chill

We live in a world full of villains who tell us their actions are all our fault.

we should start making linux users memes like the ford owner memes

wish all my ancestors girlies had vibrators 😔

Me thinking about all the ancestor girlies that didnt have vibrators

We live in the cursed timeline

No, we lived in the blessed timeline, because the creator of a harmless webcomic character that got turned into a meme sued the shit out of neo-nazis for appropriating his art and using it to recruit kids to their fucked up ideology.

you go girl! and don’t come back!

last night i went to cvs to buy lube, i was walking around looking for it and this lady came up to me and was like “can i help you find something?” and i’m like “lube” and she was like “no we don’t sell car stuff here” so i was like ummmmmm and she like “oh for like um” and she started to make this jerking off motion and i was just like yes

math people scare me. math people will be like "math works in mysterious ways TO YOU. i get it though." and they do and it's fucking terrifying.

and if you ask them to elaborate they will but then you'll wish they didn't

im educated but like…im still stupit

tumblr is basically a gay bar in a mental institute

who did you have to kill to get that URL

"I hope this email finds you well!"

How the email finds me:

hey man, i noticed you seemed a touch perturbed by me providing you with a smaller and daintier fork than mine earlier when we sat down for dinner and i just want you to know i didnt mean to offend you its just that it felt fitting for your very feminine hands 

Soooo untrue, worstie <3 *draws my blade as my life bar appears on the bottom of your vision*

'girl power' content before everyone got obsessed with feminism and wokeness was soooo much more fun. powerpuff girls, Hannah Montana, my life as a teenage robot, that's so raven, Kim possible, Winx club, and the like were really really good shows with strong female leads that were really good because it was just girls doing fun shit. now everything has to be subversive and gritty and #girlboss and we get shit like Captain Marvel that's just propaganda with a bra on it or Jessica jones or the shitty ass Winx club reboot that's more concerned with faux diversity than it is with the actual content of the show

target audience

Dont care didnt ask plus the sleeves of your wizard robe are embarrassingly short

Is that a promise?

Road trip who’s coming

God works in mysterious ways TO YOU. I get it though