Your important

can you not

cake + emojis

I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life

*gets shot in the leg* “are you ok?” “i’m fine just tired haha”

holy fuck this isn’t the onion

“covert sexual encounter”

“so i heard you have a tumblr”

Possibly the best Twitter account I’ve seen.

cheeky nandos

Connor’s gonna regret making this vid

OH MY GOODNESS

mom: honey, what would you like for your birthday?! :)

me:

mom: no silly!! i mean a REAL present!!! 

me:

So turns out my prom dress just so happens to match my morph suit..

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

“But your honor, she’s a GEMINI”

“Case fucking dismissed get that two faced bitch out my courtroom”

*wakes up from a nap angry and not knowing what day it is*

Pepe Pig.

best six second exchange i have ever seen in my life