if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think
oh?
so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.
I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.
unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"
My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS
i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.
however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes
My boyfriend edited this one picture of a seal with huge wet eyes so that it had a super tiny head and it was so funny that several days later it’s all I can think about when my brain isn’t preoccupied
boyfriend here. world needs to see the image
what if i was evil and ran torwards you at very fast speeds
My arms are strong, I would catch you ands hug you
Couples are always hiring me to stand next to their fake electric fireplaces and pop my knuckles, knees, hips, etc to simulate the sound of a real log burning. They can enjoy a few romantic nights this way but inevitably one or both of them develops an insatiable lust for my hypermobile and easily-injured joints and their relationship falls apart
“A lady in our provincial capital, Victoria, BC, has a cat who has a special friend that visits every morning. She finally took pics.”
Source: flic.kr
what is art about? blood. what is love about? blood. what is hate about? blood. what is sex about? blood. what is history about? blood. what am i about? blood. what is blood about? idk ask a biologist i guess
hi, biologist here! blood is about gay sex
Reddit Refugee here!
I always posted my cat on r/Cats
I will bless you with my boy
i think if you block someone it should play an explosion animation on their dashboard but not say what happened or who . just like battleship
it’s always the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, but never the Irritating Ordeal of Being Known
someone: [correctly infers something about my personality based on my patterns of behavior]
me: [seethes with rage for some fucking reason]
