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@that-random-aroace

|| Gabi/Alex || sleep || he/they || minor || aroace || don't ask me about my fandoms || fun fact: I change my icon based off of my IRL appearance || afab ||
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witchofprose

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

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ifellinlovewithjaneway

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."

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My personal favourite is his lengthy lecture on the subject of Supplies Being Very Important I Cannot Stress Enough The Importance Of Protecting Your Supply Lines But Also Supply Lines Are Expensive As Shit So Steal The Enemy’s Supplies At Every Opportunity. 

One of the more important things to consider about any historical work is the audience it was published for. The Art Of War was aimed at fancy nobles high on philosophy with little practical military experience who were nonetheless leading armies.

Sun Tzu, after desperatly trying to explain extremely basic logic to a bunch of upper-class twits, basically sat down and wrote the most elaborate "As per my last email" ever

the art of war is tedious and irritating when you read it as like, immortal prose by the most brilliant man ever to kick ass. but it’s incredibly fucking funny when you realize that sun tzu had to write every single one of those entries because someone somewhere did not know this ahead of time and made a really, really expensive oopsie doodles.

being a woman is fucking exhausting. everything is created to disgrace our lives. this is horrifying.

The website promises to make “men’s dreams come true.” Users upload a photo of a fully clothed woman of their choice, and in seconds, the site undresses them for free. With that one feature, it has exploded into one of the most popular “deepfake” tools ever created.

Far more advanced than the now-defunct “DeepNude” app that went viral in 2019, this new site has amassed more than 38 million hits since the start of this year, and has become an open secret in misogynist corners of the web. (HuffPost is not naming the site in order to avoid directing further traffic to it.) It went offline briefly Monday after HuffPost reached out to its original web host provider, IP Volume Inc., which quickly terminated its hosting services. But the site was back up less than a day later with a new host — as is often the case with abusive websites.

"Hany Farid, a computer scientist at UC-Berkeley who specializes in digital-image forensics and was not involved in the original pix2pix research, said the fake-nude system also highlights how the male homogeneity of AI research has often left women to deal with its darker side.

AI researchers, he said, have long embraced a naive techno-utopian worldview that is hard to justify anymore, by openly publishing unregulated tools without considering how they could be misused in the real world.

“It’s just another way people have found to weaponize technology against women. Once this stuff gets online, that’s it. Every potential boyfriend or girlfriend, your employer, your family, may end up seeing it,” Farid said. “It’s awful, and women are getting the brunt of it.

“Would a lab not dominated by men have been so cavalier and so careless about the risks?” he added. “Would [AI researchers] be so cavalier if that bad [stuff] was happening to them, as opposed to some woman down the street?”"

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ladychurch

Darn shame if this circulated…

So you mean to tell me that just by reblogging this I’m ruining an organizations plan, wasting them money, and uncovering some shitbag humans awful behaviour?

T R I P L E K I L L

DEFINITELY don’t Lt. John Pike by the nickname “Sargeant Pepper”; I know he HATES that.

So I ended up with free time at the end of my first class today, so I was like "do yall wanna see a vintage meme?" and turned on "what does the fox say". Expected like. A laugh from the kids, or even just a "wtf is this mx?" which is. A reasonable reaction to What Does The Fox Say.

But instead of a reasonable reaction. all of my students watched the first 60 seconds with jaws agape. And then this one kids turns to me like the fucking eye of Sauron and literally goes:

My husband told me I also should share the next part of this story, where I, feebly trying to defend my honor against a child, said, "No, this video was just big when I was in college!" and he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and absolutely obliterated me by saying, "So did you go to furry college?"

funnytwittertweets

Get hot water, not boiling hot but almost hotter than you can stand, and put a metal spoon in it for a few seconds. Take the spoon and put it against the mosquito bite for about 30 seconds. Do it a few times if you like. The proteins that cause the itching are susceptible to heat and break down.

WHY DON’T THEY TEACH THIS SHIT I have four decades of suffering from skeeter bites behind me

One study on 146 individuals treated with a Bite-Away heat pen found similarly effective results from heat treatment; thankfully, spoons dunked in water cost way less than the Bite-Away’s 30 bucks.

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i think a reason why werewolves appeal to trans people but are terrifying for cis people is because trans people are not inherently afraid of transformation and change. changing your body into something more empowering and heavily removed from your old self is a dream for a lot of trans ppl but for cis people its evil, wrong, scary, violent, etc. hence the differences in how the little gay people on here talk about werewolves vs pop culture depictions of them

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girls don't want boys, girls want megamind's fucking sick platform goth boots that he wore to fight titan

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[ID: a screenshot from the movie 'Megamind', tinted in blueish fog. You can see Megamind sitting on a high chair to the right. His upper body is out of frame, the focus being on his gigantic black platform boots with spikes around the bottom. /ID end]

Boys want this too

berserklrina
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Since no one seems to be teaching the kids this anymore:

Don't post anything with specific registration numbers on it, kids! This includes driver's licenses (we're so proud you can drive now, but don't show us your name, face, address, and driver number!), passports (travel is fun, but just post pictures of what you saw after the trip is over!), train/plane/concert/show tickets (see above!), or credit cards oh my god people are posting their entire credit card online that will put you in massive debt and screw your credit score for life please do not!!!

This has been a PSA from your concerned friend online. Please protect yourself. Some secrets are not only okay, but necessary.

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AND!! And! This also includes posting pictures of barcodes, especially on boxes from things you’ve ordered from Amazon, UPS, etc etc etc.

Barcodes are scannable. I occasionally have to do this for clients at work, and no, I do not work for Amazon, FedEx or UPS or anything like that. At the very least, barcodes contain your home (shipping) address. Do not post images that show a straight on picture of a barcode - the picture of the barcode may or may not be scannable, by people who may or may not work for the company you ordered from.

And absolutely positively do not post pictures containing a tracking number! You don’t even need a barcode reader to decode that information.

Avoiding Chub Rub this Summer

Hey so if you're a person whose thighs touch when you walk and you want to wear skirts, shorts, or swimsuits this summer without chub rub this is the quick guide from a fat person who enjoys wearing skirts.

For those who don't know, Chub Rub is a painful burn that’s caused by friction, which generates when bare thighs rub together during walking and running and is exacerbated by heat and sweat.

There are two main ways to avoid Chub Rub, broadly speaking.

The first one is:

Physical Barriers work by keeping your thighs covered in fabric so they don't touch and chafe.

Bike Shorts -Pro: Comfortable, stretchy, has pockets. Perfect if your skirt is longer than your shorts and not sheer. Super good in the winter. -Cons: Hot, almost never come in neutral or skin tones, so they’ll show up under anything sheer.

Bandelettes- Thigh bands that stay in place with a silicone strip. They can be cute, like garter belts, or simple. -Pros: Comfortable. Can be sexy, More discreet than shorts, Excellent choice if you want an exposed midriff. They stay in place all day. Easier bathroom access then shapewear or bike shorts. -Cons: No pockets. May not be wide enough to be effective for extra good thighs. Silicone bands that hold them in place can pull hairs and be painful.

Shapewear -Pros: Almost always come in skin tones. Shape the booty, slide really well. Cooler than bike shorts. -Cons: Extra difficult bathroom access, often high waisted and long so they don’t work well with short skirts. rarely have pockets.

The big con to this category is that you're limited in how short your skirt can be since for the shorts and bandelettes to work they need to be long enough to cover all parts of your thighs that touch when you walk. Depending on the shape of your legs, thighs, and your gait that could mean your shorts are pretty long. For me, I'd need my shorts to be almost knee length to be effective.

Knee length shorts under mini skirts aren't for me. Which is where the second category comes in!

The title says it all. These are various kinds of gels and stuff that you apply directly to your thighs to keep they sliding smoothly past one another without chafing.

The big pro of this category is that all the products are Invisible so they work with every fit, no matter the size of the thighs! They’re even useful when wearing swim suits. Just remember to reapply after you get out of the water. The cons are that some formulas can cause breakouts, and most will need to be reapplied several times throughout the day so you’ll have to carry it around with you. None of these specific brands gave me breakouts, but my skin is not your skin.

There are other anti chafing gels and creams and sticks out there, but these are ones I've tried and like very much.

Monistat anti chafing gel Lasts: 3-5 hours Invisible, cooling, feels great on the skin. Works even through high heat and sweat. I’m sensitive to textures and the powder-like feel of this stuff when it’s dry is amazing. I'm not sure if it's "waterproof" but I sweat in my thigh area a lot and this stuff really sticks it out like a dream. It lasts far longer then I do between bathroom breaks so I just reapply it each time I use the bathroom and let it dry on my thighs for a minute.

Megababe Thigh Rescue Lotion Anti-Chafe Stick Lasts: 3 hours The deodorant stick makes application easy and fast, It goes on smooth and feels fine! Comes in a mini version that makes it easy to keep on your person and reapply through the day. The big con is that this stuff melts kind easy on hot days. which makes a mess in your bag or pocket. It doesn’t do great with sweat and will need to be reapplied more often. It's unscented.

Skin Slick spray Lasts: 4-5 hours. This comes in an aerosol can so it’s not an option if you’re flying. Outside of that, it’s great. Feels nice and keeps your thighs cool. Goes on fast and easy, works well even when you’re sweating because it’s designed for sports. The best option for beach days.

To finish this post off here are some commonly suggested chub rub hacks i don't recommend and why. Deodorant- ineffective and if you use the wrong kind, it can actually make it worse. Baby Powder: Okay so this a mixed bag. Over all, it does work pretty well for a short time. And who can deny that there isn't much that feels better then a healthy sprinkle of baby powder down your shorts on a sweaty day. It soaks up your sweat and makes you feel cool and dry. The problem is that it doesn't work for very long before needing to be reapplied, by which time the previously applied powder is clumping. Not to mention it leaves white powder all over the place. I'll be honest, I often put this stuff in my bag when I'm going to be outside all day in the hot sun. At pride, summer festivals, hikes, camping, fairs, I always have it with me just in case. But I have to be a little desperate to bust it out because it makes such a mess and smells so strongly. It's a last resort.

The Chub Rub Patch- This is the absolute worst thing I've ever tried for chub rub. It's essentially a large band aid with no pad that you stick on your inner thighs. Throughout the day, the edges of these patches kept getting caught on one another and starting to peel and stick to my other thighs which gave me worse chub rub then if i had used nothing. I thought maybe I applied them wrong, so I tried them again the next day, this time taking care to make sure my thighs were clean and dry before applying. Same thing happened. And they hurt to take off. Like a band aid. They're single use, and pretty expensive. They come in one size, so they won't work for a lot of bigger thighs. These suck. They're ugly as fuck too. Do not use these things.

Body/baby oil- This is a very effective way to fry up your thighs. After a day of walking around you're thighs will look just like fried chicken.

Body Lotion- a move i've only ever seen attempted out of real desperation. This is a bad idea. The lotion rubs in so fast that you won't get ten steps before needing more. If you're chub rub is bad enough that you're trying this hack, it's time to find a pharmacy and get some Monistat anti chafing gel. I once saw a woman at a pride tie two trash bags around her thighs and it worked better then lotion.

Happy Summer Everyone! And don't forget sunscreen! Especially if you have dark skin because dark skinned people are significantly more likely to die of skin cancer in the USA and Europe then light skinned people. Even if you don't think you'll burn that day, you're still being irradiated by the sun!

if you like some sort of historical clothing style, tap pants/step-ins/chemises/combinations/drawers (if the open crotch seam is high enough) can work, too! just shove your chemise between your legs if that's what you go with- it's one option dress historians speculate may have been used for this purpose in the past, pre-drawers

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I propose:

Pigshit: Excessively silly beyond what would be expected; IE, your friend who can't finish telling a joke because they are laughing too hard is "going pigshit"

Birdshit: That which is obnoxious, but ultimately harmless. IE, holding your finger two inches from someone and saying "I'm not touching you" is "birdshit behaviour".

Goatshit: Low-quality yet pleasant; that which is enjoyable enough to outweigh the obvious negatives. IE a corny TV show, ratty PJ pants, stale food you still intend to eat, is "complete goatshit"

Bugshit: Similar to "batshit", minus the connotations of anger and violence. A toddler experiencing a burst of hyperactivity who will not sit down or sleep is "going bugshit"

Wormshit: That which could theoretically be improved or repaired, but is not worth the effort or expense- rotten leather boots, a baby tooth with a deep cavity, or a second-hand car with a blown out engine. That one pair of cheap socks you bought for a dollar at Target that have holes in the toes are "wormshit"

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

I am literally begging. BEGGING. Yall to just actually Google what the word "fetishize" means, even just one time. I know that nuance and context is a concept a lot of people on the internet don't understand, but here's the gist. Finding something attractive is not fetishization. Being turned on by something is not fetishization. Having kinks is not necessarily fetishization. Having a preference is not necessarily fetishization. Appreciating certain features, aesthetics, or behaviors is not necessarily fetishization. Reducing a human being from a complex person with their own thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs, down to one singular aspect of their character that you find sexually or otherwise gratifying is fetishization. Saying, "I really enjoy that my boyfriend, whom I love and enjoy sharing a life with, is well-endowed" isn't fetishization, saying "I don't care about who he is or what his life is like, he has a big dick and I use him for that" is fetishization. Men who only date Asian women because they believe the stereotype that Asian women are all submissive, childlike, and docile are fetishizing them. Embracing your partner's cultural background because you love them and want to appreciate all parts of their life is not fetishizing. Fetishization is the act of reducing someone to a single characteristic, whether true or perceived, and disregarding their other attributes as a human being. Not every fucking aspect of attraction or kink or sex is fetishization, you fucking walnuts.