Hey carson look at this

our new head chef Barbecue Pistol is going to rock your world with his brand new fry sauce which is a mix of ketchup and mayonnaise and a little sriracha for that pistol kick

Unmute !

transcript:

weatherman: "...terrell and in dallas your heat index is 107. everyone in mckinney is DEAD. the temperature... the heat index in mckinney is ten thousand - what is that? one hundred and one thousand one hundred and five. it's hot in mckinney!"

New weird horse just dropped, folks.

A spotless giraffe was recently born at Bright’s Zoo in Limestone, TN and was just announced in the media this morning. They’re starting a public naming contest for her, of course.

I’d love to know what type of mutation causes this lack of of pattern, but I don’t know if we have genetics on that for giraffes the way we do other species. As far as is known, she’s the first spotless giraffe ever documented!

laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!

i trusted you

Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people

magical girl transformation but theres no pretty lights or sparkles just grotesque and blood curling body mutation layered by the sounds of joints cracking bones snapping and muscles twisting unnaturally and she looks like a normal magical girl at the end

who fucking reblogged this as ben ten

Well this is fucking clever - hide a malicious powershell script inside a license file, assuming (correctly) that no one EVER looks inside a license file. (from Andrew Brandt' War Stories presentation)

you get into bed with a guy you just met and you notice a hole in his sheets and mattress and he goes 'oh yeah by the way sometimes when i have a bad dream i unsheath my bed knife and stab the pillow in my sleep' and chuckles a bit shyly and you go okay because now you have more questions than you started with but he also has his hand between your legs so you take your chances and when youre pillowtalking afterwards you ask if maybe you can sleep on the side of the mattress that doesnt have a stab mark and he laughs like youre crazy because 'what if theres an intruder you dont know where i keep my bed knife' which just from the name seems pretty self explanatory and also you saw it when he was pulling at the sheets earlier but anyway you nod and shrug to yourself because its too late to take a bus and you splurged on a fancy iced coffee yesterday so you cant afford an uber and you really carefully arrange yourself so your face neck and chest aren't near the (very deep) stab hole and it takes a bit but you do fall asleep only to get woken up by him tossing and turning and whimpering almost like hes having a bad dream and you start calculating your odds of wrestling a knife away from this guy versus just throwing yourself out of bed and maybe waking up the roommate he mentioned didnt like having overnight guests but then you notice hes struggling with the sheath like really just can not get the snap open and its a little funny a little sad so you take pity on the poor guy and unsnap the sheath and he pulls the knife out and plunges it into the pillow where your head just was and the blade slips into the handle and you realise its only a prop knife and it startles you so much you laugh and wake him up and he blinks up at you so blearily when you ask how he ripped a hole through the mattress if his bed knife is a prop knife and slurs 'thats from when i want to fuck the mattress'

Forest God (pt 1)

by

Oleg Vdovenk

im a proud "ive never used chat gpt" user btw

i honestly dont think I've willingly used a chatbot since..... cleverbot in 2012. i genuinely dont know why so many people care about this ai bullshit. sorry im with the boomers on this one. i need human creation, emotion, and thought to be interested, pal

Plus since ChatGPT is sanitized you could never get interactions like these

the people arguing with me about this are funny to me, he is from the southern most region of hyrule working on a farm and also the only guy in the province wearing eyeliner and spiky hair. he is also secretly a dark beast

Evergreen headline.

The article (from July 2, 2023): https://hackaday.com/2023/07/02/computer-speed-gains-erased-by-modern-software/

Which is based on the blog post (from June 27): https://jmmv.dev/2023/06/fast-machines-slow-machines.html

The original videos are linked in the blog post, but they are on twitter, so they might go away any day now, and they don’t even have alt text that I could find, so let me describe them to you under the break.

Unmute !

Writing the phrase 大手大脚 (da4shou3da4jiao3; lit. big hands big feet), meaning to be extravagant and wasteful, spending money like water.

if only i could use my art skills for good

Funniest part of this is that this is that the entire sequence of events this implies would still be a completely plausible Wile E Coyote Gag.

Unknown, Cat, 19th century

hostile group chat

D&D going mainstream really messed up people's expectations cause chances are you're not gonna find a DM who has the free time, talent and resources to put on a tale that competes with Tolkien. you're gonna find your friend's roommate Phil who's read one of the manuals a few times and has to pause to get a calculator out to figure out how much damage your attack did and his story is blatantly ripping off a dragon age 2 side quest