may i share with you the best video on the internet
Source: youtu.be
Yeah my name is Tim, short for OpTIMus Prime
[id: tags saying "wait wait i wanna know where they plan on using their full name, why'd you cut it off"]
answer: THEIR WEDDING.
I can't describe to you the emotion I would feel if I was hanging out with my friend Tim and he was like "hey we've been friends for a while now I want to show you something," and he hands me his driver's license, upon which I read "Optimus Prime Jones"
From The New Anecdota Americana, 1944
diversity win! this farmer is poly
twitter is broken today 😭 are there any other ways that people search for anthologies to apply to?
might not be broken actually! Might be working as intended!
OH FUCK! okay twitter is dead, that’s amazing. this is a death blow. does he not understand that the platform relies on addictive doom scrolling, and that people actively want to quit but can’t because it activates all the right brain chemicals? this is wonderful for me at least, with Elon’s help I can finally kick this particular addiction.
absolutely losing it over the queens playing an entire first session and only afterwards realizing that pc death is an actual thing that can happen
like. the indignation 😂😂😂
remember when this was the craziest thing politicians ever said
this could work. we never tried it
the sound of an orchestra tuning up makes me go crazyinsane it makes me start thinking about the eventual heat death of the universe and how someday somewhere an orchestra is going to tune up for the very last time. ever. and then the sun will swallow the earth & turn into a white dwarf & all the stars will go out & meanwhile a gazillion light years away sentient life will be evolving from silicon. and maybe they will have orchestras also
I put them in a stroller for a ride and accidentally set Chester down on his back. He was so overstimulated and excited he just laid like that and chattered for awhile
you wanna fight? alright let’s take this outside! the stars are so bright tonight. the moon looks so nice. hold my hand
every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers
gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.
when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!
so fucked up that i have to take care of my body everyday. what if sometimes i feel sad about the maintenance
Not your typical coat color in a cat
I think it's probably actually an orange kitten with a very 'sooty' cast to it.
Better lighting and he looks even weirder. What even is this color, sir?
... this is now stuck in my head on repeat, so it wins
*holds up a paint sampler next to the cat* He's between Indian River and Smokey Taupe.
Ive eaten crunchwraps more supreme than this court