can you not
cake + emojis
I just want to lie in bed and not participate in life
*gets shot in the leg* “are you ok?” “i’m fine just tired haha”
holy fuck this isn’t the onion
“covert sexual encounter”
“so i heard you have a tumblr”

Possibly the best Twitter account I’ve seen.
cheeky nandos
Connor’s gonna regret making this vid
OH MY GOODNESS
mom: honey, what would you like for your birthday?! :)
me:
mom: no silly!! i mean a REAL present!!!
me:
So turns out my prom dress just so happens to match my morph suit..
Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move
Gotta try it
“But your honor, she’s a GEMINI”
“Case fucking dismissed get that two faced bitch out my courtroom”
*wakes up from a nap angry and not knowing what day it is*

Pepe Pig.
best six second exchange i have ever seen in my life


