >:)" and getting hate anons
Most Youtubers: Sorry, I don't know how to pronounce this, but I did a lot of research, uh *reads a Wikipedia page verbatim*
Defunctland Guy: The story of the Heathcliff Gravy Boats Ride at Ohio Wonderland began on May 23rd, 1618, with the defenestration of Prague -
There's something so deeply calming about watching megafauna prance and gambol about like they're little lambs
Bison pronking is already so magical, and then the double rainbow and the happy birdsong just put it way over the top
as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.
every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.
until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.
imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet
WHAT
We don't blame them
theyre just so smooth
No No No! 🙀 Don’t take your hands. I feel so comfy. 💕🐊
HOW CAN SOMETHING BE THIS CUTE
But really, though 🥺