;)

no sorry i cant stand rich people with drug abuse problems bc why did u do that to yourself?? the world and all the opportunities are literally yours and youre all "bohoo im so overwhelmed and bored of life i need a distraction" fuck u take up a hobby

Literally my type >>

“imagine there’s no countries” fuck off john lennon how are we supposed to play the world cup without countries you ultimate scum

I need some FUCKING ENRICHMENT IN MY ENVIROMENT. MAN DESIGNED TO RUN NAKED THROUGH THE FOREST WHILE BEING HUNTED DOWN IS NOT BEING HUNTED DOWN AT ALL

i go to a gay bar and notice the furry convention's in town. i see a fine lookin bear remove his fursuit, revealing that underneath, he's also a fine lookin bear. I raise my eyebrows and say "woof" and all the cat furries immediately hiss and scatter

i hate seeing people my age pregnant omg abort that thang

god i'm so tired of everybody's bad faith interpretations of everything. where's the trust. where's the forgiveness. where's the understanding that most things are complex and most people have many layers. and like the black eyed peas once said. where is the love

my little brother got a girlfriend recently and the two of them have been making their discord icons matching anime couples, so my other brother, his twin, keeps changing his icon to a third wheel character to annoy them

this is an old post but i have an update: the second brother started voice calling and playing games with a girl he likes, and every time the first brother walks into their room while hes talking to her he makes sure to hype him up, but in absurdly hyperbolized ways like “broo i just saw you on the news congrats on saving the bus full of orphans from crashing into the baby panda hospital. also zendaya called and asked if you wanted to go out with her and billie eilish but obviously you wont because youre so loyal. and joe biden came by personally and said he wanted to give you an award for most handsome man alive but i told him to just put it with the others”

instructions unclear

me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington

im begging all of you to stop reblogging th is

Your actions have consequences

I see Hollywood is now very into the idea of buying something once and then owning it forever and being able to make infinite copies. Which. Isn’t quite the message they imparted upon me in my childhood. In the spirit of their own long-held stance:

to have and to hold, to fuck nasty, till murder-suicide do us part

@breadussy Fuck nasty and kill yourself immediately after

We were feeling pretty chuffed about having the #6 trending post on this website until we saw number 7 was a Supernatural mpreg edit

Alrighty then

Yea that's fair

I always get a little suspicious when men are hardcore against women having any pubic hair. I understand having a preference but to be angry because an adult woman has a hairy coochie? You know who else is hairless? Girls who haven't hit puberty.

i know it's an example of me taking idioms too literally, but the phrase "when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail" never fails to make me imagine something like when that lion in madagascar starts hallucinating all his friends as slabs of steak

me when i have a hammer in my hand if i'm being fully honest

attention to all dashcon attendees

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

stay out of the ballpit

there are people who think this is a joke

this is not a joke

please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

happy ballpiss day!

tumblr staff says that if we don't buy $17,000 in crabs by 10 p.m. the whole website is going to be shut down by hotel management and all the guests are going to have to go home

calling every gnc cis person you see an "egg waiting to crack" even as a joke is not cool or funny at all actually it is extremely invasive and weird and you are just reinventing gender roles but making it "progressive"

is it just me or is this is an extremely weird thing to say about a random stranger based on nothing but a snippet of an eavesdropped conversation