OH! BEFORE I FORGET-

Things to know about me

im 23

ive had a boyfriend that i live for, for 7 years. im not interested in you enough to leave him

me and my boyfriend are swingers so as long as youre polite im happy to talk

you can always dm me, but i might not always answer

i was born female but i use any pronouns. i lean feminine because i like dressing and looking feminine

i call myself a bimbo in training, no. you cannot "help me with that"

im in est time.

be respectful 🩷🩷

i um- my fiancee broke up w me

sobbing ive literally never felt so ugly in my life idk i just cant stand it, i dont feel good about myself and i just want to feel normal

cockwarming a dildo while daddy's at work has me all silly

hiccups everytime i get nervous is really inconvenient.

job interviews going well? hiccups.

someones flirting with me? hiccups.

in a meeting? hiccups.

all the fucking time. every fucking time. i get nervous amd immediately start hiccuping. life lesson tho- get rid of hiccups by laying upside down and eating a bowl of cereal. objectively life cereal is the best. it doesnt like- make it go away faster or anything- it just tastes the best.

there's something so hot ab someone jerkimg off into my mouth. you wont even let me suck just swallow so it doesn't go to waste.

im not a good partner. i love harshly and abrasively. i ache for my partner when they arent present and i always want them to be with me. im bossy and annoying, im stuck up and a bitch. im way too jealous- shit- ive committed downright criminal things for ny boyfriend because i love him. now you ready for the kicker?

i wanted to get better at shaving for my boyfriend (and so i could have a perfect shave) and i RESEARCHED this shit. now, here, an amalgamation of all the shit i learned.

🪒- always use either men's razors, OR five bladed razors. you could use another kind, but its higher risk of razor burn, clogging, etc.

🧼- shave in passes, first pass shave in the direction of hair growth* (like on most bodies' legs its down) then in the second pass, shave in the opposite direction

🩷-if you want to put on lotion after make sure that when you finish shaving, you run the shave over with cold water, this closes your pores and lowers risk of bumps and ingrown hairs

🪒- if you are shaving your pussy, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES USE SCENTED PRODUCTS.

🧼- if you are shaving your pussy, use conditioner to soften the hair, be careful to rinse it all off, and use deodorant after

🩷- if you want to use expensive products (i don't I'm cheap as hell) ALWAYS research the product beforehand and make sure you get one that's compatible with your skin (don't get something with irritants)

🪒- use close cut scissors to cut as much hair off as you can first

*direction of hair growth can be difficult, the easiest way to see which direction it grows in, is literally to feel, if you run your hand one way, and it slides with the hair, that is the direction of hair growth

im an apprentice tattoo artist, and it doesn't make much money. while i definitely could slut myself out for money (and would enjoy it) my boyfriend doesn't like that idea. He told me i could slut myself out if i applied everywhere in a 15 mile radius and didnt get a call back. I did everything to not get a call back. I USED MY FUCKING GAMERTAG AS THE ONLY. FUCKING. ACCESSABLE. EMAIL. today i get a call. i thought it was my sister. (who has been trying to have a baby)

"whats up? did you get knocked up finally?"

AND THE QUIETEST LITTLE VOICE ON THE OTHER END GOES "im [name] with uh [local hippie store] are you uhm-" i dont think ive ever panicked so hard.

uh anyways so i have an interview soon because i couldnt tell that sweet girl no

imagine if you were betrayed by a friend being forced to do disgusting things for them. building trust and one day they swing by and say they have an embarrassing ask. You, being a good friend say sure! of course you would, its your friend! you love your friends. they come in, sit down with you, maybe even eat with you, but the second ask them what they wanted and they pounce on you, pinning you down. you look at them watery eyed, and beg them to stop you beg "why? i thought we were friends... stop, please" you cry straining in their grasp in agony. then they do the unthinkable. they unzip their pants and look at you, tears in their eyes "im sorry i have to. please forgive me for this"

people need to learn that when you come to my house and i offer you food or a towel im offering you to stay. im from a small town and that kind of closeness rubbed off on me. shit theres always a good time to offer a towel. in winter its cold and wet and a towel is a great way to say "hey do you wanna come in, relax and dry off a little?" same for spring, its like always raining, in summer sprinklers are almost always going off, and in fall? its muddy and gross. after i moved to somewhere thats less rainy and muddy, i started offering snacks, tea, water, etc. im close with my neighbors and they often stop by to borrow someting. I always offer them to stop and stay. BUT APPARENTLY WHERE I LIVE NOW THATS AN INSULT? like apparently offering someone a snack real quick while they're over? apparently thats saying that you think they dont eat, or cant afford snacks? im just trying to be nice why is there subtext in everything

my bf started calling me bunny so uhm start anticipating a drawing of what i look like irl coming soon

my sweet boyfriend keeps apologizing for correcting my behavior like stfu fuck me again