fuck it we ball <- neither fucking nor balling
google search how to act normal
google search how often should i blink
google search what am i supposed to say after i say whats up and they say not much
google search how close is it normal to stand
google search am i offputting
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
An actual World Heritage Post
how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it
one week until ten years of Spiders Georg
stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day
happy one year anniversary to possibly the best plum poem since william carlos williams' "this is just to say"
happy two year anniversary to possibly the best plum poem since william carlos williams’ “this is just to say”
what if it all worked out
it will..............
it will...................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every time someone says "ingredients" I say "ingredience" in response and then I realize I just sound like I repeated them because it sounds the fucking same out loud
me when i say inch resting
sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is
"I've been thinking about" something I've thought of for 5 seconds
"it just occurred to me" this has been bugging me for 11 years.
asterkid-deactivated20150106
tomorrow……… is august„„„„,?????
its augu…….st?? tomorrW???????????
8th monTH???????? 4 ,more mont hs of 2013?????????????
what??????????????????????????????………………………..
happy one decade to this
what are you even supposed to do when youre angry. cant scream at anyone cos im not a dick. cant break anything cos i paid money for that. cant rip my hair out cos i need it on my head. literally what now
There's something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you're one dense little freak aren't you
my wife, upon learning that pubes can be straight: Thats not bush,,, thats just grass
The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924
theroomyouneverenter
whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible
happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate
to me big smiles are so synonymous with horror that fails to be scary that i think if you put me in a creepy room saw-style with a blood splattered smiley face on the wall i would calm down a bit. because it indicates a person trying too hard to be sickos and scary. it's a bit of a cutiepie trait. but if it was a blood splattered frowny face i'd get scared because then i know they mean business