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Terry Pratchett Quotes And Aesthetics!!!!!

@terrypratchettparadise

Hi, welcome to my side blog dedicated to (mainly 😸) terry pratchett quotes!! Probably mainly from discworld but anything terry pratchett is loved!!!!! (feel free to request a quote i spose?) Credit for my icon goes to svealand.tumblr.com ! Pls pls go check out their blog they're amazing!!! My main blog chocolateymunchkinbunny.tumblr.com so... that's the blog I'll follow people on or reply to people with 😁
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terrypratchettparadise
"The vampire gave her the kind of smile only a vampire can give.  It would have been sheepish, if sheep had different teeth."

- Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#monstrous regiment#discworld misc#took me too long to figure our why id spelled monstrous wrong#apparently theres no e in there#im posting this in a dress rehearsal#sitting in front of my computer in full green face paint#gettimg green all over my phone as i type#fun quarantine times#vampire#sheep#teeth#fangs#humoir
terrypratchettparadise
"The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog, and then looked down at the congealing puddle of stone, metal and miscellaneous trace elements that was all that remained of the secret headquarters. And of its occupants, he realized in the dispassionate way that is part of being dead. You go through your whole life and end up a smear swirling around like cream in a coffee cup. Whatever the gods’ games were, they played them in a damn mysterious way. He looked up at the hooded figure beside him. “We never intended this,” he said weakly. “Honestly. No offense. We just wanted what was due to us.” A skeletal hand patted him on the shoulder, not unkindly. And Death said, CONGRATULATIONS"

Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#brother watchtower character#death character
terrypratchettparadise
"Monsters are getting more uppity, too," said another. "I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door-"

"Pour encourjay lays ortras," said one of the listeners.

"Right, and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get."

- Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#discworld city watch#monsters#humour
terrypratchettparadise
"Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir," said Carrot
"What, in Ankh-Morpork?"
"Yes, sir."
"We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value."

- Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#carrot ironfoundersson#sam vimes#ankh morpork#innocence#crime#discworld city watch#im pretty sure ive actually already posted this one but i dont care#plus i couldnt find it when i looked for it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i a a whole dumbass and forgot to source the boom and author im gonna cry why pls never look at my blog again i hate everything
terrypratchettparadise
"At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth," said the president of the Guild of Assassins. "A dragon slayer. Where is he, that's what I want to know? Why aren't our schools turning out young people with the kind of skills society needs."

- Terry Pratchett - Guards Guards

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#guild of assassins#discworld city watch#dragon slayer#school#education#hero#editing my tags cos i read the responses to the last quote#funnily enough this coming splurge of guards guards quotes was inspired by the specific tiktok people are mentioning 😂#fun times
terrypratchettparadise
"You’d have thought, with that pale, equine face, that he’d incline towards stuff with whips, needles, and young women in dungeons.  The other lords could have accepted that.  Nothing wrong with whips and needles, in moderation.  But the Patrician apparently spent his evenings studying reports and, on special occasions, if he could stand the excitement, playing chess."

- Terry Pratchett - Guards Guards

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#discworld city watch#patrician#lord vetinari character#chess#bdsm
terrypratchettparadise
"Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look. A Couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. William had explained that it was an urban myth. It was always a friend of a friend who had heard it talk, and it was never anyone who had seen the dog. The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear."

Terry Pratchett - The Truth

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#the truth#discworld misc#foul old ron character#gaspode character#william de worde character#humour#urban myths#dogs
terrypratchettparadise
"In the Ramtops village where they dance the real Morris dance, for example, they believe that no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away – until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested.  The span of someone’s life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence."

- Terry Pratchett - Reaper Man

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#reaper man#discworld death#dark morris#death#life#ramtops#impact#existance#metaphore#excuse me while i cry over this quote#ouch my heart
terrypratchettparadise
"Have you got any last words?"
 YES. I DON’T WANT TO GO.
"Well. Succinct, anyway."

- Terry Pratchett - Reaper Man

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#reaper man#discworld death#death character#the harvester character#i think#death#last words#dying#excuse me im having emotions#i have been trying to do pages but its occured to me it will depend on the edition you have what page its on#but most discworld books are on google books and if you search thw quote there itll take you there#idk why im saying this here noone reads these#anyway
terrypratchettparadise
"He knew from experience that the living never found out half of what was really happening, because they were too busy being the living.  The onlooker sees most of the game, he told himself. It was the living who ignored the strange and wonderful, because life was too full of the boring and mundane."

- Terry Pratchett - Reaper Man

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#reaper man#discworld death#living#life#mundane#human nature#inspirational#i gyess
terrypratchettparadise
"Although not common on the Discworld there are, indeed, such things as anti-crimes, in accordance with the fundamental law that everything in the multiverse has an opposite.  They are, obviously, rare.  Merely, giving someone something is not the opposite of robbery; to be an anti-crime, it has to be done in such a way as to cause outrage and/or humiliation to the victim.  So there is breaking-and-decorating, proffering-with-embarrassment (as in most retirement presentations) and whitemailing (as in threatening to reveal to his enemies a mobster’s secret donations, for example, to charity).  Anti-crimes have never really caught on."

- Terry Pratchett - Reaper Man

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#reaper man#discworld death#humour#crimes
terrypratchettparadise
"Death sat on a mountaintop.  It wasn’t particularly high, or bare, or sinister.  No witches held naked sabbats on it; Discworld witches, on the whole, didn’t hold with taking off any more clothes than was absolutely necessary for the business in hand.  No spectres haunted it.  No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only haemorrhoids but frostbitten haemorrhoids.
Occasionally people would climb the mountain and add a stone or two to the cairn at the top, if only to prove that there is nothing really damn stupid that humans won’t do."

Terry Pratchett - Reaper Man

#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#discworld death#reaper man#humour#death character#mountain#cairn#humans#witches