actually i experience “body horror” every day. because. um. i have one

op turned off reblogs but i want this post on my blog

I know basically nothing about tarot cards but I absolutely need to make this a reality

Back in 1066 if you were out of cash you could just go to a castle by the sea and pretend to have washed up and say to the lady when she finds you in the morning “verily was my vessel thrashed uponne y rockes, and was I threwn theroute, and nighly drownèd, but spied I a maiden seated on a cresting waive, and she spoke unto me thus, Thou shalt upon a new land happen, and the Ladie who ruleth there will do good unto thee, and robeth thou in the coloures of her house, and take thy hand in marriage upon y dethe of her Lord, and then that sea-maid sung an a daulphin issued me from y tempest to this gentle cove” and she would just believe you. And then when her husband died the next day of “stomach upset” she would marry you and you’d be fine. It happened so often

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by dredging the sea floor for sunken detritus

Я фрукт! Ещё какой!…

Other people have added but that last part is idiomatic and emphasizes the first part so more accurately reads: “I am a fruit — and what a fruit I am!!”

its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like "ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we're better then them" as if they dont have to typ3 w0rd$ I1k3 th!$ to get around their censors

stop listening to music and start listening to the sounds of nature. the “eagles?”The “rolling stones?” The “beetles?” Come into the beautiful forest with me and you will find all of those things friend…. I promise….If you just believe<3

In the beautiful forest you will also encounter the “mountain goats” and “corn” and “monkeys” and the “killers” and the-what do you mean what was that last one? Nothing haha don’t worry about it…………… <3

Harry: And why shouldn’t I blame Spiderman for your injuries?? He calls himself a hero, protecting civilians like you should be his priority! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick his ass for letting you get hurt!!

Peter: Because-

Newscaster on the tv next to Harry: In this footage you can see Peter Parker, known freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle, actually shove Dr. Doom out of his way while yelling “move it or lose it,” as he runs with his camera, presumably to capture more pictures of the vigilante known as “Spiderman”

Harry:

Peter: -I’m a dumbass.

The image of Peter shoving Doom out of the way though. Like, did he get his ass beat? Or was Doom just stunned?

He must have flashbacked to getting pushed around in high school, lying on the pavement wondering why a guy that weighs a hundred pounds wet could shove him so easily in his armor. (I don’t know if Dr. Doom is even physically strong.)

Anyways, Harry’s about to have an aneurysm because of Peter “I push supervillains around for fun” Parker. Mr. One Bad Day Away according to his coworkers.

Shadow! SHADOW. This could tie in with the Polarizer post. The folks at the Daily Bugle see Parker pushing villains around for a shot or when he’s late to work and just goes: Oh, he’s gonna be top dog when he turns.

Just: “Hey Parker, want a coffee? ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ᵉᵛⁱˡ, ᵒᵏᵃʸ?”

Absolutely

Also, he was quick enough running that he got away with it, in fact, it’s not till he hears the news that he realizes who he pushed, that point of calling himself a dumbass was him realizing for the first time how badly he fucked up

He spends awhile after that anxiously waiting the consequences of what he’s done, when he runs into Dr Doom as Peter Parker, he’s once again in a bad mood, so several things happen quickly:

Doom confronts him, Peter snarks back at him, Harry freaks out and pulls a weapon out to defend his friend (he’s started carrying one around after realizing how disastrously Peter lives his life), and Reed intervenes because of course if Dr Doom’s running around then the fantastic four are close behind

So not only did everyone see Peter not back down from Dr Fucking Doom, but they all just saw Harry Osborn pull out a weapon, obviously something Oscorp specific that he got from his dad, and realize that Peter’s villainy could easily be funded and supported by Oscorp

It’s at this point that the coworkers who were just making jokes about future villain Parker start to join the others in genuinely believing it

Meanwhile, Peter’s just happy that one of his science heroes defended him …up till JJJ starts yelling at him for not getting pics of the fight despite being right there, meanwhile the rest of his coworkers are behind Peter, trying to silently tell JJJ to stop stop stop

They don’t know what’s preventing Peter from turning into a supervillain, seems like it’d be so easy for him to do so at this point, but they’re happy that whatever it is exists

Honestly, they’d probably believe that Aunt May is the one stopping him, and now every time she gets sick she gets a ton of cards and flowers and gifts from Peter’s coworkers wishing begging for her health to return

This is how “Peter Parker is already one of the villains” rumors surface

(Also!! This could tie in with him having a fake villain identity, he does all that work to make a fake civilian identity to go with it, but because only the villains know about the fake civilian identity, everyone else goes “shit that must be Parker.” he’s freaking out, why are people associating that identity with him??)

🤣🤣😂🤣 “Shit that must be Parker.”

I need Harry to find out about the supervillain persona apartment. Like, Peter has to desperately explain that it’s for photo-ops or something. He’s not actually a super villain or intending to be and Harry just thinks: Is this why Spider-Man hates him?

Now Harry has a conspiracy board. But also, determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn. Fake name when?

Hear me out tho, Harry hearing that people think Peter (his Petey, his bestest friend) is a villain, and Harry knows damn well that’s not how Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised him, so he does his own investigating

And by a stroke of luck he manages to connect it to Spiderman

It all just loops back around to Harry blaming Spiderman for the things going wrong in Peter’s life

Also yes determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn needs to be a thing

(Jhgfsl Harry creates a secret identity specifically to take down Spiderman because he found out about his secret villain identity, except, maybe due to the use of Oscorp tech, everyone knows it’s Harry immediately, so instead of people realizing he’s trying to be a hero (except for maybe JJJ), everyone thinks Peter’s finally snapped and sent his devoted henchman (Harry) after his obvious arch nemesis Spiderman)

Oh but it gets even worse! The supervillains who Peter “Might be New to Villiany” Parker worked with before they became villains is a pretty interesting list. I imagine a more stable Doctor Curt Connors is mildly horrified that young Parker has turned to crime. (He had such a bright future…) Octavius, who I think usually figures out Spider-Man’s identity, wonders what game he is playing having a hero and villian identity. One which doesn’t even try to hide his civilian identity—to throw people off?

Whether he knows or not, Norman thinks that Peter snapped from the pressure. Now Harry was more expected considering the history of the Goblins. Even just taking the damn serum.

The heroes don’t know what to do. Peter only seems to be focusing on Spider-Man at the moment. Which could of course escalate. Yet it gives them someone to help direct his attention away from civilians. Richards blames himself for failing another Doom situation despite his best efforts. Maybe he should have tried working with Parker more directly? SHIELD wonders how they missed him teaming up with Osborn Industries. Spider-Man himself is not amused by how many different people try budding into his schedule in-mask while avoiding Harry.

Somehow, Aunt May does not hear of this at all.

—

The real kicker from an outsiders perspective is that Peter still submits photos to the Bugle. He collects a paycheck without trying anything close to robbing people. What type of villian even is Peter if he focuses primarily on Spider-Man? One with morals maybe? (For Now???)

Can I propose that JJJ thinks Peter's villain persona is great and enthusiastically shills for him constantly?

Like, that's his boy, Peter! Fighting the Spider-Menace! He's way too emotionally constipated to ever tell Peter he cares about him to his face, but the alter ego is fair game!

Peter is so tired.

OP I am living for this situation

The necklace was discovered at an archaeological site in a town called Vani, which is located in Georgia (the country, not the state).

Ancient Vani once served as the religious and administrative center for the Kingdom of Colchis. As I've discussed elsewhere, Colchis was also known as the homeland of the fabled Golden Fleece, and throughout much of the ancient world, the Colchians themselves were famous for their skills in goldsmithing.

The turtle pendants on this necklace are all decorated with ornate filigree and granulation patterns. The eyes of the 30 smaller turtles were originally made with glass inlay, while the eyes of the largest turtle (seen in the center) were made from drops of gold.

As this article also notes (translated from Georgian):

The excavations at Vani have uncovered lots of other artifacts made by Colchian goldsmiths (these artifacts include temple ornaments, zoomorphic figures, pieces of jewelry, diadems, headdresses, hairpins, drinking vessels, appliqués, clasps, etc.), which have provided some really valuable insights into the unique goldsmithing traditions that existed among the peoples of Colchis -- and the myths that evolved as a result.

Sources & More Info:

before tbh was widely known as autism creature and like i had never seen tbh before when i did i loved them SO MUCH and they made me so happy that i saw a post like joke exploding them and got so upset that i made a channel in my discord server labeled #TBH-Sanctuary where i gave them hats and let them frolic and made them go to tea parties with other tbh's via server emojis. unrelated note ive been thinking about taking the autism test

Indie horror games are either like "You're on a submarine because you were sent to explore a mysterious pit in the ocean floor and you slowly realize you weren't meant to resurface" or "Mr. Scrubkus is gonna get you!!!!! Don't let him get you!!!!" And Mr. Scrubkus is the one everyone talks about

dont leave that in the tags

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

I really hope its not too bad bc i actually love both components.

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Unanimous consensus: Do not do this

Other people: Hold on I’m about to do this

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

The worst part about this post??? People saying “with cheese!” Bitch cheese is literally in the word if it had no cheese it would be a dilla

Truth emerging from the dirt to shame mankind

[ID: Headline of The Mirror on 19 November 2022: Frustrated dad uses his 6ft son to shame council into fixing deep pothole. Attached is a photo of a man, shoulders deep in a hole, beside a road that is strewn with dried leaves and gravel. He and the opening are surrounded by tall grass. /end ]

anybody want to do some faggot shit like whos up for doing some faggot shit

shitpost based off a conversation i had

How could you miss the best part

Fixed it

what the fuck is english english

Sean Connery is Scottish so he clearly isn’t “English English”.

Pierce Brosnan is Irish so he clearly isn’t “English English”.

Timothy Dalton is Welsh so he clearly isn’t “English English”.

George Lazenby is Australian so he clearly isn’t “English English”.

There have been more non-English Bond stars than English ones so Roger Moore can shove his racist views up his racist arse.  He was a shit Bond anyway.

IT GOT BETTER. 

she was ethically opposed to the practice of assimilation into the hive mind but her dick was a fork and by g-d that goo girl pussy was starting to look like a toaster

why do you all hate our flash fiction