““But eyes are blind. You have to look with the heart.” - Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince”

• If you're the only level-headed person in the room, take charge. It doesnt matter if you're perfect, you're just making sure everyone gets through the day.
• Keep frazlement on the inside until you're away from people under your direction. Then let it out to your equals and superiors.
• Be gracious. If you receive help, even if it's not what you expected, it's still important.
• Defiance doesnt mean "I hate you and I never want to listen to you", it means "something about this is really not working for me and I need support".
• Putting restless energy towards constructive pursuits will get you approximately 3000% further than behavior suppression.
• People who are involved with a routine firsthand will know that routine better than you. That's okay. Take your leadership queues from them.
• Being loud doesn't make you respected. Being respected keeps you from having to get loud. (But if you're outside, get loud.)
• Intervals of activity will make you so happy. So run for a minute, jump a little, shoot some hoops, play a round of hopscotch, be a ticklemonster, then go back to "I'm a responsible adult."
• Wear comfortable shoes. Wear comfortable pants. The easier you can move, the better.
• Take a good lunch, I promise you need it.
• Music makes everything better, especially if it fits the mood of whatever you're doing.
• Acting like your dick is bigger than someone else's is less about showing off, and more about who you protect, and who you stand up for.
• And most importantly, if you ever need small children to follow you, run in the opposite direction than they expect you to. 10/10 confuses them into chasing you.

• Speak deliberately. Don't rush. They haven't fully developed their audio-processing, and need more time to process.
• Give your kids time to answer you. 30 seconds is not uncommon between questions and responses.
• Do not repeat your question. You interrupt their thought process by repeating yourself.
• Do Not Flutter. Kids are constantly nervous, stressed, and anxious. They have no regulation over their cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Their brains are designed to jump straight from safe into Fight, Flight, or Freeze.
• Stay steady. Steady in your words, in your actions, in your intentions. They'll respond a lot better to you making direct eye contact, asking your question Once in a low voice, and waiting for an answer, than they will you running over to them, rattling off five questions, and watching the whole rest of wherever you are.
• Get down on their level. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Sit on the floor or in a low stool, ask them questions about what they're doing, engage in what they're playing, even if it's just to ask more questions.
• Kids cannot meet you where you are, so you have to go to them. Kid having a crisis? Go to them. Figure out if you're needed, wanted, or better off giving them a space to cool down until they can explain.
• Kids are pace-matchers. How fast you go, is how fast they go.
• They're learning and exploring. They know almost nothing. They want to discover. Give them that space. A couple of my kids and I had a wonderful time today figuring out what a phone was, why it had a redial and hold button, and making pretend calls to one another.
• Working in compatible small groups will save your life. Friendly competition? Teamwork? Model-mentee partnership? Taking turns? All excaberated in small groups.
• Naps/rest time are reset buttons for brain chemistry. An hour minimum for kids up to age 6. Trust me on this.
• All else fails? Cuddle the kid.

• Kids complimenting each other on ideas
• “We’re a group, not a competition”
• Offering to share, even with prompting
• Saying “please” and “thank you” in class time
• Thanking students who perform a service like holding doors or passing out sanitizer
• Offering to help one another with tasks like tying shoes
• Thanking adults without prompting
• Apologizing to adults without prompting
• Casual positive contact like holding hands and hugging
• Kids “splitting chores” when putting things away
• “You take this side, I’ll take this side” mentality
• Gift giving, like cards and flowers
• Offering solutions to problems
• Awareness of consequence

• Thank children after positive contact, “thank you for the hugs, (name), now you need to be (insert activity).”
• Repeat standard rules. ie: Be safe, Be respectful, Be responsible.
• Give specific consequences for actions. “If I have to ask you to refocus three times, we stop everything we’re doing and you’ll have to sit in the safe chair until you can show me you’re ready to listen.”
• Give applicable choices for kids to make. “Where in the room is your Smart Seat?” “Would you like to sit on the blue couch or the yellow couch?”
• Process process process. Step by step, every time.
• Tie in actions to standard rules. “Was (bad choice) something that was safe? Could it have hurt someone?”
• Praise students for ideas.
• Build suspense in diadactic reading by asking students to predict.
• Pair students off to talk to one another about their ideas.
• Narrate through cooperative play.
• Ask students what they can do playing together.
• Bring students into “peer conflict” problem solving.
• Apologize when you make a mistake
• Prompt students to apologize to one another and “accept the apology”. Hugging it out is always good too.
• Don’t turn away hugs/latchings. It’ll make you bitter.
• Gentle redirections and reminders. Kids aren’t perfect and they certainly don’t remember everything you ask them to do.
• Encourage certain sections to clean up as a group.
• Put children in charge of “classroom tasks” like passing out sanitizer, moving chairs, line leader, necessities holder, janitor/clean up of cubbies and carpet.
• Pass out cards for birthdays and holidays from you the teacher. Write something personal for every student.
• Show positive interactions with other adults in your building.
• Show positive interactions with students not in your class.