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No Face

@that-one-weirdo-with-no-face

Look, it's a dumbass. Wait, that's just me-

The Batkids stances on murder:

Dick: murder is wrong. Except when it’s the joker

Jason: murder is ok

Cass: murder is wrong

Damian: murder is wrong

Duke: murder is wrong

Steph: murder is wrong

Tim: murder would make Bruce upset

...Damian's not accurate, it should be: Murder is something my mother's side would condone, but it would make about 95% of my father's side upset

"The water is still rising. The ritual failed."

"The river spirit's anger has not been appeased."

"GODDAMNIT TIMMY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO WASTE WATER" "SHUTUP MOOOMMM, ME AND MY FRIENDS ARE TRYING TO APPEASE A RIVER SPIRIT'S ANGER" "TIMMY I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T TURN OFF THE DAMN FAUCET RIGHT NOW I WILL KICK YOUR GROWN ASS OUT OF MY BASEMENT AND WHOOP IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS" "FUCK, FINE"

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Bruce asks dick (and only dick because his children aren’t allowed to be there at the same time) to go shopping but he ends up bringing

  1. Cass who nobody can say no to. dick thinks it’s fine, it’s only one other person
  2. Steph because cass insists they’re a package deal. It’s only two extra people, after all
  3. Jason because ‘you never pick the right brand of olive oil’. The number of people is getting iffy, but dick lets it go
  4. They find Damian already sitting shotgun. Dick tries to get him to leave, but apparently he needs ingredients for a science project. dick knows he’s in trouble with Bruce now, but at least it’s not everyone.
  5. threyre halfway there when duke, at the end of his patrol, spots them. dick just sighs. what Bruce doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? at least tim isn’t coming.
  6. they arrive at the grocery store and dick goes to unload shopping bags from the trunk. Tim is sleeping there. dick doesn’t even want to know.
  7. they end up racing the shopping carts down the aisles. Cass drives Steph, dick drives Damian, Jason drives a snoring tim straight into a tomato sauce display. Bruce Wayne has to make a ‘generous donation’ to the store. dick is grounded.

...I want to see this in visual form sooooo badlyyyyyyy

*pulling myself out of a shallow grave* you call this a fucking GRAVESITE, i call this a DISGRACE *dusting the dirt from my shroud* u gotta PACK the dirt in there boy i wanna feel like im being tucked into bed by a STEAMROLLER, i want 8.8k psi MINIMUM on this bitch *hacks up a shovelful of soil like a cat retching up a hairball* I'VE SLEPT UNDER MEATIER WEIGHTED BLANKETS

They made a grave mistake didn’t they

Are you okay? You sure were coffin up a lot of dirt

I sure wasn't having a fun-eral time

No superhero works alone. Everyone has a “Keeper,” someone to help the paragons with their darker moments. Of the two, criminals and villains fear the Keeper more.

"Oh my god she's here" "EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" "Why is everyone running? I haven't even acknowledged my presen-" "OI SIMON YOU PUTA, YOU HAVEN'T PAID ME BACK YET YO STUPID CABRON!" (sorry for anyone who's actually Mexican, please don't take this offensively)

You are a cabdriver. But you don’t drive any cab, you drive The Herocab, a cab that any superhero can call if they need to be somewhere urgently. Today you were called, only to find the hero a bloody mess on the ground and a villain, the hero’s phone in hand, standing over them.

"..." *slowly starts backing up* "WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THIS" "..." *backs up faster* "HEY"

A noble sentenced to die is allowed to choose their execution method. They ask to die in honourable combat against the king’s knights, armed with a wooden sword while the knights have real weapons. It’s been 24 hours since the execution started and the king is running out of knights.

"HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD!?" "IT'S KINDA HARD TO STAB SOMEONE WITH THE SPEED OF HERMES, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DUDE'S TRAINING REGIMENT!???"