February Break Motivation
You wake up on Saturday morning at 4 am. By the time your family has woken up at 6, you have run 3 miles on your treadmill, tiffany blue Nikes a blur as you speed along. 3 miles completed in 18 minutes, 250 calories gone from your 90 pound frame. Back at your highest weight, you would have burned much more, but now that you are skinny, 250 will have to do. You would normally drink water, but today you stick to green tea because you don’t want to look bloated on the beach. You fit in a quick ab workout so your six pack is even more defined, and then lounge on the couch scrolling through Tumblr. Your family straggles down the stairs, rolling suitcases and grabbing bagels in the kitchen. They are disorganized and you are late heading out the door as they eat their breakfasts, bagel crumbs flying at you from every direction as you roll your already packed bag to the door. In the car, you say you will grab a bite at the airport, you couldn’t possible eat this early. Secretly they marvel at your self control, and they wonder what they will look like on the beach next to you. You pick up your cousins, the dancer and the gymnast who you used to be jealous of but now your thigh gap is wider than theirs. When your family arrives at the airport, late as usual, you are the one who has everyone’s tickets and directs confused grandparents to the gate. Your family thanks you, always the organized one. You end up having to sprint to the gate, no time for breakfast, but nobody notices because your destination is on their minds. Mexico. Mexico with its sunny beaches and crystal clear pools. Pools and beaches meaning bikinis, lusting teenage boys and jealous girls who can’t help but look at the way your thighs can’t touch no matter what angle you stand at. This year you are ready, your six pack sits on what used to be a bloated sack of fat. Even when you lean over, you don’t have to suck in. Your thighs, thanks to the hundreds of miles you pounded out on the treadmill, are tiny enough to fit one hand around. Your goal bikinis finally fit and look amazing with your collarbones and jutting hip bones. Fat moms look at you next to them on a lounge chair, thinking about their high school cheerleading days and wishing they hadn’t let themselves go and wondering if they will ever loose the baby weight. They tell you how beautiful, how they would kill to be you, but they have no self control. You head over to the snack bar, and there is a girl sitting on a stool in a bikini. She is chubby but tries to appear confident, her died blond hair tossed over her shoulder as she tries to suck in her stomach while chugging a smoothie and eating nachos. You walk and your thighs don’t jiggle at all, you can even eat a piece of Oreo cheesecake at dinner and your stomach still doesn’t bloat. Your size 00 shorts make your legs look like twigs and your gymnast cousin asks you how you got your thigh gap. Each day of your vacation you wake up early, head to the gym, pound out your 3 miles and then condition before heading the pool with your family. You’ve gotten asked out multiple times a day, and girls have even swam up to you, chubby stomachs poking out of their tankinis, to ask you how you did it. Each night your family goes to dinner and you order a salad and everyone makes fun of you, but on the inside they are jealous. You return to your room to see that the picture of you in a bikini on your Instagram has gotten your new record for likes, but what makes you even happier is that somebody has posted your body check in a collection of their favorite thinspo. You answer your full inbox before falling asleep to the sound of the ocean winds threatening to carry your tiny body away.
yes please
