Me:

Also me:

I’m Blitzo Dicker and you’re watching the fucking 666 news!

WOOSHOOSHOOSHHSHSH

(audio from Battleblock Theater!)

yOuR LiTtLe sTuNT-

For all your Alastor needs!

I love him.

iconic moment #1

*sobs in gelfling* I love all these new children 

Lmao the third episode

Hup the Deet Guardian 🍃

(PRIDE MONTH (Lesbian)

If you ever wondered what does fuel shortage look like in the end of the world just look at portugal right now. Shit’s crazy

Truck drivers are on strike, specifically the ones who carry dangerous stuff—like gasoline. The strike was announced months ago, but nobody gave a shit, and since yesterday there has been no gas coming into the country. This has nothing to do with the government either, it’s a matter of private companies paying their employers less than 600€ a month to drive for hours carrying dangerous materials. As a result, people freaked out and flocked to gas stations everywhere to fill in their tanks. Where I live, the entire area, only two gas stations have gas left. In left than 12h, people sucked the country dry of gas out of fear. You’d stay in line for 30 minutes trying to get some gas, literally anywhere, and you’d risk the chance of there being nothing left for you. Buses and taxis have shortened their services because they can’t refill. Uber has sent out notes saying they can’t provide any more services. Our local ferries have announced they can’t cross the river after Friday because that’s how long their gas lasts. Airplanes aren’t flying, a lot of flights are being cancelled because they’re also short on fuel. The government had to call in the fucking military, though I’m not sure what for. Whatever gas is there left, government agencies are rationing it towards emergency vehicles. Literally the entire country is slowly freezing. My boyfriend only has enough gas til the weekend, if this situation hasn’t been solved until then, he can’t go to work. A lot of people are in the same situation. I cant be sure if I am able to get on a bus, but chances are, in a few days I won’t even be able to leave my fucking house lmao this is absolute chaos, I have never seen anything like this and it’s looking like this shit won’t be settled anytime soon because the employers absolute refuse to negotiate with the Union that set up the strike. Literally employers do not care that an entire country is frozen, with nothing, not even ambulances, and all because apparently they refuse to pay a little more than 600€

The entirety of Algarve is on the verge of touristic collapse. An entire region hasn’t got a single drop of gas, thousands of tourists stranded because they can’t fly home and cancellation after cancellation from others who refuse to come to this mess right now. I admit I never imagined the monumental impact gas has on our lives but it’s been a eye-opening experience

This is all true! And let me add another perspective.

My mom works in a retirement home. Half of her staff isn’t coming to work because they live halfway across the district, food isn’t coming because their cars have no gas.They still have enough for a week but yeah… And they were already understaffed.

My stepdad’s family owns a drinks distribution company (water, soda, milk) and their trucks also have barely any gas left so a lot of restaurants and cafés have started to suffer from them not being able to meet their needs.

LITERALLY EVERY INDUSTRY IN THE COUNTRY HAS STOPPED AND ALL BECAUSE A FEW PRIVATE COMPANIES REFUSE, ABSOLUTELY REFUSE, TO PAY MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE TO THEIR WORKERS YAY CAPITALISM

My flight to portugal is tomorrow … I guess I’ll walk to setubal then lol

If you take the train you’re safe. I think you should be able to make it from the airport and back if you take the subway and the train, but like it could be REALLY packed….

Info in english and more

https://www.google.pt/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-europe-47960359

https://www.google.pt/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/portugal-fuel-strike-petrol-flight-delay-disruption-airport-travel-a8873986.html%3famp

Even though is more of the same thing, there are two more links in english about what the fuck is going on in portugal

Holy shit why has nobody talked about this???

“lol Android users be like-” your phone is designed to break down after a year, your apps are all programmed to draw unnecessary power after 2 years, all your accessories and hardware are arbitrarily made with only 1 kind of plug in mind so you can’t use them with anything else or get them from anywhere else, the cables are 150$ and break in a year, your phones will not charge if there is lint in the port, the stores will ask you for 150$ to remove that lint, the phone itself is 900$

But your chat bubbles are blue so that balances it out right

they literally removed the audio plugin and called it a benefit that it can now only work with their arbitrary wireless headphones. They coloured the phones a pinky gold and sold it for twice as much.

This isn’t a drag against you this is a drag against apple, the company. Their products are price hiked to an insane, impossible degree. They aren’t selling you the product, they are selling you the superiority of being able to smugly say you have an iphone. 

They deliberately built up a culture of apple supremacy (especially as a class barrier but i aint even gonna go into that), and now people are making posts like “lmao android users have a bad camera” (they dont) or “lmao android users send bad snapchats” (the android version of snap is deliberately coded to force lower resolution images in order to, surprise, get people saying that exact thing to further encourage #iphoneculture)

Buy an iphone if you want lord knows I’ve bought frivolouss things but can you PLEASE recognize youre being deceived??? theyre playing you every single time you make a post about your iphone and buy into their culture to squeeze more and more money out of you and divide the market and inevitably the classes. 

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

The iphone stands as a testament to the power of brand loyalty. theres no qualitative reason to buy iphones. 

the president of nigeria is about to fuck boko haram up and cut his own salary in half and criminalized female genital mutilation

the president of guinea built/is building infrastructure and school and wells all over the country and is decreasing youth unemployment exponentially

the president of cote d’ivoire made school mandatory of children ages 6-16 and banned plastic bags while also building ultra modern trasportation infrastructure

the future is for real in africa 

I think this should have a hell of a lot more notes on it than it does. This is what good news looks like folk, and the continent of Africa surely deserves a shed load of it.

Today (April 7th) is Remembrance Day for the Rwandan genocide. While Rwanda still faces challenges, their recovery has been incredible. They now have the highest percentage of women in parliament around the world (one of only two countries to have over 50% women), their gross national income has risen each year, and life expectancy has risen from  48 in 1990 to 65 in 2013.

If Hayley Kiyoko is lesbian Jesus then Ellen has to be lesbian God.

Heterosexual™: why do you write so many poems about the beauty of women when you could be writing them about men?

Sappho, about to invent lesbianism: oh? you haven’t heard?

Friend: Hey want to watch this sappy romance movie? 

Me: 

Friend: It’s gay. 

Me: 

Just imagining silly stuff happening during their early days. Hooray for Kassandra calling Alexios “Malaka!” :D Edit: Holy shit you guys, I never imagined this comic would get this far seriously…Thank you all so much <3